


Easy to Say but Harder to Feel

by dazzamre



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family, M/M, Parenthood, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:44:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 61,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazzamre/pseuds/dazzamre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a chance encounter is all it takes to turn your life upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to dreamerren and mrs viola swamp for the beta. Title taken from Joshua Radin’s "The Fear You Won’t Fall".

Ace Young batted the fuzzy white ball of the Santa hat out of his face for the millionth time and looked down at the clipboard in his hands. After a flurry of activity this morning, things had finally settled down enough to allow him a chance to breath. Christmas was always a busy time at the hospital, but this was the first year he’d been in charge of coordinating the seasonal volunteers. Charity organizations and civic groups, not to mention high school and college kids trying to squeeze in required community service hours before the semester ended, usually started calling just after Thanksgiving. This year was no exception.

He flipped through the first couple of pages in front of him, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. Ace shook his head and paused for just a minute to look around the lobby.

Two days before Christmas, and the atmosphere was happy and buzzing with excitement. Even though he knew the kids and their families would rather be anywhere but here over the holidays, the hospital staff did their best to keep things cheerful. The playground equipment that usually occupied the middle of the lobby had been moved to one side to make room for the large Christmas tree. Brightly colored ornaments and paper decorations that the kids had made covered the tree, its bright lights twinkling happily, oblivious to the misery in other parts of the building. Fake, but elaborately wrapped gifts, were piled under the tree. A couple of charities would bring in the real thing on Christmas morning, which reminded Ace that he needed to call and confirm that their Santa Claus would be there.

On the way to his office, Ace passed the gift shop, making a quick mental note to stop by later and pick up the Children’s Hospital ornaments his mom had requested. The walkie-talkie clipped to his belt crackled, and Ace grabbed it quickly. "Yeah?"

"Ace, the clown, er…Mr. Chuckles is here. Where is he scheduled to set up?"

Ace smiled as he recognized the voice of one of his favorite volunteers, Paris, who had quickly become more of his assistant than a volunteer, and who, he’d learned the hard way, was not very fond of clowns. "5th floor, left wing," Ace answered checking his list.

"Thanks."

Ace rounded the corner to his office and ran into a solid figure loitering outside his door.

"Hey, Ry," Ace said, barely glancing at his brother as he opened the door. He dropped the clipboard on his desk, then turned to his computer, searching for Santa Claus’s telephone number. "Hey, can you pick up the ornaments Mom wanted before you leave?" he asked, dialing the number. "I keep forgetting, and they’ll be closed by the time I get out of here."

"Yeah, sure. I was…" Ryan paused as Ace held up a finger.

"This is Ace Young calling from Children’s Hospital. If you could give me a call, I just need to confirm that you’ll be here by 8:00 on the 25th." He rattled off the telephone number and extension before hanging up. "Sorry. I had to take care of that. So, what are you doing here?"

"We’re supposed to sing today. Remember?"

"What?" Ace asked, snatching up his clipboard and flipping to the back page. Halfway down the page were their names, circled and underlined, staring back at him. He sighed and closed his eyes. "I’ve been so busy I completely forgot. Is Marc here yet?"

"I just talked to him, and he’s on his way. He’ll meet us here," Ryan answered.

"Great. You wait for him here. I need to make sure Paris isn’t hyperventilating with Mr. Chuckles. Meet me on the surgery floor in twenty minutes?" Ace called, already out the door, not waiting for an answer.

~*~*~*~

 _"In the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he’s a circus clown. We’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman until the other kiddies knock him down."_

Ace grinned at the way the kids’ faces lit up as he and his brothers sang. This was exactly what he needed to remind himself why he loved his job so much and that he really was doing something that mattered. It was easy to forget the simple joy that distracting a family from their troubles for even half an hour could bring, and, even if he couldn’t do it everyday, he made it possible for other people to.

The children that were well enough had gathered in the lounge area, many wearing brightly colored pajamas, and more than one shiny red reindeer nose blinked back at them. It always amazed Ace how resilient the kids he saw on a day to day basis were, but to see them in the hospital so close to Christmas, smiling and singing along to "Jingle Bells," touched his heart.

As they finished their last song and the crowd began to disperse, a few parents thanking them and some of the kids waving as they made their way back to their rooms, a man standing off to the side caught Ace’s attention. He looked tired and worn out, not that unusual here, but there was something about him that intrigued Ace.

Reluctantly, Ace tore his attention away from him to say goodbye to Marc and Ryan. As his brothers made their way to the elevator, he called out one final reminder about the ornaments, grinning as the doors slid closed before Ryan could finish his retort.

When Ace looked back, he was surprised to see the man, only a couple of feet away now, heading in his direction.

"That’s a really nice thing you guys did for the kids. They really seemed to enjoy it," he said.

"Thanks. We enjoy it, too," Ace nodded.

"Um…I don’t want to bother you. I’m sure you’re busy, but my daughter heard you singing from her room. She really wanted to come out here, but the nurse said she needed to stay in bed. I was wondering…"

"Lead the way," Ace interrupted, smiling as the man grinned at him.

"Really? I appreciate this," he said, starting down the hall with Ace following behind him. "Apparently, Dad singing just isn’t the same," he explained as he pushed the door open, revealing the little girl, who couldn’t have been more than five, Ace guessed, propped up in the hospital bed. She smiled at him brightly as he lingered in the doorway.

"Are you the singing man?" she asked quietly.

Ace melted just a little bit as he entered the room. "Most people just call me Ace," he grinned, moving to stand by her bed. "What’s your name?"

"Abbey. And this is Daddy," she said, snuggling against him as he sat on the edge of the bed, careful to avoid the tangle of tubes and wires connected to her.

"Most people call _me_ Chris," he offered, his eyes twinkling as he ruffled his daughter’s hair affectionately.

Ace laughed. "So, Abbey. What are you doing here?"

"I had to have my…a…ap…" she screwed up her face as she tried to remember the word. "Daddy?" she asked, looking up at him, her brown eyes, which Ace couldn’t help but notice matched her father’s perfectly, round and questioning.

 _Definitely a daddy’s girl_ , Ace thought with a grin. It was obvious that Chris adored his daughter and was tightly wrapped around her little finger.

"You had to have your appendix removed, sweetheart," he said gently stroking her hair and smiling. Ace could hear the familiar mixture of relief, worry, and tiredness laced throughout his words. He’d wondered more than once if the hospital stays weren’t harder on the parents than the children. The kids seemed to bounce back pretty quickly, but Ace had seen one too many parent sobbing outside their child’s room to think it was easy on them. He knew most of them would give anything to trade places with their kids and spare them the pain of what they were going through. He didn’t doubt that Chris was any different.

"Well, I guess that means there are at least two appendix-less people in this room. Why would we want a silly, useless appendix anyway, right?" Ace asked, making Abbey giggle and earning him a grateful smile from Chris. "Tell me, what’s your favorite Christmas song, Abbey?"

"Do you know the song about Wilbur?" she asked hopefully. "Daddy said you probably wouldn’t know it, but it’s my favorite."

Ace smiled with relief, glad that he knew the song and didn’t have to disappoint her. "You mean ‘Wilbur the Christmas Mouse’?" he asked playfully. "That’s one of my favorites, too. I used to sing it to my nephew all the time."

She beamed at him. "You know it! I told you he would, Daddy," she said, frowning at her father disapprovingly for not believing her.

Chris bit back a smile and held up his hands in defeat. "I guess I was wrong, princess."

"It’s been a long time since I’ve sung it. Do you want to help me?" Ace asked, smiling when Abbey nodded enthusiastically. He tried not to notice the amusement on Chris’ face as he and Abbey launched into the song about a mischievous little mouse that steals Santa’s cookies.

Abbey sang the words she knew and dissolved into a fit of giggles when they finished the song. Ace glanced at her father, their eyes locking for a moment before Chris looked away.

"Abbey, don’t you have something to say?" Chris prompted, looking at his daughter expectantly.

"Thank you, Mr. Ace," she said politely, smiling at her father in a see-I-said-it kind of way.

"You’re welcome, Abbey. I hope you feel better soon."

She smiled at him as her dad stood up. "I’ll be right back, okay?" he said brushing a kiss across her forehead. Abbey nodded and waited until Chris and Ace were almost to the door before calling after them.

"Mr. Ace?"

Ace turned back to look at her, still amused by the name. "Yes?"

"Will you come back and see me tomorrow?" she asked.

"Abbey," Chris warned, raising his eyebrows at her. She smiled back at him, completely unfazed by the stern expression.

Ace hesitated just a second. "Of course, I will," he smiled. "Do you know the song about Dominick the Donkey? No?" he said when she shook her head. "Well, maybe I can teach it to you tomorrow. I‘ll see you, Abbey."

Chris followed Ace out into the hall. "I think you made her day," he said. "I can’t thank you enough, but you don’t have to come back tomorrow. She’ll understand."

"It’s really not a problem," Ace insisted, realizing he wanted to come back and probably would have even if Abbey hadn’t asked him to. "I’ll be here anyway."

Chris looked like he was about to object, but Ace’s walkie-talkie beeped again. "Excuse me. Yeah? Be right there," he said in reply to Paris’ urgent request. "Got to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow."

"You really don’t…" Chris tried one more time.

"Tomorrow!" Ace called over his shoulder, already on his way to see what crisis Paris was having with Mr. Chuckles. Striding down the hallway, he found himself, despite the fact that he had just left them, really looking forward to seeing Abbey and Chris again the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ouch!" Abbey squeaked making Chris wince as he tried to untangle the brush from her hair. There were some things about raising a little girl that never got any easier, and trying to brush the hair of a squirming five-year-old was one of them.

"How’s that?" Chris asked, tugging playfully on her ponytail.

She reached up to pat her head, checking his work, and nodded her approval. "Thanks, Daddy."

"Anytime, sweetheart," he answered. He watched as she turned her attention back to the television screen where The Wiggles were singing what Chris had, not so affectionately, dubbed "the quacking song." The first time Abbey had heard it, she had run around their apartment for two weeks quacking and flapping her arms at him. Chris smiled as she giggled, feeling his throat tighten. He’d never thought he could possibly feel this much love and devotion for another person, but the first time he’d held his daughter in his arms, he’d known that he’d move heaven and earth for Abbey. And he’d only come to love her more, if that was possible, over the years as she’d grown into a bright, caring little girl. As much as she depended and relied on him to take care of her, Chris knew that he needed her just as much, maybe more.

"Daddy?"

Torn from his thoughts, Chris looked up, realizing she had turned the TV off and was watching him instead. "Yeah, sweetie?"

"When do you think Mr. Ace will be here?" she asked. "He’s nice. I want to color a picture for him so I can give it to him when he comes back," she continued, pointing to the stack of coloring books and crayons beside the bed, just out of reach.

"I think he’d like that a lot," Chris answered, dragging her food tray over to the bed and handing her the materials she’d requested. "But, Abbey, he might be too busy to come back. Do you understand?"

Abbey nodded as she flipped through the pages searching for just the right picture. Even though Chris didn’t want to admit it, he was hoping Ace would come back, too. The few minutes he’d spent with them yesterday had been the first time since this whole ordeal started that Chris had really smiled and not just put up a brave front for his daughter. He told himself that it was simply because Ace had taken such a genuine interest in Abbey and seeing her so happy had made _him_ happy. That was true, but there was more to it than that. More that Chris didn’t want to allow himself to think about.

Chris grinned as Abbey painstakingly colored the page in front of her. She took great effort in picking the perfect color, her tongue sticking out just a little as she concentrated on what she was doing.

"What do you think?" she asked, holding the picture up for him to see and inadvertently sending her box of crayons spilling onto the floor. "I’m sorry!" she exclaimed as Chris moved to clean up the mess.

"It’s okay, Ab," Chris assured her as he knelt down beside the bed, fishing under it for a couple of missing colors. He was still on the floor when there was a knock on the door and it creaked open. Chris peeked over the edge of the bed as Abbey cried, "Hi, Mr. Ace!"

Chris climbed up from the floor, brushing off his jeans and stuffing the last of the crayons back in the box. "Hey," he grinned, a little surprised that Ace had really come back, despite his assurances that he would.

"Hi. Hey, Abbey. I brought you an early Christmas present. I hope that’s okay?" Ace smiled at Abbey, although his question was directed to Chris. Chris could only nod, amazed that this near stranger would go to the trouble of bringing his daughter a gift. Ace handed the green and red bag to Abbey, watching with anticipation as she pushed aside the tissue paper to pull out the present.

"Wilbur!" she squealed. "Thank you, Mr. Ace!" she said, hugging the stuffed mouse tightly. "I love him! Oh, I have something for you, too," she suddenly remembered. It took her forever, but she finally tore the page from the coloring book and handed it to Ace.

Ace smiled, clearly touched by the simple gesture, as he looked over it. "Thank you. I’m going to put this up in my office as soon as I get back," he told her, adding it to the stack of papers on his clipboard.

"Are you going to teach me the song about the donkey?" Abbey asked, still clutching Wilbur in her arms.

Ace opened his mouth to answer, but never got the chance as the door opened and a blonde woman hurried into the room. She glanced at Ace for just a second before focusing her attention on Abbey. "Hey, sweetheart! How are you doing?"

"Look what Mr. Ace gave me!" Abbey grinned, holding the stuffed animal up for the woman to see.

"That’s really cute, Abbey. Mr. Ace?" she asked, looking over at Chris questioningly.

"Um, Deanna, this is Ace. Ace, this is my friend, Deanna. Who’s not supposed to be here," Chris finished, looking back at her pointedly.

Deanna dismissed him with a wave of her hand, smiling at Ace, "It’s nice to meet you." He nodded, but she continued talking before he had time to answer. "I couldn’t enjoy my trip knowing that you two were here. Have you eaten?" she asked, looking skeptically at Chris, taking in his rumbled appearance and the two days-worth of stubble on his face. "I bet you haven’t even left this room. Why don’t you go get some rest? Or something to eat? Let me and Abbey catch up."

"I’m fine. Abbey’s probably going to be released soon. I’m not going anywhere," Chris protested.

"You need a break," Deanna insisted, crossing her arms and giving him a look he knew meant she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. "You’re exhausted."

"Let me buy you a cup of coffee," Ace intervened who, judging from his expression, was as surprised by the offer as Chris was. "You can be back in two minutes if they need you."

"I think that’s an excellent idea," Deanna said. Chris didn’t miss the subtle way her eyebrows shot up in his direction. "Abbey and I will be fine. Right, Abbey?"

"You can go, Daddy. I don’t mind," she said.

Willing to admit defeat, and knowing that there was no way he could defy all three of them, Chris reluctantly agreed. "Okay, I’ll go." He attempted to ignore the voice in his head that was celebrating the chance to talk to Ace, chalking it up to the fact that, except for the doctors, the most stimulating conversation he’d had in the last three days had revolved around which Care Bear was his favorite.

Ace pulled a card from his pocket as Deanna practically pushed them out the door and handed it to her. "Um, here. If you need anything, just have the nurse page me."

"Will do," she smiled brightly, waving as she sent them down the hall toward the elevators.

~*~*~*~

Ace sat two Styrofoam cups on the table between them, sliding into the seat across from Chris. "Deanna seems really…nice," Ace finished, struggling to find the right word.

"If by nice you mean, pushy, then yes, definitely," Chris laughed. "No, she’s great. A little overbearing at times, but she loves Abbey. She means well. I don’t know what I’d do without her."

Ace nodded. "So are you two, um…"

Chris looked at him a second before he realized what Ace was asking. "No!" he answered a little too forcefully. "Um, no, we’re not. She’s one of my best friends, and she’s really helped me out with Abbey, but…No," Chris repeated.

Chris watched as Ace stirred a pack of artificial sweetener into his coffee. The silence was not quite awkward, but Chris was a little uncomfortable with where the questioning was headed.

"So…um, you must really enjoy your job. I mean, you seem to," Chris said quickly. "It seems interesting, at least."

"Yeah, I love it. I wish I could spend more time with the kids, but I can’t really complain about anything," Ace agreed. Chris watched him over the top of his coffee cup as he seemed to debate whether or not to go on. "I always wanted a houseful of kids, but…Working here is almost as good."

"Want _ed_?" Chris asked, realizing he was probably delving into something he didn’t want to, but unable to stop himself.

"What do you mean?" Ace asked, running his finger around the rim of his cup and glancing up questioningly at Chris.

"Did you change your mind?"

Ace shrugged and looked down at the table. "I didn’t say that. It’s just the way things work out sometimes."

Chris was silent for a minute as he looked at him. He had never really given a lot of thought to becoming a father, it had just sort of happened, but he was thankful every day for the chance he’d been given with Abbey. While part of him wanted to call Ace on the vague answer, he let it go.

"Well, I think you’d be a great dad. Abbey’s completely smitten with you, you know. She doesn’t usually take to strangers that quickly," Chris grinned, shaking his head.

"She’s fantastic. You must be really proud of her," answered Ace, smiling genuinely at him.

"I am. She’s…changed my world, you know?" Chris replied, aware of the sentimentality seeping into his voice as he spoke about his daughter.

"Yeah, I’m sure," Ace nodded. He glanced at his watch and cringed. "I hate to run, but I’ve got to get back to work."

"Oh, of course. I probably need to get back upstairs, anyway. But thanks for the coffee. It was really nice just to get out of the room for awhile," Chris said, ignoring the unexpected wave of disappointment that swept over him.

"No problem. I’ll see you around," Ace promised, grabbing his empty cup as he stood up. He hesitated a second, lingering by the table for longer than necessary. "Well, um, bye," Ace grinned.

"Yeah. Bye," Chris called, smiling as he watched Ace leave the cafeteria. Chris scoffed at himself. They’d be leaving the hospital soon, and he’d never see Ace again. It was probably better for everyone that way.

~*~*~*~

When Chris entered the hospital room, Abbey was sound asleep, still holding fast to Wilbur.

"So?" Deanna whispered, patting the chair beside her until Chris sat down. "How was coffee?"

"It was…coffee," Chris shrugged, purposely avoiding the implication of her question. He was used to Deanna prodding him about his love life, or lack thereof, and trying to find the perfect guy for him, but he really didn’t want to get into the same old discussion with her right now.

"You know what I mean," she raised her eyebrows at him and smirked, undeterred by his reluctant demeanor. "Ace is cute. How’d you meet him?"

"De, really, just don’t start," Chris sighed. "He works at the hospital, and he’s been great to Abbey, and I appreciate that, but that’s it, okay? I’m not interested in anything else."

"Oh, well, now you’re just lying. Why can’t you admit that you _might_ like him? He seems like a nice guy, and he obviously likes you," she continued softly so as not to wake Abbey.

"Yeah?" he asked, a tiny smile touching his lips before he shook his head. "It doesn’t matter. I’ve got to think about Abbey, and me getting involved with someone, _anyone_ , is going to complicate things for her. I won’t do that."

Deanna sighed in frustration at the familiar argument. "Look, I understand. I really do, Chris. Abbey’s lucky to have you, and I think it’s admirable that you want to protect her. But you deserve to be happy, too. So stop being an idiot," she frowned, slipping Ace’s card into his shirt pocket.

"What’s that for?"

"I think, when you come to your senses, you’re going to need it. You can thank me then."


	3. Chapter 3

Ace sat at the bar trying to remember why he had even agreed to come in the first place. He certainly wasn’t in the mood to ring in the New Year with a bunch of strangers at this run down bar his friend Bucky had discovered, no matter how good the band playing was supposed to be.

Ryan had practically dragged him from their apartment, maybe not kicking and screaming but definitely sulking, complaining that he needed to get over whatever was bothering him. Ace knew his brother had a point, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t have preferred to stay in with Chinese takeout, celebrating New Year’s Eve vicariously with Anderson Cooper and the masses in Times Square. Although all those happy, cheering people would probably have annoyed him as much as all the happy, cheering people crowded into the bar were.

Ace didn’t want to be happy right now. He was content to wallow in his misery, ignoring everyone around him as he signaled the bartender for another beer. That included the blond sitting beside him who had been shamelessly flirting with him for the last fifteen minutes. Normally, he would have found some polite way to tell her he wasn’t interested, but tonight he just couldn’t be bothered. She finally gave up, muttering some not particularly nice, but also not particularly untrue, things under her breath as she zeroed in on another guy.

“Hey, Bro. How’s it going?” Ryan asked, clapping him on the back as he filled the vacated seat.

Ace looked over at him, debating just how mad Ryan would be if he ditched him here to go home. He knew his brother and Bucky meant well trying to get him out tonight, but he was only ruining it for everyone. Maybe if he left now they could still salvage the rest of their night. Ryan, however, was apparently reading his mind.

“Look, stay until the band starts and then if you still want to go home and mope, I’ll call the cab myself, okay?” Ryan promised. “Just try to have a good time. It’s New Year’s!” he reminded him enthusiastically.

Ace nodded, still a bit reluctant, but willing to make an effort for his brother. “Fine,” Ace said at last, forcing a smile. Ryan grinned at him, knocking their bottles together lightly before disappearing back into the crowd.

Ace reminded himself that it wasn’t Ryan’s fault he was in such a bad mood. He hadn’t even told him what was going on, although Ryan evidently had some idea since he’d told him two days ago that _whoever_ he was, he wasn’t worth it. Ace disagreed, but Ryan didn’t need to know that.

He had gone back upstairs to see Abbey before he left for the day on Christmas Eve only to find the housekeeping staff cleaning the empty room. He’d known that she was leaving soon, but he’d hoped to see her, and okay, _yeah_ , Chris, again before she was released. Ace had felt _something_ when he was with Chris, he couldn’t deny that, but every time he thought about tracking down his phone number through hospital records, he convinced himself that even if he had, it certainly wasn’t reciprocated. Besides, if Chris _wanted_ to get in touch with him, it wouldn’t be that difficult.

Ace ignored the cheer from the crowd as the band took the stage, contemplating switching to something stronger since the beer obviously wasn’t having the desired effect.

“Hope everyone’s having a happy New Year!” The yelling and clapping drowned out the rest of what was being said, but Ace wasn’t listening anyway. He recognized the voice, but that was impossible. He had to be imagining it, or maybe he’d had more to drink than he thought.

Slowly, Ace spun around on the bar stool, his eyes locking on the figure on stage. Despite the crappy lighting, there was no denying that that was Chris. Ace blinked, once to convince himself that it _really_ was him, and again trying to reconcile the image of the doting dad he knew with the man performing. Gone was the easy grin Ace had become so accustomed to, replaced instead with an intensity that he found just as captivating. His typical ‘dad attire’ had given way to jeans that were tight in all the right places and an equally tight black t-shirt.

“No fucking way,” Ace whispered, standing up to get a better view over the crowd. It took a minute for his shock to wear off, and him to realize that not only was that Chris, but he was _good_.

Ace jumped as he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He’d evidently been so preoccupied that he hadn’t even noticed Ryan and Bucky pushing their way through the throng of people to get to him. They both seemed happy to see that he’d finally left his spot at the bar.

“I told you they were good!” Bucky said loudly to be heard over the music. “Aren’t you glad you came with us?”

Ace nodded mutely, his head swimming a tad from the alcohol and unexpected surprise of seeing Chris again. Ace gripped the beer bottle a little tighter and looked back at the stage. He wasn’t sure exactly when Chris spotted him, but it quickly became obvious that the looks he kept shooting in their direction were anything but accidental.

Ryan edged closer to Ace and bent his head to talk to him. “Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah, why?” Ace answered, diverting his attention just long enough to glance at him.

Ryan narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously, taking the opportunity in a break between songs to question him. “Ten minutes ago you were ready to _walk_ home. Now I don’t think I could drag you out of here if I wanted to. What gives?”

“You told me to have a good time,” Ace shrugged. “Make up your mind, Ry.” Ryan scowled at him, but he backed off, choosing to accept the shift in Ace’s attitude no matter what had caused it.

Ace had worked his way through roughly a dozen possible scenarios by the time the band’s set finished. He wasn’t sure any of them were very likely, but, really, as long as he just got to talk to Chris again he’d be happy. Ace watched with elation as Chris said something to one of his band mates before jumping from the stage and threading his way through the crowd toward them.

“Hey, man. I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Chris grinned, looking quickly at Ryan and Bucky before focusing his attention on Ace.

“Same here,” Ace admitted, trying to temper the huge smile that threatened to overwhelm his face. He realized Ryan was looking at him expectantly, although with a whole new level of comprehension on his face. “Um, Chris, this is my brother Ryan and my friend Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you,” Chris said, shaking both of their hands.

“Well, um…we’ll just let you two catch up,” Ryan said, giving Ace a none too subtle wink as he pushed Bucky away from the bar and back into the crowd.

Ace felt his pulse quicken at Chris’ deep, hearty laugh. “Come on. Let me buy you a drink,” Chris offered, grabbing an empty seat at the bar. “Hey, Nick, two more,” he called to the bartender, nodding at the bottle in Ace’s hand.

“So, how’s Abbey?” Ace asked, accepting the beer with a smile.

“Good as new. She hasn’t let Wilbur out of her sight,” Chris chuckled. “I think it was her favorite present this year.”

“You guys rocked,” came a slightly slurred voice from behind them. They both looked over their shoulder to see the woman that had been eyeing Ace earlier. Ace stifled a groan, hoping Chris would brush her off.

“Thanks,” Chris replied offhandedly, turning back to Ace. “Where were we?”

“You planning on celebrating after you leave here?” she asked, not giving up. “I know a really great party. Invite only, but I can get you in.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not interested,” Chris said firmly.

She spotted Ace, glaring at him before turning back to Chris. “What? Too busy talking to your fucking _boyfriend_? Whatever. Your loss,” she informed him haughtily.

“You want to get some air?” Chris asked Ace suddenly. “I think it’s getting a little crowded in here.” He brushed past the woman, leaving Ace no choice but to grab his coat and follow him outside.

“I’m sorry about that,” Chris apologized, turning around on the empty sidewalk to look at Ace as the door banged closed behind him. In the faint glow of the streetlights, Ace could tell that Chris was irritated.

“That was _not_ your fault,” Ace assured him, pulling his jacket on. “She just couldn’t take a hint. Besides, she was already pissed at me because I turned her down earlier.”

Chris stared at him a second before he burst out laughing. “Bet she’s not used to that much rejection in one night. That had to hurt. I _almost_ feel bad for her now.”

“Hardly,” Ace grinned. “I don’t want to deflate your ego, but you were probably the only guy in there that she _hadn’t_ hit on yet.”

“Gee, thanks!” Chris laughed, leaning against the building and wiping at the tears that had formed in his eyes. “Am I that repulsive?”

“No! I didn’t…Of course you’re not,” Ace clarified, shaking his head, struggling to hold back his laughter and explain what he meant at the same time. “Dude, you know you’re hot,” Ace said, slapping a hand over his mouth the minute the words slipped out, wondering when his mouth had decided to act without consulting his brain first. “Fuck, I didn’t mean…”

“Ace,” Chris interrupted.

Reluctantly, Ace raised his eyes to look at him, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow him. “Yeah?”

Chris didn’t look angry or upset, only mildly amused. He cocked his head toward the bar, the noise from inside drifting out to them. Ace listened as the countdown grew louder and louder before erupting into a cheer. “Happy New Year,” Chris said softly, moving closer as the crowd inside began a loud, off-key version of “Auld Lang Syne.”

“Happy New Year,” Ace stammered, suddenly feeling very warm despite the ever dropping temperature outside. He wasn’t sure who moved first, maybe they acted simultaneously, but it didn’t matter because Chris’ lips were on his, his hands tangled in Ace’s hair, and his tongue pushing insistently against the seam of Ace’s mouth, seeking admittance that Ace was only too happy to grant. Ace clutched Chris’ shoulder with one hand, the other traveling up to stroke his face. It had been a long time since Ace had been kissed like this, and his body responded accordingly. One of Chris’ arms snaked around him, pulling Ace flush against him. Ace moaned as Chris sucked lightly on his lower lip, teasing it ever so gently with his teeth.

Suddenly, Chris wrenched away from him, struggling to breathe and looking slightly panicked. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have…I can’t do this. I’m sorry,” he repeated, backing away from Ace. His eyes were still clouded with lust, his lips swollen from their feverish kissing.

“Chris, it’s okay. I…” Ace started.

“No, I’m sorry. I just can’t,” Chris whispered, looking at him regretfully for a second before darting back into the bar.

Ace stood staring after him, dumbfounded, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. His mind was swirling, but none of it made sense. Chris had kissed him, _really_ kissed him, and then run away like he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. Ace pressed his hand to his forehead. He still didn’t know exactly what had happened, but he’d evidently fucked it up some way. “Damn it,” he muttered.

“Ace, you out here…Oh, there you are,” Ryan said, leaving the warmth of the bar behind him as he joined Ace on the sidewalk. “Chris came back in, and you didn’t so I…What’s wrong?”

Ace looked away. He didn’t want to deal with Ryan and all his questions right now. “I want to go home,” he said softly.

“But…I thought you and…What happened?” Ryan demanded.

Ace didn’t answer. He really wasn’t sure _what_ had happened, only that the sudden happiness he’d felt had been yanked away from him without any warning or explanation. “I want to go home,” he said again.

“Okay, fine. Let’s just go back in and find Bucky, and we’ll all leave,” Ryan said, trying to tug him towards the door.

“No, I don’t want to…I don’t want to go back in,” Ace said vehemently. He didn’t want to risk running into Chris right now. What he really wanted was to be alone, but he knew the minute he left, Ryan would corner Chris, expecting answers. And, although Ace needed answers, too, more than anything he wanted to keep Ryan out of it.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be right back, alright?” Ryan promised.

Ace nodded, watching his brother go back inside before sinking down onto the curb to wait for them. Resting his head on his knees, he cursed softly. He’d known going out tonight was a bad idea, but he hadn’t realized just how horrible this New Year’s Eve would turn out to be.


	4. Chapter 4

Chris paused with his hand hovering over the receiver. He hesitated a second, and then drew it back from the phone, sighing at his own cowardice and indecision. This little dance had been going on all morning, which wasn’t good since he was supposed to be working. Thankfully, business was slow today, and he’d finished his last instrument repair two hours ago. Normally, Chris loved his job, and not just because of the discount he got on all the stuff for the band, but today his heart simply wasn’t in it. Even the row upon row of sparkling new guitars couldn’t lift his spirits.

He tapped the edge of the business card against the counter, narrowing his eyes at it as if it were somehow to blame for his predicament. He noticed the card was starting to get worn around the edges, an indication of just how many times he’d pulled it out and stared at it since Deanna had given it to him.

Even before the debacle that was New Year’s Eve, Chris had let his mind wander to Ace, and now that he’d actually kissed him, he was finding it harder and harder to keep his thoughts from drifting to him. Chris knew he had probably trashed the possibility that they could even be friends after the way he’d behaved, but he still wanted to talk to Ace and at least _try_ to explain what had happened. Ace deserved that much.

Chris had relived those few brief moments outside the bar over and over again since it had occurred a couple of days ago. He hadn’t had any intention of that happening when they’d gone outside, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Ace had just looked so damn _kissable_ that night, standing outside, his cheeks flushed from the cold, only made worse by his embarrassment. Chris had gotten caught up in the moment, in the celebratory nature of the holiday, in the fact that Ace, who he’d been thinking about all week, had just called him hot. He felt his own cheeks heat up at the memory.

Chris sighed and glared at the telephone some more. Deanna had been sympathetic, if a little frustrated, when he told her what had happened, but her advice to call Ace and apologize hadn’t really gotten him anywhere yet. He was just so confused. He’d made up his mind not to get involved with anyone, but every time he thought about Ace, he couldn’t help remembering how right that kiss had felt. At least until he’d ruined everything.

Making up his mind, Chris reached for the phone, only to stop short, once again, as his nerves got the better of him.

“Man, what’s gotten into you today?” Chris looked up at his friend and co-worker. Elliott was leaning against the counter, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, obviously concerned. He looked down at the card, tilting his head as he tried to read it upside down. “Children’s Hospital? Is Abbey okay?”

“She’s fine,” Chris assured him quickly, stuffing the card back into his pocket. “Never been better.”

“I can’t say the same for you. What’s going on?” Elliott questioned.

“Have you ever done something really, really stupid and wished you could just rewind time and take it all back?” Chris asked, frowning at him.

Elliott cringed. “I thought we agreed never to bring up the ‘Birthday Incident’ again,” he reminded him, grinning as Chris chuckled at his response. “Tell me what happened. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”

Chris hesitated. Abbey had already told Elliott all about ‘Mr. Ace’ when he’d stopped by their apartment to drop off a Get Well/Belated Christmas present for her, but Chris had determinedly been pretending that he hadn’t given Ace a second thought, so he hadn’t added anything to her story. Elliott cleared his throat, looking at him expectantly.

“You remember the guy Abbey met at the hospital? Ace?” Elliott nodded, and Chris continued. “He was at Jake’s on New Year’s Eve, and…it’s kind of a long story, and I know you don’t want all the gory details, but…I sort of kissed him and then completely freaked out,” Chris said in a rush, his words tumbling over each other as they escaped. “And now I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay…this doesn’t sound that bad. Why’d you freak out?” Elliott asked, his steady tone helping to calm Chris’ nerves just a little. “Did he freak out?”

“No, he was great, I just…I’m worried about how it’ll affect Abbey. Kids are cruel, E. I don’t want her to have to deal with that,” Chris sighed. “It’s easier if I just don’t see anyone.”

“Easier for her or easier for you?” Elliott asked, looking at him meaningfully. “Look, consider Abbey. Protect her. But don’t hide behind her. If you see him a couple of times, no big deal. And if it does get serious…I know having the whole ‘daddy likes boys’ conversation is the last thing you want to do,” he shrugged, ‘but sooner or later, man.”

“You’re starting to sound like De,” Chris complained, knowing there was too much truth in what they were both saying to ignore it. Abbey was getting older, and more and more, she’d been asking him questions that he was having a hard time sidestepping.

“And what did she say you should do?” Elliott smirked.

“Apologize to Ace and try to start over,” Chris answered grudgingly. Which was exactly what he’d been trying to do all morning without success.

“Smart woman. You should listen to her,” Elliott nodded.

“Believe me, I wish I could. I’ve picked up the phone a million times, but I just can’t do it. He’d probably hang up on me anyway,” Chris sighed. “I made a complete _ass_ out of myself.” Chris buried his face in his hands.

“So don’t call him,” Elliott shrugged, looking at him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Huh?” Chris asked, glancing up at him confused. “I thought you were all for that? Didn’t you just tell me to…”

“I don’t think you should call him,” Elliott interrupted. “I think you should go see him. Do this face-to-face instead of over the phone.”

“Yeah?” Chris said, uncertainty creeping into his voice. “I guess I could…I’m not getting anywhere with the phone.” Chris glanced down at his watch. He still had almost an hour until his lunch break, not that he was sure he could make it to the hospital and back during lunch. It all depended on how quickly Ace kicked him out. “E, do you think you could…”

“Get outta here!” Elliott said, shooing him towards the door. “Go fix this!”

~*~*~*~

Chris stared at his reflection in the mirror. He’d already been at the hospital ten minutes. He’d parked almost as far from the hospital as he could, using the time it took him to reach the front doors to formulate what he was going to say. Once inside, he’d checked the directory board three times, even though he’d memorized the number of Ace’s office from his card, before ducking into the bathroom. He was trying to give himself a quick pep talk, but so far it wasn’t working. He was seriously considering just giving up and going back to work, and only the slight tug he felt at his heart when he thought about Ace was keeping him there.

“You’ve already screwed this up as bad as you possibly can. What do you have to lose?” he murmured to himself. He let out a slow breath, nodding to himself resolutely. “Just keep it short and be honest.”

The door swung closed behind him as he started down the hallway. He skimmed the numbers beside the doors, searching for Ace’s. He finally found it near the end of the hall, a plastic name plate assuring him that he had the right office. Chris hesitated outside the door, swallowing hard as he tried to gather the courage to knock.

“Are you here to see Ace?” asked a voice from behind him.

Chris turned to see a young woman, carrying a stack of folders, smiling up at him. The photo ID clipped to her shirt read “Paris”. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am,” he nodded.

“He should be in. If he’s not, he’ll be back in a few minutes,” she assured him, grinning before continuing down the hall.

“Thanks!” Chris called tentatively after her, turning back to the door and knocking before he could talk himself out of it.

“Come in!”

Chris braced himself, and slowly pushed the door open. Ace was sitting at his desk, eyes glued to the computer and his fingers flying over the keyboard. He glanced away from the screen for just a second to see who had entered his office. He froze, hands still poised over the keys, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” Chris said, moving fully into the room and closing the door behind him.

“Um, no. You’re not. I just…wasn’t expecting to see you,” Ace answered, truthfully. He saved the document he was working on and turned to look at Chris. “Please, sit down.”

Chris couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. So far this had gone pretty well. Ace hadn’t laughed in his face yet or asked him to leave at least. He sat down in one of the chairs across from Ace, fidgeting nervously as Ace watched him with curiosity.

“I…I wanted to apologize,” Chris said, stiltedly, looking at the edge of the desk rather than at Ace. “For the other night. You’ve been nothing but great to me _and_ Abbey, and I’m really sorry for the way I acted.” Chris raised his eyes uncertainly to met Ace’s.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Ace shrugged.

“It didn’t have anything to do with you. I just…” Chris trailed off. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

“I understand the situation you’re in. It can’t be easy, and I don’t hold that against you,” Ace said at last after staring at him quietly for a couple of minutes.

“Do you think we could start over? Maybe grab some lunch and just talk?” Chris asked, hoping that Ace would say yes, but feeling a nervousness in the pit of his stomach that all of this had been too easy.

“I can’t,” Ace said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”

Chris nodded, trying not to let Ace see how disappointed he was. He’d really been expecting a miracle, hadn’t he? His life was too complicated, and he came with too much baggage for anyone to want to get involved with him. Chris stood up, turning toward the door. “I understand. I don’t blame you. I…I won’t bother you again,” he said quickly.

“Chris!” Ace called, pushing his chair back suddenly and standing up. “Wait!”

Chris stopped and reluctantly faced him. He really wished Ace would just let him leave without making this into a big scene. He felt stupid enough as it was. “Yeah?”

“I really _can’t_ ,” Ace said, softening his words with a smile this time. “I have a meeting this afternoon, and I’m working through lunch to get ready for it, but…I’d really like that, you know, some other time.”

“Oh,” Chris said, feeling incredibly embarrassed by the misunderstanding. “I guess I thought…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ace interrupted.

“I should probably be going and let you get back to work, but, um…I’ll give you a call?” Chris suggested, still unable to believe that Ace was really willing to give him a second chance, to let him attempt to right his mistakes from before.

“That’d be great,” Ace grinned.

“Okay, then…I’ll see you later,” Chris nodded, unable to fight the smile that had been tugging at his lips any longer. “Bye,” he said, reaching for the door.

“Chris?” Ace called. Chris half turned to look at him, his hand still on the door handle. He was slightly overwhelmed by how happy Ace looked. “I’m really glad you came by today,” he said softly, glancing away as he spoke, but finally looking back at him.

“So am I,” Chris answered.


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan leaned against the doorframe leading into Ace’s bedroom, frowning as he watched his brother continue to rifle through his closet just like he’d been doing for the past fifteen minutes. Ace could feel his eyes on him, disapproving of every step he took as he got ready to meet Chris for lunch.

It had been three days since Chris had shown up at the hospital, and even though he didn’t want to admit it, Ace had been waiting for him to call ever since. He’d finally phoned Friday, and they’d agreed to meet at a small diner they were both familiar with Saturday afternoon. And if Ace didn’t leave soon, he was going to be late.

Ace scrutinized the t-shirt he was holding, his nose wrinkling slightly as he threw it onto the bed with the rest of the shirts he’d rejected. He pulled another shirt out, trying to ignore Ryan as he cleared his throat. Ryan tried again, and Ace reluctantly turned to look at him.

“ _What_?” Ace demanded, wishing just this once that Ryan would mind his own business.

“I just don’t understand why you want to see this guy,” Ryan shrugged. “He’s a jerk.”

“I told you he apologized. He’s not like that, Ry. Really he’s not,” Ace said, trying to convince his brother. “Besides, he just wants to talk.”

“He upset you. You were practically crying,” Ryan reminded him.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Ace exclaimed, finally losing his patience with his brother and throwing the balled up t-shirt at him. “I did not _cry_! I don’t know where you even got that from!”

Ryan caught the shirt easily, tossing it onto the bed before he spoke. “Ace, I only…” Ryan started before Ace cut him off.

“No. I appreciate your concern, but this is really none of your business. So drop it. I don’t care if you don’t like Chris,” Ace told him bluntly. He settled on a shirt, pulling it over his head roughly as he turned his back on Ryan.

Ace was sure he was still glaring at him, but he simply didn’t care anymore. Ryan had not let up ever since he’d seen Chris the other day. Ace had come home that night, beaming, and Ryan had immediately guessed that something had happened. But instead of being happy for him, like Ace had expected, he’d shook his head and warned him not to get his hopes up.

Ace wasn’t stupid. He knew that Chris clearly had a lot of issues that he had to deal with, but right now they were just friends and there was no reason to rush anything. He genuinely liked Chris and wanted to get to know him better, even if it never went any further than that.

Ace grabbed his keys and cell phone off his dresser and checked his pocket to make sure he had his wallet. A quick glance in the mirror, and he snatched his coat up from where he’d thrown it across the bed before brushing past Ryan and into the living room.

“Ace, will you just…”

“I’ll see you later!” Ace called, slamming the door behind him and muffling the rest of Ryan’s sentence. He took the stairs down hoping to burn off some of his anger before he saw Chris again. Most of the time, Ace liked having older brothers to look out for him, but right now he was so annoyed with Ryan that he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. He pushed the outer door open, harder than necessary, wincing as he heard a high-pitched shriek from the other side.

“Watch where you’re…Oh, it’s just you!” grinned his neighbor, Kellie, kneeling down to pick up the bag she’d dropped. Ace joined her, apologizing as he stuffed the items that had fallen out back into the plastic bag. “Thanks,” she said, standing up and taking the bag from him. Her smile faltered as she took in the expression on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Ryan and I had a fight. It’s no big deal,” Ace shrugged, scuffing at a stain on the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe.

“Aw, you boys’ll make up,” she told him confidently. “You always do.”

Ace nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure we will. Anyway, I’m running late. I’ve got to go.”

“Oh, don’t let me hold you up,” Kellie said. “Thanks. Such a gentleman,” she winked playfully as he held the door open for her. “I’ll see you later!”

“Later!” Ace called as she started up the stairs. He let the door shut behind her and jogged over to his car, climbing in quickly to escape the cold. Ace glanced at his watch as the engine purred to life. If he hit traffic, he’d never make it in time now. He rubbed his hands together and turned the heat up a notch before pulling out of the parking lot.

As Ace drove, his mind drifted to the handful of encounters he’d had with Chris. He really didn’t know that much about him, except that he was a great musician and an even more amazing father. And even though a small, rational voice in the back of his mind insisted that Ryan had a point, Ace steadfastly ignored it. He liked Chris, and he adored Abbey, and, if it was what Chris wanted, Ace was willing to see where this might go.

Traffic was light, and before Ace knew it, he was parked on the side of the building, relieved that he was only a few minutes late as he climbed out of the car and made his way around to the door. He looked around as the bell overhead jingled, and a waitress magically appeared out of nowhere to seat him.

“I’m meeting someone,” Ace explained, finally spotting Chris in a booth on the other side of the restaurant. The waitress nodded, disappearing back behind the counter as Ace made his way over to Chris.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” Ace apologized, taking his coat off and sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hey! I just got here, so…” Chris shrugged, trailing off awkwardly. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Well, I’m glad you called,” Ace answered. “I was kind of surprised though. I thought you’d be busy with Abbey on the weekend.”

“Deanna took her for a Girl’s Day…thing,” Chris grinned, looking a little mystified as to what that might actually entail. “I honestly have no idea what they’re doing.”

Ace laughed. “I always felt bad for my mom because she got stuck with five boys and didn’t have a daughter to dress up in frilly dresses and bows and do all that girl stuff with. But she’s got granddaughters now. She’s in heaven.”

“Five, huh?” Chris asked, raising his eyebrows. “That must have been…”

“Crazy,” Ace finished, “but I’m the youngest, so I loved it. What about you? Any siblings?”

“Just a brother. We’re close, but we’re both so busy that I don’t get to see him a lot.”

Ace nodded. “I live with Ryan, and sometimes it feels like I never see him,” Ace answered, having to bite his tongue to keep from adding that at other times he saw him more than he wanted to. “I guess I’ve always looked up to them,” he said instead, not missing the irony of the comment.

“And they’re all…I mean, they’re okay with you…”

“What? Being gay?” Ace asked casually. “Yeah. I know it’s not as interesting as having some dramatic coming out story, but their reaction was seriously like, ‘Yeah, we figured. Could you please pass the mashed potatoes?’ It just wasn’t a big deal,” Ace shrugged.

“You’re lucky,” Chris told him. “Family’s really important.”

“I’m guessing yours _didn’t_ take it so well?” Ace said cautiously, not wanting to push Chris to talk about anything he didn’t want to.

Chris started to answer when their waitress appeared. Ace looked down guiltily at the still closed menu laying on the table in front of him. He scanned it quickly before ordering the soup of the day and a club sandwich.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Chris said, handing his menu back to the waitress.

“Be right up,” she smiled, tearing their order of the pad and heading back to the counter.

Chris looked down at the table for a minute. The silence dragged on, and Ace was trying to come up with something to say when Chris finally spoke. “My family’s kind of…complicated,” he said at last.

“Meaning…they don’t know?” Ace guessed, not sure if he was right, but having a pretty good feeling that he was. He had friends in the same situation, and it really didn’t surprise him that much, although he did find it sad.

“Something like that,” Chris nodded ruefully. “My brother does, and he’s cool, but not my parents. It’s just…somewhere between telling my mom that, not only had I gotten a girl pregnant, which she was not happy about, but that I also had no intention of marrying her…It didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up.”

Ace wanted to ask about Abbey’s mom, something that he’d been thinking about a lot, but the uncomfortable look on Chris’ face stopped him. There would be plenty of time to get the details later, he reasoned. “So…things are tense with them?”

“Yes and no,” Chris shrugged. “They’re my parents, and I love them. And they adore Abbey, but I still can’t help but feel like I’ve disappointed them somehow. I just don’t know if I could take the looks on their faces if I told them. Trust me, my mom’s not going to run down and join the local PFLAG.”

Ace tried to stifle a laugh because Chris was being serious, and Ace didn’t want him to think that he was laughing at him when nothing could be further from the truth. “I’m sorry. I’m not…”

“Oh, don’t tell me,” Chris said in disbelief, amusement flashing in his eyes.

“She was even president for a year,” Ace admitted, shaking his head and grinning. “What can I say? That’s my mom.”

He knew he was lucky that his family had been so supportive, and hearing Chris’ story made him feel doubly blessed. He was even starting to regret snapping at Ryan this morning. After all, he was only trying to look out for him.

“She sounds great,” Chris said, looking up as the waitress appeared with their food. “Thanks,” Chris said as she sat the plates down in front of them.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked.

Ace looked at Chris, who shook his head. “No, I think we’re good.”

As they began to eat, the conversation drifted to safer topics like work, favorite music, and the latest movies they’d seen, with Chris throwing in the occasional cute anecdote about Abbey. Soon, their plates were empty, but Ace found himself unwilling to leave. The waitress had already asked them twice if they were _sure_ they didn’t want any dessert or coffee by the time Chris looked at his watch and sighed.

“De’s dropping Abbey off soon. I guess I need to go,” he said reluctantly.

“Has it really been that long?” Ace said, surprised as he checked the time. “I feel like I just got here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Chris answered. “Um…” he hesitated, seemingly trying to decide whether to continue or not. “I know you’re probably busy tomorrow or you have something better to do, or whatever, but I’m taking Abbey to the park in the afternoon, if it’s warm enough. I know she’d like to see you again, and…”

“I’d love to,” Ace interrupted, feeling his heart jump slightly at the prospect of seeing Chris again so soon. “Just tell me when and where.”

“Yeah?” Chris smiled. “I don’t know what time yet, but I’ll call and let you know.”

“Great,” Ace beamed. He was feeling much better than when he’d left the apartment. Ace had known he was right about Chris, and he was really glad he hadn’t paid any attention to Ryan. Ever since that first day in the hospital, Ace had felt that Chris was someone he needed to get to know better. And he was looking forward to doing just that.


	6. Chapter 6

“Can we go? Can we go? Can we _go_?” Abbey pleaded over and over, tugging on Chris’ sweatshirt until he finally glanced down at her.

“Abbey, I’m on the phone,” he said sternly, covering it with his hand for a second. “Go get your coat, and we’ll be ready to go in just a minute.” Chris watched as she disappeared into her room before returning to his call. “Sorry, Ace. So do you know where that is?”

“She sounds excited,” Ace laughed. “And, yeah, I do.”

“Great. We’ll see you there then,” Chris answered. They said goodbye, and he hung the phone up, going to look for his daughter. Abbey was standing in the center of her room trying to zip her coat by herself. He waited, giving her a chance to get it before he stepped in. “Need some help?” he asked, kneeling down in front of her and fumbling with the tiny zipper a little before he got it to work. “There you go.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” Abbey grinned, hugging him tightly.

Chris let her hold on for just a minute before pulling back and fixing her with a firm look. “Abbey, you know it’s not nice to interrupt someone when they’re on the telephone.” She looked appropriately remorseful as she murmured an apology. “It’s okay,” he said, softening under her big brown eyes, “but we need to talk for second before we leave.”

“Is something wrong?” Abbey asked, chewing nervously on her thumbnail as she looked at him.

Chris shook his head. “No, not at all. Come here,” he said, moving to sit on the edge of her bed and lifting Abbey up onto his lap. “I was talking to Mr. Ace on the phone, and he’d really like to go to the park with us today. Is that okay?”

“Sure!” Abbey agreed enthusiastically, much to Chris’ relief, but then her smile faltered, and she looked confused. “But…why?”

“Why does he want to go with us?” Chris asked. When Abbey nodded, he continued. “Well, first of all, he wants to see you,” he said, tickling her lightly and making her giggle. “And, um…” Chris hesitated, struggling over how to best explain this to Abbey. “Mr. Ace and I are friends, and we want to spend time together just like you like to spend time with your friends.”

“Oh, okay. Does that mean I’m going to see Mr. Ace a lot?” Abbey asked, tilting her head up to look at him. “Like Aunt De and Elliott?”

“Maybe,” Chris answered, brushing a loose curl away from her face. “Would you like that?”

Abbey nodded without even thinking about it. “He’s really nice.”

“I think so, too, princess,” Chris said, smiling at how quickly Abbey had gotten attached to Ace. Although, truthfully, so had he. Chris wasn’t sure what had led him to invite Ace on their outing today, but the thought of leaving the diner without any concrete plans to see him again had been unbearable. He didn’t want to think too hard about what that meant. “Okay. Are you ready to go?” he asked, letting Abbey scramble down from his lap.

“Yep! Come on, Daddy,” she called already half-way into the other room. Chris smiled to himself, shaking his head as he followed her out.

~*~*~*~

“Abbey, let’s stay off the monkey bars, okay?” Chris said, picking her up and moving her away from it. “Your scars aren’t completely healed yet, pumpkin. I don’t want you to fall.”

“They don’t hurt anymore,” Abbey complained, looking longingly at the kids on the metal bars.

“And I want to keep it that way,” Chris answered, putting her back on the ground as she squirmed in his arms. “Want me to push you on the swing?”

Abbey shook her head. “I can do it by myself,” she said. Chris watched as she ran to one of the empty swings. They were a little high off the ground, and he had to fight the urge to go help her before she finally managed to climb onto the plastic seat. The independent streak Abbey had developed since starting kindergarten had been difficult to adjust to at first, and he still had some problems with it, but his little girl was growing up and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Man, I miss that,” said an amused voice beside him. Chris turned to find Ace grinning at him. He nodded at the swings. “I always liked the swings the best, but Ryan always wanted to go on the slide, so…” he shrugged wistfully.

Chris laughed. “Don’t tell Abbey, but I loved the monkey bars,” Chris said.

“Have you guys been here long?” Ace asked, following Chris over to a bench a few feet from the swings where they still had a clear view of Abbey.

“About ten minutes,” Chris said. “Abbey was really excited that you were going to be here,” he told him, glancing at him quickly before looking back at the playground.

“How’d you explain that to her?” Ace questioned, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“I just told her the truth - that we’re friends. She was really happy to see you again,” Chris told him.

“Me, too,” Ace said, touching his shoulder lightly for just a second before drawing his hand back. It might have been just a simple touch to the casual observer, but to Chris it was almost as good as being back in front of Jake’s on New Year’s Eve. He pushed all those memories to the back of his mind as Abbey came running over to say hi to Ace.

“Hey, Abbey. How’s my favorite former patient?” Ace asked, smiling at Chris when she giggled.

“I’m okay,” she said, “but Daddy still won’t let me play on the monkey bars. He’s afraid I’ll get hurt.”

Chris frowned at her, opening his mouth to respond, but Ace cut him off. “So he’s being a good dad, right? Not wanting you to get hurt? I fell off the monkey bars when I was about your age, and I knocked a tooth out,” Ace said, opening his mouth and tapping it with his finger. “It _really_ hurt, and I had a big gap there for a really long time waiting for the other one to grow in.”

“Like this!” Abbey said, grinning at him widely to reveal a missing tooth on the bottom row. “The Tooth Fairy left me a dollar for it,” she said proudly.

Chris watched the exchange, amused, but also marveling at how well Ace and Abbey got along. The hardest part of dating for him had always been finding someone who wouldn’t run away as soon as they found out about his daughter, which was a large part of the reason he’d sworn it off. But as he looked at them, he thought that maybe the problem had been that he’d just never met the right person. It had to be intimidating to get involved with someone with children, but Ace was handling it with grace and ease. It startled Chris to realize he was already thinking of them as ‘involved.’ He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Right now he just wanted the chance to get to know Ace without all the added pressure that brought. He cleared his throat causing both of them to look at him questioningly.

“Um…what do you say we walk over to the coffee shop and get some hot chocolate?” Chris asked, standing up and nodding across the road.

“Ohhhh! Can we, Daddy?” Abbey said, bouncing where she was standing. “And a cookie?”

“And a cookie,” Chris laughed, taking her hand as the three of them started toward the street. They paused as they reached the curb, and Abbey looked up at Ace, reaching her hand out to him. “We have to hold hands when we cross the street.”

“Oh, of course,” Ace grinned, his eyes locking briefly with Chris’ as she slipped her tiny, gloved hand into his. Despite his doubts and reservations, as they made their way across the street, Chris was really glad that he’d invited Ace along today.

~*~*~*~

Chris yawned as he dried his hands on a dish towel, the last of their dinner dishes freshly washed and stacked in the drainer. The excursion to the park that afternoon had worn him out more than he realized, but Abbey had had a great time. She’d finally relented, letting him and Ace take turns pushing her on the swing when they’d returned to the park. Chris shoved the images away, forcing himself not to think about Ace right now.

“Okay, Daddy. I brushed my teeth. Ready to tuck me in?” Abbey asked, padding into the kitchen in her favorite Strawberry Shortcake pajamas, with Wilbur clutched tightly under one arm. Chris yawned again as he nodded. “I think you should go to sleep, too,” Abbey said.

“You do, do you?” Chris grinned, picking her up and toting her to her room, where he plopped her down on the bed. He turned on the bedside lamp and switched off the overhead light. “I think you’re probably right. So what’ll it be tonight? Do you want a story or a song?” he asked, as she snuggled deep beneath the covers, hugging her pillow tightly.

“Um…a song,” she said finally. “Will you sing my song?”

“Your song? I don’t know if I remember which one that is,” Chris teased, settling onto the bed beside her.

“Daddy! You know which one!” she admonished, raising her head slightly to look at him.

“Oh, _that_ song. Okay,” Chris nodded. He hummed softly, lulling her closer to sleep. The words came easily, after all, he’d been singing the song to her since she was a baby. “ _The flowers have the early April rain. Believers have what they have never seen. And the dreamers have tomorrow if today does not come true. You have eyes that shine…and I have you._ ”

Chris bit his lip as he realized that, even half-asleep, Abbey was mouthing the words along with him. He sang the chorus a couple of more time until he was satisfied that she was asleep. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple, then pulled the blanket tighter around her before cutting off the lamp. The nightlight in the corner cast a faint glow over the room, and Chris stood in the doorway watching her sleep for a couple of minutes. As quietly as he could, he closed the door behind him. Grabbing the phone, he sank down on the couch, his finger dialing the already familiar number without even thinking about it. It rang a couple of times before he heard the tell-tale click of it being answered.

“Hello?”

“Ace?” he asked uncertainly, not sure if he or Ryan had answered the phone.

“Just a minute,” Ryan said, shortly. “Ace!” There were some muffled words that Chris couldn’t quiet make out, and then Ace came on the line. “Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Chris. I just…” Chris trailed off as he realized he didn’t really know why he had called. He’d been telling himself all evening that things were moving too fast, but he just couldn’t fight whatever it was that was drawing him to Ace. He’d wanted to hear Ace’s voice again and tell him how much today had meant to Abbey, but he suddenly found himself at a loss for words. “I just wanted to call. I don’t really have a reason,” he admitted honestly.

“You don’t need one,” Ace answered, and Chris could practically see his smile across the telephone line. “I had a really good time today. Thanks for including me,” Ace said.

“Me, too, and Abbey hasn’t stopped talking about you since we left,” Chris told him, grinning at the memory of her telling him she was happy he had a new friend, and even happier that it was Mr. Ace. “You’re really great with her.”

“Well, she’s fantastic, like her dad,” Ace was silent for a second, and Chris recognized the hesitation for what it was - fear that he’d overstepped the invisible boundary still separating them. “I know things are complicated with Abbey and your family and everything, but…I just want you to know, I’m willing to give you as much time and space as you need, okay? There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

As relieved as Chris was to hear the words, they also forced him to think about things he wasn’t sure he wanted to yet. He had been avoiding, almost painfully avoiding, trying to define his burgeoning relationship with Ace and the reassurance just added another level to his confusion. “Um, thank you,” he said softly, not sure exactly what to say to that.

“So…”Ace dragged out the word, changing the subject and trying to lighten the mood. “Taking back everything I just said about rushing you, I was kind of hoping I could see you again later this week.”

“Uh, yeah. That’d be great,” Chris said, his sentence muffled at the end by a yawn. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I’d like that.”

“You sound exhausted,” Ace laughed. “I should let you go.”

“I called you,” Chris reminded him. “But, yeah, I should probably go,” he said reluctantly, not really wanting to hang up. As nervous as he was thinking about where this thing with Ace might go, he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed his company and wanted to see him again. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Absolutely,” Ace affirmed. “Good night.”

“Night,” Chris answered, ending the call. He sat there staring at the phone for a minute as he replayed his conversation with Ace. A small smile began to form on his lips. He let out a slow breath, pushing all his fears and doubts to the back of his mind. He’d have to think about all of that later, but not tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

“Mom?” Ace called, closing the door behind him. He shrugged his coat off and dropped it on the couch as he tried again. “Mom, are you here?”

“In the kitchen!”

Ace grinned, winding his way through the living room to the kitchen. “Hey,” he said, coming up behind her and kissing her on the cheek before glancing at the cookbook she was studying. “Cookies, huh? What’s the occasion?”

“Your dad and I are watching the kids for Josh tonight, and I thought it might be nice to have some fresh baked cookies. So, what brings you by?” she asked, looking up at him as she measured out a cup of flour.

“I can’t just stop by to see you?” he asked, stealing a handful of chocolate chips from the bag on the counter. Kay gave him her patented ‘mom look,’ hiding a smile as she dropped a teaspoonful of baking soda into the mix.

“There’s nothing you want to tell me then?” she said, pushing the bowl towards Ace for him to stir.

Between the questioning and the cookies, Ace felt as if he were seven again. Frowning, he concentrated on mixing the dough, trying to figure out what she could be talking about. He finally gave up. “Okay, what am I supposed to have told you?” he asked, sliding the bowl back to her.

“Ryan says you’re seeing someone,” she said casually, not looking at him while she added the chocolate chips.

Ace sighed, silently cursing his brother. “Sort of,” he admitted. “Look, whatever Ryan told you, don’t believe him. He just doesn’t like Chris.”

“Chris?” she asked, finally turning to look at him, grinning. “How did you two meet?”

The absolute last person Ace wanted to be discussing his love life with was his mother. But the truth was he could use some advice, or at least some reassurance, and this wasn’t the kind of thing any of his friends had the slightest experience with. “We met at the hospital.”

“A doctor?” she asked. “Is it a good idea to date someone you work with? That could get awkward if…”

“He doesn’t work there,” Ace interrupted. He didn’t really want to tell his mom about Abbey just yet, afraid that she would tell him he was getting in over his head, but in all honesty, he couldn’t say for sure that he wasn’t. “He was at the hospital with his daughter.”

“His…oh. Well…that complicates things,” Kay said, leaning against the counter as she looked at him. “How old is she?”

“Five. Her name’s Abbey,” Ace answered, his eyes glued to the floor. He finally looked up when she reached out and nudged his chin up with a finger. “I really like him, Mom.”

“Oh, honey. I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. A child is a _huge_ responsibility, Ace. Every decision you make, every thing you do revolves around them. This won’t be easy for any of you, but…you don’t really want to hear that right now, do you?” she said. Ace could tell that she wasn’t thrilled about this, but was willing to let it go, at least for now. “Alright, tell me more. What’s he like?”

“Can we talk about this later? I actually stopped by to get your lasagna recipe,” he admitted, blushing when she laughed at him.

“You’re cooking? Oh, this is serious,” she teased, but when she spoke again her voice was more concerned than playful. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will,” he whispered, hugging her tightly. “Thanks, Mom.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

~*~*~*~

“I had no idea you were such a good cook,” Chris commented with a grin, sitting the mug of coffee Ace handed him onto the table in front of the couch.

“I’m really hit or miss,” Ace shrugged, leaving out the fact that he’d spent nearly an hour on the phone with his mom while she’d talked him through the differences between tomato sauce, tomato paste, and tomato essence, and that, fifteen minutes before Chris showed up, he’d considered chucking the whole thing and ordering a pizza. “It could have been completely inedible.”

“I doubt that,” Chris said, toying nervously with the watch on his wrist. “Hot dogs and spaghetti are about the best I can do. Pancakes if I’m feeling lucky. You don’t really develop great culinary skills cooking for a five-year-old, even one as picky as Abbey.”

“She was excited about staying with your parents tonight?” Ace asked, peering at Chris over the edge of his coffee cup. Chris had seemed a little on edge and jumpy tonight, at least when he first got there. He’d relaxed a bit after awhile, but Ace was still trying to keep the conversation neutral and his foot out of his mouth, where it was so prone to end up lately.

“Yeah,” Chris laughed. “She’s only been in school six months, and she’s already excited about teacher in-service days. She learns fast. It doesn’t hurt that Dad’s taking her to the aquarium tomorrow.”

“She’ll enjoy that,” Ace nodded. It had been much easier to keep the conversation going while they were still eating, but now the lull was glaringly obvious. And it wasn’t helping that the only thing Ace could think about was that this was the first time since New Year’s that they’d been completely alone. He felt his cheeks redden as he remembered the way Chris’ lips had touched his, the way his hands had tangled in his hair. Ace swallowed hard and looked away.

“Are you okay?” Chris asked suddenly, frowning at him. His hand rested on Ace’s shoulder as he peered at him. “Feel alright?” Ace nodded, trying to offer him a reassuring smile, but his resolve faltered as Chris continued to look at him with a mixture of concern and something he couldn’t quite identify. He pulled his hand back slowly, looking embarrassed. “Are you sure?”

“I’m fine, I…I’m fine. I promise I’m not sick,” Ace smiled. He tried to ignore how close they were, the way their knees bumped together slightly, the subtle hint of Chris’ cologne, both intoxicating and enticing, but he didn’t think he was doing a very good job.

“Good,” Chris said huskily. His expression was unreadable, but in his eyes, Ace could see the yearning and doubt and fear, mixed together as he struggled through the conflicting emotions. Chris leaned in slightly, hesitating as he seemed to rethink what he was about to do. Ace remained motionless, trying to give him a reassuring look, but sticking to his promise not to rush him and let Chris take this at his own pace. Finally, Chris closed the distance between them, capturing Ace’s lips in a kiss that, while not as fiery and passionate as the one they’d shared before, still made Ace shiver at the contact.

Cautiously, he trailed his hand up Chris’ arm, letting it rest just above his elbow, his fingers gently skimming the skin beneath the edge of his shirt sleeve. Ace sighed with relief as Chris relaxed into him, deepening the kiss and shifting closer to him on the couch. Still, he held back, giving Chris complete control of the situation. The last thing he wanted to do was scare him off again, like last time.

Chris pulled back to look at him, a smile playing on his mouth. “I’ve wanted to do that for two weeks,” he admitted, laughing as he brushed his lips against Ace’s again. Just as he touched the side of Ace’s neck, his fingers raking lightly through his hair, his cell phone rang, playing a tune that Ace didn’t recognize. Chris sat forward, cursing quietly as he grabbed the phone from where he’d laid it on the coffee table. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “but it could be Abbey.”

“No, I understand,” Ace said, shaking his head.

“Hello? Hi, Mom…Yeah…Let me talk to her,” he said at last. He mouthed “sorry” at Ace again as, apparently, his mother passed the phone to Abbey. “What’s wrong, princess?” Chris listened while Abbey explained whatever the problem was, and Ace took the opportunity to just watch him. It was obvious how much he loved his daughter. He was patient, listening to her in earnest, nodding along to what she was saying. “I know it was scary, Ab, but it was just a dream, okay? I bet if you went back to bed, you could talk Grandma into reading you another story. And then tomorrow, when you wake up, Grandpa’s going to take you to the aquarium, and you are going to have so much fun. Yes, I’ll call you first thing in the morning… I’m fine, don’t worry about me… I love you, too. Goodnight, princess.”

Chris ended the call, placing the phone back on the table. He sighed, cutting his eyes in Ace’s direction “Um…I think we should talk,” he said to Ace, cringing at the cliché and rubbing a hand over his face.

“Okay,” Ace nodded, worried by the sudden change in Chris’ demeanor. It wasn’t anything obvious, but there was a tension in his face that hadn’t been there before.

“Look, I want to be completely upfront with you because you deserve that. You have been so patient and understanding and…I like you. Obviously,” he added wryly. “But…I have to think about Abbey, and if you and I…if we do this, it’s going to turn her world upside down.” Chris held up a hand as Ace started to interrupt. “Please, just let me finish. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see where this might lead, all I’m saying is that I need time to think about how this is going to affect my daughter.”

“Chris, I’ve already told you to take all the time you need,” Ace said, not sure what else he could say to assure him that he meant every word he said.

“I know. I just…I need you to know that this isn’t easy for me, and I know that I come with a lot of complications. I guess…I guess I’m saying I wouldn’t blame you if you ran as far away in the opposite direction as you can,” Chris said, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “I’m asking a lot from you, and if I were in your place, it would scare the _hell_ out of me. If this is more than you bargained for, I… I’d rather know now than six months from now, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I’m scared,” Ace answered honestly. He looked down to where Chris was nervously tapping a finger against his knee, stilling him as he covered it with his hand. “I’d be crazy if I weren’t. I can’t make any promises on where we’ll be six months from now, or even six weeks from now, but we’ll never know if we don’t try, right? So take your time. Do what’s best for Abbey, but have a little faith in me, okay? I’m not going to run away.”

Chris nodded. “Okay…okay. I can do that. I can try at least,” he admitted, smiling faintly.

“That’s all I can ask for,” Ace replied. He felt relieved that they had talked about this and finally gotten everything out in the open. At least now he knew where things stood with Chris and knew that they were both on the same page. Now all he could do was hope that when Chris reached a decision, it would include him.

Chris was silent for a minute. “Well…I really know how to kill a mood, don’t I?” he said seriously before cracking a smile and grinning. “I’m just joking,” he interjected when Ace started to object, “…sort of.”

Ace brushed his lips against Chris’, letting the kiss linger for just a moment, then pulled back. He blushed under the questioning stare Chris leveled at him. “What?” he mumbled, looking down to where his hand still covered Chris’, slowly withdrawing it.

“I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong with you,” Chris answered thoughtfully. “You’re too good to be true.”

Ace laughed, raising his eyebrows skeptically. “So what did you come up with?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Chris said softly, shaking his head. “Absolutely nothing.”

Ace didn’t know how to answer that. Biting back a smile, he glanced at the floor, feeling his cheeks redden even further.

“Um, okay. I should probably go,” Chris said. Reluctantly, Ace followed him as he gathered his phone and keys and stood up. “I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for inviting me,” Chris told him, hesitating as he reached the door.

“So did I,” Ace answered, wishing he could ask Chris to stay, but knowing it was much too soon for that.

“Well, uh…” he paused just a second, then pressed one more quick kiss to Ace’s lips. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Ace grinned. At the end of the hall, Chris glanced back at him over his shoulder. He looked surprised to see Ace still standing there, and he offered him a small wave and a quick smile before he disappeared around the corner. Finally, and beaming ear-to-ear, Ace closed the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chris glanced at his watch, speeding up as he finished writing out the repair receipt and tied it around the handle on the guitar case. Abbey’s bus would be dropping her off soon, and he had to be out front waiting for her. He grabbed the case, going to put it under the counter with the rest of the instruments waiting to be picked up. He heard muffled voices coming from the front as he pushed the door opened.

“Yeah, he’s in the…You must be Ace,” Elliott said, causing Chris’ head to snap up. Ace noticed him first, and Elliott turned to follow his gaze. He looked back and forth between them for a second, smirking. “Um, I’m sure there’s… _something_ I need to do in the back,” Elliott grinned, giving Chris a slight shove toward the counter since he was still frozen in the doorway. Chris shot him a dirty look as he stumbled forward.

“Hey,” Chris smiled, stashing the guitar where it belonged. He hadn’t seen or talked to Ace since dinner Thursday night, despite picking up the phone a dozen times to call him, and as he watched him standing there, he realized that he’d missed him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was dropping some stuff off at the dry cleaners across the street. I just thought I’d stop in for minute,” Ace said as Chris joined him on the other side of the counter. “I hope that’s okay.”

“No, it’s fine. I was going to wait for Abbey’s bus. You want to wait with me?” Chris asked.

Ace smiled and nodded. “Sure, I’d like to see her again,” he answered. As they started toward the front, Ace paused by a new piano they’d gotten in on Friday. “That’s really nice,” he said appreciatively, running his hand over the top of it. “Can I?” he asked suddenly, motioning to it.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Chris told him. “I didn’t even know you played.”

“Just a little,” Ace said humbly, sliding onto the bench and letting his fingers rest gently on the keys. Chris looked on in surprise as Ace began to play. His hands moved quickly and confidently, the sound filling the otherwise quiet store. He played a few bars before he stopped, glancing up shyly at Chris. “I guess those piano lessons when I was a kid paid off after all,” he grinned.

“You’re really good,” Chris said, impressed. “Why didn’t you tell me you could play like that?”

Ace shrugged. “I guess I just didn’t think about it. I don’t really play a lot,” he explained. He stood up, pulling the lid over the keys closed. “Come on. I don’t want to make you late to meet Abbey.”

By the time they made it to the sidewalk out front, the bus was just pulling away from its previous stop. Chris and Ace waited on the curb as Abbey clamored off the bus, followed by a couple of older kids

“Hi, Daddy! Hi, Mr. Ace!” she exclaimed when she saw them, running around the front of the bus to them. “Look what I drew in school today!”

“Hey, hey, hey, no running,” Chris reminded her, stepping down onto the road to catch her. Taking her hand, he led her back to the sidewalk. “What have you got there?” he asked, nodding at the piece of paper she was waving around.

“We had to draw pictures, and I drew you and me and Mr. Ace at the park,” Abbey said, proudly, holding it up for both of them to see. Chris grinned at the two stick figures he guessed to be him and Ace, and couldn’t help but notice that Abbey had included the forbidden monkey bars in her drawing. He caught Ace’s eye, sharing a look with him that went unnoticed by Abbey as she rattled on about all the things in the picture.

“Good work, princess. I’ll have to put that on the fridge when we get home,” Chris told her. “Anything else happen today?” Abbey seemed to almost bounce as she walked beside him, clutching his hand, but she suddenly stopped to look up at him as they neared the building.

“Kirsten’s mommy is getting married. She’s going to be the flower girl and have a pretty dress and everything!” Abbey said excitedly. “If you get married, can I be the flower girl? Please?”

Chris swallowed hard, forcing a smile for his daughter. “Of course you can,” he promised, his heart aching just a little as she beamed at him. How was he ever going to tell her that that was never going to happen? At least not how she had it planned. “Princess, I need to talk to Ace just a minute. Why don’t you go show Elliott your picture? And,” he leaned over to wink at her conspiratorially, “I think there’s a bag of M&Ms behind the counter.”

“Okay. Bye, Mr. Ace!” she called as Chris held the door open for her.

“Bye!” Ace answered, fixing Chris with a concerned look once the door had closed. “You want to talk about that?” he asked.

“What am I supposed to say?” Chris scoffed. “I don’t know what to do. How do I even begin to explain this to her? I always said, you know, when she was older, I’d sit her down and explain everything to her, but…Now she’s old enough to sort of understand, and I still don’t have a clue how to do this.”

“Look, I can’t even imagine what this is like for you, but Abbey adores you. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to tell her, but however you do it, _if_ you decide to, will be okay. She knows how much you love her and that you only want what’s best for her,” Ace said.

Chris looked at the ground, but he nodded. “Yeah, I know. Um, I should probably go rescue Elliott,” Chris said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder toward the door. “But I’ll talk to you soon.” Chris shot him one more half-smile and ducked into the store. When he finally risked a glance back, Ace was gone. Chris sighed. It seemed like every time things started to progress with Ace, something happened to make him question if he was doing the right thing. He’d been so happy to see him, but then Abbey had reminded him, however inadvertently, why he’d avoided relationships in the past. Chris rubbed his temples, already feeling the beginning of a headache forming.

“Damn it,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Daddy!” Abbey gasped. “You said a bad word!”

Chris opened his eyes to find her staring up at him disapprovingly, the bag of candy she held in her hand forgotten. Fighting back the urge to curse again, he scooped her up. “I did, and I shouldn’t do that anymore,” he acknowledged. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Abbey relented after a second, shrugging at him. “Do you want an M&M?” she asked, holding the bag out to him. Chris smiled and let her empty a couple into his palm. “Thanks, princess.”

~*~*~*~

Chris stared up at the ceiling, a light from outside casting strange shadows above him. Abbey had been asleep for hours, but so far rest was alluding him. He tried not to think about what it would be like to share his bed for a change. To fall asleep beside Ace and wake up next to him in the morning. He’d never really considered his life missing anything before. After all, he had Abbey, wonderful friends, and his family, but being around Ace reminded him of how lonely he really was. How much he wanted, no, _needed_ that kind of connection.

Chris groaned in frustration and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow. He’d been kind of abrupt with Ace today, and now he was regretting it. Ace had been beyond understanding so far, but he was only human and there was only so much that even he could take. Chris was afraid that by the time he made up his mind, and admitted to himself that he was determined to do this, that it would be too late.

Ace’s words echoed in his head, and Chris told himself again to just have a little faith in Ace and believe him when he said he wasn’t going anywhere. It was hard for him to do, though, when every experience he’d ever had contradicted that and warned him to be wary.

Chris sighed. If only he could be with Ace without having to explain everything to Abbey, but that wasn’t fair to anyone. He didn’t make a habit out of lying to his daughter, and this - whatever this was with Ace - was too important to him to keep hiding it from her. But Abbey was going to have questions when he told her about Ace. About him, about him and Ace, about her mom, and Chris wasn’t sure if he was prepared to answer them.

He closed his eyes, trying to block out the image of Sara that had come unbidden to his mind. She would know how to handle this. She always tackled everything with an ease and determination that Chris suddenly felt himself lacking. He knew what she would say. She would tell him to suck it up and stop hiding from everything, to take this day by day and make the most of it. She’d tell him, he hoped, that so far he’d been a good father and that that was never going to change. It had been a long time since he’d been able to think of her and smile, but tonight he found himself doing just that.

He finally gave up on trying to get any sleep and climbed out of bed, checking in on Abbey before making his way to the kitchen. Chris opened the refrigerator door for a glass of milk, then remembered that Abbey had finished it at dinner. He shut the door hard, and Abbey’s picture, fluttering slightly where it was stuck to the freezer, caught his attention. He pulled the door open again, letting the light spill out into the kitchen. He studied the drawing carefully for a minute, taken aback by how much like a happy family they looked. Maybe Ace’s optimism was rubbing off on him, but he could actually see this all working out. Yeah, it was going to be difficult, and he still wasn’t looking forward to talking to Abbey, but when push came to shove, Ace was worth it.

“He’s worth it,” Chris said softly to himself.

He knew it was true. He’d probably known from the very beginning, but he’d let his fear cloud his judgment, making him doubt himself and Ace. He felt exhilarated as he grabbed the grocery list off the fridge, closing the door and turning on the overhead light. He sat down at the table, the words coming so fast that he had half the page filled before he had to stop and think.

Everything that had been bothering him, all his doubts, his worries were scrawled across the paper quickly, but it was Ace’s reassurance that kept him going. His words that repeated over and over in the back of his mind. It was cathartic to get it all out on paper. He scribbled furiously, scratching words out here and adding them there, changing lines around, and spilling his emotions in ink. When he finally stopped writing, he was surprised to realize that over an hour had passed. He reread the words that he had written, humming quietly as the music already formed in his head.

These were the words he wanted Ace to hear, the ones he had been too scared or anxious to actually say to him. The words that he’d tried so desperately hard to ignore, the emotions and feelings he’d fought to deny. There it was in black and white, undeniable any longer. Chris felt exhausted and drained as he tore the pages from the pad. He folded them together as he stood up, pushing the chair back under the table and turning off the kitchen light. He made his way through the darkened apartment, slipping the paper into his nightstand drawer before collapsing on his bed.

Chris yawned as he pulled the blanket around him. It had been a long night, and morning was going to be here sooner than he would like, but he felt a sense of relief that overshadowed everything else. He had a lot of regrets in his life, but he’d be damned if he was going to let Ace become one more, not when he had the power to make this right.


	9. Chapter 9

Ace hesitated outside the door watching the taillights of his cab disappear into the distance. When he’d left him Monday, he wasn’t entirely sure that Chris had any intention of calling him as promised. The week had dragged by, but he’d refused to give in and call _him_ , instead allowing Chris the space that he obviously needed. He’d almost given up completely, even his eternal optimism starting to falter, when Chris had finally called him Thursday afternoon. His apology had been sincere and heartfelt, and Ace had readily accepted his invitation to see the band perform Friday night. Now, as he lingered outside of Jake’s, he was having second thoughts. He’d meant everything he’d said to Chris, but all the back and forth was starting to wear him down. More than anything, he wanted Chris to make a decision, either way, and stick to it.

Finally, Ace pulled the door open, slipping inside the bar. It wasn’t as crowded as it had been on New Year’s Eve, but there was a fair amount of people scattered throughout the room. The band was already on stage, and Ace paused for a minute in the back just to watch Chris. It was almost like watching someone else up there, someone he didn’t know. Ace was sure that most people would never guess that behind the confident rocker façade was a caring, apprehensive man who’s main purpose in life was to be a good father.

Ace ordered a beer and grabbed a seat at an empty table. Without the shock he’d felt last time, he was able to really listen to them. Chris’s voice, alternately low and gravelly or high and clear, but always perfect as far as he was concerned, cut through the regular bar noises, causing a strange tightening in the pit of his stomach. Ace’s heartbeat sped up a little as he watched Chris, his cheeks flushing, but not from the alcohol or the warmth of the bar. As song after song passed, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his jeans feeling somewhat tighter than when he’d put them on. If seeing Chris at a distance caused this kind of reaction, he was well and truly lost, he admitted, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care. Just when Ace decided that maybe he needed to step out for some air, Chris took the microphone and looked directly at him, the first indication all night that he was aware of his presence.

“Everybody having a good time?” he asked, grinning as the crowd clapped. “Alright. We want to try a new song for you guys tonight. It’s a little different, but you up for it?” Again, the crowd cheered. Chris seemed slightly nervous as he moved a bar stool from the side of the stage to the center. He sat on it, regaining his confidence as he played the first chord.

Ace watched, curiously, all plans for air forgotten. As he sang, Chris looked out into the audience, his eyes locking with Ace’s. Ace nodded slightly as a wave of understanding washed over him. Chris might be performing for a crowded room, but the words were meant for him and him alone.

“… _Well, I can’t afford to throw my heart on the floor. I want to believe this is for real_ …”

Ace leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, his chin propped in his hands. The song was startlingly beautiful, the raw emotion in Chris’s voice adding to its power, the lyrics mesmerizing him with their painful honesty. Ace had to look away from the stage, overwhelmed by the words Chris was singing to him. No, _for_ him.

“… _but I’ll regret every single day if I don’t try with you. You’re worth the pain I’m going through. I’ll give myself, I give myself away. And take a step of faith_ …”

The crowd, unaware of the intimate moment they were intruding upon, clapped loudly as the song finished. Chris thanked them, reminding the audience that they’d be back in two weeks. When he got cornered by a group of fans on his way off the stage, Ace took the opportunity to slip outside for that much needed air. He leaned against the building, taking a deep breath, glancing at the door as it opened and Chris stepped outside.

“Hey, I thought you might have left,” he said, obviously relieved that that wasn’t the case. The door slowly closed behind him as he made his way over to Ace, stopping just a few inches from him, close, but not quite touching.

“Just needed a minute,” Ace answered with forced lightness, biting his lip and looking down at the ground.

“Seems like we keep ending up here, huh?” Chris asked, offering him an uneasy smile.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, there’s one difference now,” Chris said, causing Ace to look up at him expectantly. “I’m not running away this time,” Chris explained. “I’m through running.” Ace nodded, trying not to read too much into Chris’s words. “You know, Abbey’s at a sleepover tonight,” Chris tossed out casually, or it was supposed to sound casual, but the slight hitch in his voice gave him away.

“Yeah?” Ace breathed as Chris moved closer to him, his head bending slightly as Chris touched his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he whispered, letting his lips brush almost chastely across Ace’s, playfully wrapping a strand of his hair around his finger. Chris pulled back a little to look at him. “Come back with me?” he said softly, so softly that for a second Ace wasn’t even sure he’d said anything.

Before Ace could answer, a boisterous group emerged from the bar, laughing and talking as they made their way to the parking lot. Chris automatically took a step back, glancing at the ground as he scratched the side of his neck. “Maybe we could take this some place a little more private?” he asked, looking up at Ace.

Ace studied him for a minute, crossing his arms doubtfully. “Are you sure about this?” he questioned quirking an eyebrow at him. As much as Ace wanted this, he needed to know that Chris was certain, and even though he sensed a different kind of confidence and assurance in him tonight, Chris had been so tentative this whole time that Ace was finding it difficult to accept this change without hesitation.

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything,” Chris said huskily. “I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you, Ace. I do. I _want_ you.” He took Ace’s hand in his, twining their fingers together uncertainly, his thumb caressing his wrist as he squeezed his fingers lightly. “So what do you say? Come home with me?”

Ace looked at him another minute before nodding slowly. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go,” he said, grinning. He felt excitement and nervousness course through him as Chris smiled and, still holding his hand, led him around to the side of the building where his car was parked.

“Hold on,” Chris said unlocking the doors. “Sometimes it sticks a little and you have to…” he wiggled the handle and jerked it violently, pulling the passenger side door open for Ace. Ace moved to slide into the car, his hand resting on the doorframe. He stopped as Chris’s hand covered his, and he turned to look at him, the door acting as a barrier between them. “I don’t have any doubts about this,” Chris said faintly. “I just wanted you to know that.”

“Neither do I,” Ace answered, realizing as he said the words that it was the truth.

~*~*~*~

Ace looked around the small apartment curiously. You could tell a lot about a person by where they lived, and he was trying to soak up as much as he could. He smiled as he surveyed a row of photographs lined up on a shelf over the TV. He recognized Deanna and Elliott, and there was one of Chris and Abbey with an older couple that Ace guessed to be Chris’s parents. However, it was the one on the end that captured his attention. In it, Chris gazed down lovingly at the tiny bundle in his arms, his smile obvious despite the tilt of his head. Abbey must have only been a couple of months old when it was taken, Ace surmised, finally tearing himself away from the picture.

He was flipping idly through a stack of CDs, mostly of bands he’d never heard of, when Chris stuck his head out of the kitchen. “Guess I don’t have that Coke after all. Um, we’ve got water, or, uh…milk. Apple juice, but it’s in those little boxes, you probably wouldn’t want that. Um…I could make coffee, or I think I’ve got some tea bags around here somewhere,” Chris looked flustered, and Ace bit back a smile at his nervous ramblings.

Ace was nervous, too, but somewhere between Jake’s and the apartment, Chris’s nerves had gone into overdrive. “Really, I’m fine,” Ace told him, settling on the couch. “Why don’t you just sit down?”

Chris nodded, rubbing his hands anxiously on his jeans, but not moving. Ace cleared his throat and looked at him pointedly. “Oh, right,” Chris laughed uneasily, moving to sit beside him.

“Look, if you’re having second thoughts…” Ace began.

“No!” Chris said vehemently. “I mean, no, I’m not. At all. It’s just…” Ace waited patiently for him to continue. Chris fidgeted beside him, tapping his fingertips together as he struggled for the right words. He finally turned to look at him. “It’s been awhile. I just…God, I feel stupid,” he muttered, burying his face in his hands.

“Hey,” Ace said, waiting for Chris to look at him before he continued. “It’s been awhile for me, too, okay? But, you know, I figure it’s like riding a bike,” he said, blushing as he realized that might not be the best analogy to use. “You know what I mean.”

Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, and nodded. “Yeah, something like that I guess.”

“Oh, shut up,” Ace grinned, smacking him playfully on the arm. Chris caught his wrist, pulling him into him. He started to laugh, but it died in his throat as Chris casually let his lips brush against his knuckles. Ace inhaled shakily as he pressed a kiss into the palm of his hand, his fingers stretching out to touch Chris’s cheek. Ace felt the nerves begin to melt away as instinct took over. His hand still on Chris’s face, Ace brought their mouths together, his other arm sliding around Chris’s waist, his fingers skimming over the skin just below his t-shirt. Chris shivered against him, deepening the kiss until, feeling lightheaded, Ace had to pull away. “I think we should go to the bedroom. Now,” Ace said, punctuating the last word with a quick peck on the lips.

“Yeah,” Chris nodded in agreement, standing up and pulling Ace along with him. Chris opened the door nervously, shooting Ace a smile before pushing it open. They both paused a minute once they were in the room, eyeing the other, waiting for them to make the first move. Ace grinned as he toed off his shoes, watching Chris do the same. A simple act, but significant, he thought as the full realization of what they were about to do hit him.

Ace crossed the few steps separating them, dipping his head to kiss Chris while his hands found the hem of his shirt and pushed it upward. Heart pounding, Ace broke away long enough to rid Chris of his shirt, tossing it across the room where it landed haphazardly on a chair in the corner. “We’ll pick that up later,” Ace winked, running a hand appreciatively up Chris’s arm and down his chest, flexing his fingers against the taut muscle he found there. Slowly, he moved backwards until he felt the edge of the bed hit his legs.

They tumbled to the bed as Chris latched onto Ace’s mouth again, pulling insistently at his shirt. He managed to get it un-tucked, groaning in frustration as he hit a second layer. “Fuck, how many shirts are you wearing?” Chris growled, trying to pull the tangle of clothing over Ace’s head. He struggled with the material for a few more seconds before Ace grabbed the sleeves, pulling the shirts off. He barely had his head clear when he felt Chris leaving a trail of kisses over his stomach and across his chest. Ace dropped the clothing in a heap on the floor, his hand grasping Chris’s shoulder as he moved upward.

Ace moaned softly, his eyes closed as Chris’s lips continued their assault. Suddenly, the wet warmth of his mouth was gone, and, reluctantly, Ace opened his eyes to see what was wrong. Chris was gazing at him almost reverently, his fingers hovering above the scar on Ace’s chest. Ace’s breath caught as Chris slowly raised his eyes to meet his, glancing at him a second before returning his eyes to the mark.

“How did you do that?” he asked quietly, finally letting his fingers stroke the skin gently.

“Basketball accident,” Ace murmured, gasping in surprise as Chris’s lips replaced his fingers. His head rolled back as Chris continued on, his tongue flicking out to taste Ace’s already hardened nipples. Ace fell into the softness of the mattress, his hips raising reflexively as Chris tired of his chest and moved further south.

Ace could feel him hesitate as his hand came to rest on the fly of his jeans. Chris looked up at him, the nervousness and lust evident in his eyes. Ace ran a hand over his head, smiling at him. “It’s up to you, okay? We’ll go as far as you want.”

Bypassing the zipper for a minute, Chris pressed his hand to the obvious bulge the denim covered. “Is that a promise?” he whispered, his eyes twinkling as Ace cried out, urging him on. Ace winced slightly as Chris finally eased the zipper down, then moved off of him long enough to pull the material from his legs and shed his own pants.

Ace watched shamelessly as Chris, nearly naked now, climbed back onto the bed. He moved with an easy grace that Ace had noticed on stage, but that was accentuated by the intensity of the moment. Ace’s eyes roamed over him hungrily, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside him. Chris blushed slightly under Ace’s obvious stare, but it didn’t stop him as, smirking, he mischievously let his fingers crawl up his leg.

Any further thoughts were driven from Ace’s mind as Chris’s hand slipped beneath the thin fabric of his boxer briefs, his fingers curling loosely around his erection. Ace let out a sharp hiss at the contact, raising his hips to let Chris tug the underwear off. As he lie there, flushed, his breath coming in short pants, Ace was aware of how exposed he was, but his nerves were completely gone. He watched as Chris watched him, his eyes darkened with desire as he slowly reached out to touch him again. Ace bit his lip as Chris’s grip turned into steady strokes. He didn’t want it to end like this, not so soon.

“Stop,” Ace pleaded, not even thinking about how that sounded until Chris paused, looking at him confused. Ace shook his head as he dragged Chris up to him so he could plunder his mouth with his tongue. “I didn’t mean ‘stop’ stop. I just…don’t get me wrong, that was…amazing,” he grinned, holding Chris’s face firmly between his hands, “but I…I want you to…”

Chris fused their mouths together roughly, cutting off the rest of Ace’s sentence. “Just a minute, okay?” he promised, rolling to the other side of the bed and opening the nightstand drawer. He dropped the condoms and lube on the bed, both of which, Ace noted with a certain amount of satisfaction, were brand-new. While Chris slipped out of his remaining clothing, Ace pulled a condom from the box, jerking it away when Chris reached for it.

“Let me,” Ace said shyly, smiling as Chris’s lust-filled eyes darkened even more. With shaky hands, more out of anticipation than nerves, he tore the wrapper off, his fingers caressing him once before rolling the condom onto his erection. Ace kissed him quickly before laying back on the bed.

Chris kneeled between his legs, looking up for reassurance. Ace nodded, giving him the permission he was seeking. Ace smiled wantonly, watching as Chris pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh, his hand squeezing Ace’s leg briefly before he reached for the lube. Ace closed his eyes, groaning as Chris touched him, grabbing fistfuls of the sheet as he pressed against his fingers. All too soon he was gone, and Ace cursed under his breath at the lack of contact.

“Look at me,” Chris whispered, and Ace opened his eyes to see him balanced above him, his arms straining slightly as he supported himself. “I’ve wanted this since that first day in the hospital. I was just too scared to admit it,” he said. “But you…You’re amazing, Ace. You’re really fucking amazing.”

His eyes never leaving Ace’s, Chris slowly thrust into him, remaining still to give Ace time to adjust. Ace tried to relax, overwhelmed both by the feeling and the words Chris had said. He took a deep breath, smiling reassuringly at Chris. “You’re pretty amazing yourself,” he murmured, gasping as Chris stirred slightly.

His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out his mutterings as he pushed against Chris, urging him to provide the friction he craved. As Chris began to move above him, cautiously at first and then harder and faster, Ace fought to keep his eyes open, failing when Chris suddenly shifted positions, the unexpected stab of pleasure forcing a string of unintelligible obscenities from his lips. His cries were muffled as Chris leaned into him, capturing his mouth in a searing kiss, his tongue delving past his lips to collide with Ace’s.

Chris drew back slightly, his movements becoming more frantic. Ace felt his entire body tense, aching for release. He was close, so close, just one more thrust and…He tumbled over the edge, calling out Chris’s name sharply as he came. Through the post-orgasmic haze clouding his brain, Ace felt Chris shudder and collapse on top of him, murmuring incoherently as he sought out his lips once more.

Ace held to him tightly, or the best he could with arms that felt like jell-o, and only with some reluctance, did he allow Chris to roll off of him. Chris removed the used condom carefully, knotting it before tossing it in the trashcan. “I’ll be right back,” Chris whispered next to his ear, his breath tickling Ace’s skin. Ace nodded drowsily, a smile spreading across his face as he watched Chris leave the room.

He was gone for less than a minute, returning with a warm washcloth to clean them up. Ace murmured his thanks, smiling at how gentle and thorough he was and shivering slightly as the water left a cool feeling against his heated skin. When Chris was finished with the cloth, he dropped it on the floor, climbing back into bed beside Ace and pulling the covers around them.

“Good night,” Chris said quietly, dropping a kiss onto Ace’s shoulder. Ace yawned, whispering goodnight before he drifted off to sleep.

~*~*~*~

The first hint of light was beginning to seep into the darkness of the room when Ace finally blinked his eyes open. It took him a second to remember where he was and what had happened, but when he did, he grinned, burying his face in the pillow. He yawned, looking over to Chris’s side of the bed. He had slipped into a pair of gray sweatpants and was sitting on the edge of the bed, seemingly unaware that Ace was awake. Carefully, Ace reached out a hand, placing it flat against his back.

Chris jumped and smiled over his shoulder at him. “Hey,” he said turning around to face him.

“Hey,” Ace echoed, grimacing slightly at the soreness he felt as he propped himself up on an elbow. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking…”Chris answered. Ace looked at him questioningly, but didn’t say anything. He really hoped that Chris wasn’t regretting last night. “I want to show you something,” Chris said finally. Ace nodded and waited patiently while Chris disappeared into the other room for a second. He returned carrying a photo album, turning on the bedside lamp to give them a little more light.

Ace sat up completely now, watching as Chris flipped through a few pages before handing it to him. Ace glanced down at the picture in front of him, his breath catching as he realized who he must be looking at. “Is this…?”

Chris nodded as Ace’s eyes sought his out. “Sara.”

Ace focused again on the photograph. Although, Abbey had Chris’s eyes, the rest of her delicate features were her mother’s, none more obvious than her wide grin that tugged up slightly on one side. “She’s pretty,” he said softly, his eyes still on the page.

“Yeah,” Chris answered. “Sara and I were friends, not really that close, but we knew the same people,” he shrugged, looking down at the bed rather than at Ace. “We were out one night, and a lot of stuff had been going on. I was still trying really hard to convince myself that I was straight. One thing led to another and…It just kind of happened. I only slept with her once, and we were careful, but…but she still got pregnant.”

Ace was silent as he waited for Chris to continue. He’d wanted to know more about Abbey’s mom for a while now, but it had never seemed like a good time to ask. Now, as he watched Chris struggle for words, he couldn’t help but wonder just what her story was.

“Afterwards, I…I told her I was gay. She was so fantastic, and we actually started to become real friends. Then we found out about the baby,” Chris scoffed slightly. “I freaked out. I wasn’t ready to be a _father_. I wasn’t sure if I ever would be, but Sara was determined that she was going to do this, with or without me. I couldn’t abandon her. She didn’t have anyone else and, whether I liked it or not, we were having a baby.”

Chris paused for a minute, taking a shaky breath and rubbing at his eyes. Ace could tell this was difficult for him, and he grasped his hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. Chris smiled at him gratefully. “I’m fine,” he said, answering Ace’s unasked question.

“Things were working out. I mean, it clearly wasn’t an ideal situation, but we were making the best of it,” Chris shrugged. “I was at work when I got the call that there had been an accident. All the way to the hospital, all I could think about was the baby, hoping it was okay. It never even crossed my mind to be worried about Sara.” Chris closed his eyes at the memory, relaxing against Ace as he draped an arm across his shoulders.

“Everything’s kind of a blur after that. I guess I was in shock. I remember the doctor telling me that she didn’t make it, and just being so sure that he was _wrong_. He had to be. And then the nurse was leading me upstairs to the NICU to see my _daughter_ for the first time. She was so tiny, and she had all these tubes and wires and needles everywhere. I was so scared that I was going to lose her, too,” Chris admitted, his voice cracking.

Ace blinked back tears, holding Chris tighter, his heart breaking for all the things that Chris and Abbey had been through. “But you didn’t,” Ace reminded him, pressing his lips to his temple. “Abbey’s strong and fearless, and she’s surrounded by people who love her. You’ve given her that.”

“You know, we talked about it before Abbey was born,” Chris said, pulling away and finally looking at Ace. “How we’d explain our situation to her. I know Sara would want me to be honest with her. She’d want me to be happy. She would have liked you a lot,” Chris smiled. He was quiet for a minute. “I’m going to tell Abbey about us.”

“Okay,” Ace nodded, glad he’d given Chris some room and let him reach this decision without pushing him. “If that’s what you want. If there’s anything I can do…”

Chris silenced him with a kiss, pushing him back into the mattress. He smiled against Ace’s mouth and slowly drew back to look at him. “You’ve done plenty,” Chris assured him. Ace grinned and pulled Chris down to meet his lips again.


	10. Chapter 10

Chris added the last pancake to the stack on the plate and turned the stove off before setting the plate on the table. He opened the refrigerator, peering inside and pulling out the milk for Abbey and her favorite strawberry syrup that he’d picked up at the store yesterday. Not that he was trying to bribe his daughter, he told himself again.

He’d considered taking her out for breakfast this morning, but, truthfully, him cooking was much more of a special occasion for her. Besides, the conversation he had to have with her was going to be difficult enough without an audience. Chris sighed as he dropped two pancakes onto a plate for Abbey, cutting them up into little triangles. Despite a long, reassuring call to Ace last night, he’d hardly slept at all and was unbelievably nervous this morning.

He’d wanted to tell Abbey as soon as he picked her up from her sleepover, but she’d been so excited, wanting to tell him everything that they had done. She’d babbled on about the plethora of Disney movies they’d watched, the “really yummy” cookies they’d eaten, and she’d even taken her shoes off to show him the shiny pink nail polish Ms. Sally, Kirsten’s mom, had used to paint her toenails. She was so happy that Chris had put it off one more day, not wanting to ruin the enthusiasm she felt over her first sleepover.

Today was the day, though. As soon as they finished breakfast, he was going to sit Abbey down, and he was finally going to tell her about Ace. He’d lain awake all night trying to come up with ways to start the conversation, but he was still blank. He hoped Ace was right and that it would just come to him once they started talking.

“Abbey! Breakfast!” Chris called. He heard the television click off, and then Abbey ran into the kitchen, climbing onto her chair.

“Pancakes?” she asked in surprise, spotting the plate on the table. “Real ones? Not the ones from the microwave?”

“Real ones,” Chris promised, kissing the top of her head. “And strawberry syrup for my favorite princess,” he added, squeezing the bottle, watching the sticky liquid pour out.

“Thanks, Daddy,” Abbey grinned, a forkful of the sweet concoction already on its way to her mouth.

Chris grabbed a cup of coffee before joining her at the table. He eyed the pancakes warily, not sure that he could eat anything right now. Noticing Abbey watching him curiously, he dragged a couple onto his plate, taking his time preparing them before forcing the food into his mouth. Abbey was finished before he even had a quarter of his eaten.

“Can I go color now?” she asked, hopping down from the chair and pulling the step stool over to the sink so she could wash her hands. She dried her hands on a paper towel, looking at him expectantly.

“Actually, I was hoping we could talk for just a minute, okay?” Chris said, pushing his plate away. Leaving the dirty dishes for later, he led Abbey into the living room, sitting down on the couch and letting her climb onto his lap.

“Am I in trouble?” Abbey asked, looking up at him with round, fearful eyes. She tugged nervously on her ponytail as she watched him.

“No, princess. Not at all. I just have something important to talk to you about, okay? It’s not anything bad, I promise. It’s just…grown-up stuff,” he said making face, “but we need to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Abbey said, visibly relaxing, but still looking a little apprehensive.

Chris paused for a minute, not sure how to proceed. He wanted to keep this simple for Abbey and not make it more complicated than it had to be. Maybe it would be better to ease into it and gauge her reaction; he could go from there.

“You know how you worry about me when you have to stay at Aunt De’s or Grandma’s? You don’t want me to be all alone?” Abbey nodded, and Chris smiled at her before he continued. “Well, I don’t really mind being by myself, but sometimes it does get a little lonely. Remember over Christmas break when you didn’t get to see all of your friends? Remember how lonely you were and how much you wanted to go back to school?”

“I missed them a lot,” Abbey said softly. “I don’t want you to be lonely.”

“I know you don’t, sweetheart,” Chris said, kissing her forehead. “Grown-ups like to have their friends around just as much as you do, but sometimes they have one special friend that they like to spend more time with than any of the others. Do you understand?”

“Like a best friend?” Abbey asked, and Chris was relieved that she seemed to be following him okay so far with relatively few questions.

“Kind of like a best friend, but more like a girlfriend or a boyfriend,” he said, watching her closely to see her reaction.

“Like Ms. Sally and Mr. Ben? Kirsten said they’d been boyfriend and girlfriend for a really long time, and now they’re getting married,” Abbey said matter-of-factly. “Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked suddenly as if the possibility had just occurred to her.

“Um, not exactly,” Chris stammered, already seeing visions of a wedding going through Abbey’s mind. He hoped his courage would hold out until he got through this. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he thought about what to say next. “Abbey, some boys like Mr. Ben, their special friends are girls, like Ms. Sally. But some boys want their special friends to be other boys. Do you understand, princess?”

Abbey looked confused as she processed what he had said. “Is your special friend a boy?” she said at last. Chris bit his lip and nodded, his eyes never leaving her as she seemed to ponder it a moment. “So you have a boyfriend, not a girlfriend?”

Chris blinked. He hadn’t really thought of Ace as his boyfriend yet, but he supposed the term was accurate enough. “Yeah, I do,” Chris answered. “Are you okay with that? Do you have any questions you want to ask me?”

“If your special friend is a boy, what about Mommy? She was a girl,” Abbey said softly.

Chris hugged her tightly, stroking her hair before he pulled back to look at her. “I loved Mommy very much, and she was one of my best friends, but she knew I wanted a boyfriend, not a girlfriend,” he explained. “More than anything, all she wanted was for you and me to be _really_ happy. That’s all I want, too. For you to be happy.”

“I am, Daddy. Does having a boyfriend make you happy?” she asked.

“You know what makes me the happiest?” Chris said. When Abbey shook her head, he grinned and kissed her nose. “You. As long as I have you, I’ll always be happy, but I like having a boyfriend, too,” he admitted.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” she said, looking up at him curiously. “Do I know him?”

“You know what? You do, and he likes you an awful lot,” Chris said. “Um,” he couldn’t understand why he was suddenly so nervous to tell her it was Ace; he’d already made it through the tough part. Chris hesitated another second. “It’s Ace, princess,” he said at last.

Abbey stared at him, her mouth open wide. “Really? Mr. Ace? He’s your boyfriend?” Chris nodded, amused by Abbey’s reaction. “I like Mr. Ace,” Abbey told him. “Are we going to live with him?”

“ _What_?” Chris asked, startled by the unexpected question.

“Ms. Sally and Kirsten are moving in with Mr. Ben. Kirsten had to start packing some of her things after her party,” Abbey explained. “I don’t want to move, Daddy.”

“Nobody’s moving anywhere, okay?” Chris told her. “We’re staying right here, and Ace is going to live in his apartment. Nothing’s going to change, except Ace might be around a little bit more, but we’ve already decided that’s good, right?”

“Right,” Abbey nodded, seemingly appeased with Chris’s explanation.

“Okay. Do you have any more questions?” he asked.

“Yes,” Abbey said, looking up at him. “Can I go color now?”

“Can you go…?” Chris grinned, standing up and spinning her around slightly. “Yes, you can,” he said, still holding her against him, “but I have one more thing to ask you. What if we invited Ace over for dinner tonight? Would you like that?”

“Sure,” she said, then seemed to hesitate. “You’re not going to cook, are you?”

“Are you saying I can’t cook?” Chris teased, laughing when Abbey nodded. “Okay, we’ll have takeout then, and I’ll even let you pick. How’s that?”

Abbey reached up to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too, princess.”

~*~*~*~

Chris stuck the rest of the leftovers in the fridge, feeling pretty good about how the night had gone. Abbey had been on her best behavior, and Ace was his usual charming self. If she hadn’t already adored him, she would after tonight. The thought gave him pause. He wanted Ace and Abbey to get along more than anything, but at the same time, it worried him. If things didn’t work out between him and Ace, he’d find a way to move on, but he wasn’t sure Abbey would understand. Chris shook his head; he couldn’t plan his life around _maybe_ ’s and _if_ ’s.

He grinned as he heard a peal of giggles from the living room, mixed with Ace’s easy laugh. He’d left Abbey and Ace watching a rerun of Scooby-Doo, and they were obviously enjoying it, he thought as he peeked into the other room, watching them, unobserved, for a minute. Abbey clicked off the TV as the closing theme song played.

“The gardener, huh? I had no idea,” Ace said, shaking his head.

“I knew,” Abbey told him, grinning. “I saw this one when I was staying with Grandma. She thought it was the cook.”

“Well, it _could_ have been the cook,” Ace reasoned, seeming to ponder it for a minute.

“Did I miss the end?” Chris asked, finally rejoining them. Ace’s eyes twinkled as they shared a smile, and Chris thought, in that moment, that he couldn’t possibly be any happier. He wasn’t sure what he’d ever done in his life to deserve Ace _and_ Abbey, but he was really glad that he’d done it.

“Do you want me to tell you about it?” Abbey said, excitedly, bouncing in her seat. Chris could tell that she was dying to tell him, and she would, in excruciating detail, but it was going to have to wait.

“Maybe later, princess. Right now you need to get ready for bed. You have school tomorrow,” Chris reminded her as she started to protest. Sullenly, she climbed off the couch, but she brightened as she turned to Ace.

“Will you read me a story tonight?” she asked, her lower lip sticking out just a little as she looked at him. Chris watched in amusement as she pouted, knowing that Ace wouldn’t be any more capable of telling her no than he was.

“I’d love to,” Ace said, grinning as she beamed at him and ran to her room to get ready for bed. “I hope that’s okay,” he said faintly once she was gone. “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries.”

Chris sat down beside him on the sofa, craning his neck to make sure Abbey was safely in her room before letting his lips brush softly against Ace’s. He smiled as he drew back to look at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you,” Ace whispered, resting their foreheads together so they touched at the temple. Chris was still for a second, then pulled away slightly, reminding himself that Abbey was just in the next room and would be back any minute. If he didn’t put some distance between them, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from kissing Ace again.

“For what?” Chris asked, watching Ace curiously as he tried to find the words to express what he wanted to say. He was silent for a minute, looking at the floor before slowly raising his eyes to look at Chris.

“For letting me be a part of this,” he said simply. “You don’t know how much it means to me.”

“Well, Abbey and I are a package deal,” Chris answered, touched by Ace’s words, but trying not to get sappy and sentimental. “It means a lot to me that you _want_ to be here,” he added quietly.

“I do,” Ace said. “Want to be…Hey, ready for your story?” he asked suddenly. Chris glanced over his shoulder to see Abbey lingering a few feet from the couch, a book clutched tightly to her chest. She nodded, and Chris slid to the end of the sofa, making room for her between him and Ace.

“What have you got here?” Ace asked, taking the book from her as she climbed up next to him and looking at the cover. “ _Millions of Cats_ by Wanda Gag,” he read aloud. “I remember this book,” he said, sounding nostalgic. “You like this one?”

“It’s my favorite,” Abbey told him, resting her head in her hands as she waited for him to start.

Chris just sat back and watched them. Abbey laughed as Ace read, changing his voice slightly for the different characters. It wasn’t really a funny story, but he made it more entertaining than Chris had ever heard it. Ace was really fantastic with children, he thought; no wonder he loved his job so much.

Chris grinned as Ace continued reading, his voice taking on an incredulous tone. “Cats here, cats there, cats and kittens everywhere, hundreds of cats, thousands of cats, millions and billions and trillions of cats,” he read. Even though Abbey had probably heard the story millions and billions of times, she sat completely still, captivated by Ace. “…and not one was as pretty as this one. The end.” Ace closed the book, looking expectantly at Abbey. “Did I do okay?” he asked.

Abbey nodded. “I like the way you read it, Mr. Ace,” she giggled.

“You know, you don’t have to call me ‘Mr. Ace’,” he said. “‘Ace’ is fine, if you want to call me that.” Abbey pondered it a second and nodded, “All right.”

“Okay, princess. Time for bed. Tell Ace goodnight, and I’ll tuck you in,” Chris said.

“Goodnight, Ace,” she said, surprising him by throwing her arms around him. “I’m really glad you’re Daddy’s boyfriend,” she told him softly, the first mention of it she’d made all night. Ace hugged her back tightly, looking at Chris over the top of her head. If Chris did have any doubt about how much this meant to Ace, he didn’t any longer.

“So am I,” Ace answered. “Goodnight, Abbey.” She finally let go of him, holding her arms out so that Chris could pick her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck, waving at Ace as he carried her into her bedroom. Ace chuckled and waved back.

Chris placed her on the bed, pulling the covers around her and kissing the top of her head. “Goodnight, princess,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Daddy,” she said, snuggling into her bed. Chris turned off the light, pulling the door closed behind him. Ace was still sitting on the couch, flipping idly through the pages of the book. He laid it on the table as Chris came back to sit beside him.

“I think Abbey is completely smitten with you,” Chris grinned, finally allowing himself to get close to Ace, “and I can’t say that I blame her.” His hands sank into Ace’s hair, his fingers tangling in the curls as he brought their mouths together. The kiss was slow and lazy; familiar, but still new. Their lips slid against each other’s with ease, teasing ever so slightly until the kiss grew more demanding. Reluctantly, Chris pulled away. “As much as I’d like for you to stay,” he said, trying to control his breathing, “I just can’t.”

“I understand,” Ace assured him. “Have I told you what a phenomenal father I think you are?” he smiled. “Because I do. Abbey is so lucky to have you.”

Chris blushed at the compliment and shook his head. “I think I’m the lucky one.”

Ace nodded. “Okay, I guess I’ll get going then. I have some work stuff that I need to catch up on before tomorrow,” he sighed. Chris leaned in and kissed him one more time, dragging it out as long as possible. “Although I’d much rather just keep doing that,” Ace grinned when Chris broke the kiss.

Chris laughed as he walked him to the door, stealing another kiss before he opened it.

“You’ve got to stop doing that if you want me to leave,” Ace warned, trying to sound serious, but the laughter in his voice betrayed him. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Chris nodded. “Okay. Bye,” he smiled, turning to leave.

“Bye!” Chris called after him. Ace grinned at him over his shoulder and kept walking. Abbey was definitely smitten with Ace, Chris thought as he locked the door behind him, but she wasn’t the only one that had fallen hard. It had been the last thing he’d expected when he walked into the hospital; the last thing he’d thought he wanted. Now all he knew for certain was that, slowly but surely, he was falling in love with Ace.


	11. Chapter 11

“Have you talked to Mom lately?” Ryan asked, barely glancing away from the basketball game on TV.

Ace looked at him warily. He still hadn’t completely forgiven his brother for telling their mom about Chris before he had a chance. Although, to his credit, he’d remained quite when Ace had finally gotten home around eight o’clock Saturday morning, not even so much as raising an eyebrow at his wrinkled clothes or questioning him about where he’d obviously been. He knew that his mom, and dad after she’d told him, were concerned about him getting involved with someone with a child, and Ryan was having a hard time getting over his initial impression of Chris despite Ace’s assurances that he really was a great guy. He was sure his other brothers had heard he was dating someone through the family grapevine, but, thankfully, he hadn’t had a chance to talk to any of them yet. Even though Ace wanted his family to like Chris and welcome him and Abbey with open arms, he didn’t need them to, especially if it meant constantly having to justify their relationship to the people who should have accepted it, no questions asked.

“Not in a couple of days. Why?” Ace asked, turning back to the screen and the game that neither of them was really watching.

Ryan shrugged. “I was talking to Duff today, and he said that she’d mentioned something about trying to get everyone together Saturday for a family get-together,” he said, looking at him with, Ace was surprised to see, sympathy. “You know what that means. I just thought I should warn you.”

Ace cringed, groaning inwardly as his head hit the back of the sofa. “I can’t believe she’s doing this,” he muttered. Subtlety was not his mother’s strong suit, and every time he’d talked to her lately, she’d brought up meeting Chris. The last thing Ace wanted to do was spring his entire family on Chris at one time, especially since things were going so well right now. But he couldn’t tell his mom no, and if he _didn’t_ bring Chris, she would assume that there was some reason he didn’t want them to meet him. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked Ryan suspiciously.

Ryan turned off the TV, giving up all pretense of watching the game. “Look, I know I’ve given you a hard time lately, and I’m sorry. You don’t need an overprotective big brother anymore. Maybe I misjudged Chris, I don’t know, but I’ve seen how happy you are, and I’m willing to give him a second chance. From the sound of it, he’s going to be around for awhile, and I might as well get used to it.”

Ace was surprised by his brother’s candor, not to mention the fact that he was pretty sure those were the most consecutive words Ryan had spoken to him in two weeks. “Thanks,” he said finally. “I know you all think I’m getting in too deep, too fast, but…this is what I’ve always wanted,” Ace shrugged.

“I know,” Ryan said simply causing Ace to smile at just how well his brother knew him. “You just make sure he knows that you’ve got four older brothers who don’t like seeing their baby brother get hurt…unless they’re the ones doing it, of course,” Ryan amended, smirking as he turned the television back on.

Ace grinned. Yeah, his brothers could be a pain in the ass sometimes, no doubt about it, but he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

~*~*~*~

Ace watched Chris out of the corner of his eye as he drove towards his parents house Saturday afternoon. To say he had been hesitant when Ace broached the subject was an understatement, but he’d finally agreed to go. Now, however, Chris looked as if he might jump from the moving car at any minute rather than face the Young family. Glancing in the rearview mirror at Abbey, who had fallen asleep on the short ride, Ace reached out and gave Chris’s hand a quick, reassuring squeeze. Chris smiled at him weakly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“They’re not that bad, I promise,” Ace said, trying to ease Chris’s nerves even a little bit. He didn’t blame him for being nervous. He knew he’d be a wreck if he were meeting Chris’s parents. It didn’t help that Chris was still having a hard time understanding how accepting Ace’s family really was, and it had completely bewildered him that Ace’s mom had actually _asked_ him to bring his boyfriend. Ace had decided that he was anxious enough without adding pressure by telling him that this little get-together was mainly for his benefit.

“I know,” Chris shrugged. “It’s just…” he trailed off uneasily, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“No, I want to know what you’re thinking. ‘It’s just…’ what?” Ace asked, looking away from the road for a second to glance at him.

“Well…I know you said your family’s okay with this, but…even if they are, I’m sure I’m not quite what they had in mind for you,” Chris said at last, staring out the window rather than looking at Ace.

“Hey,” Ace said softly, taking his hand again as he pulled to a stop at a red light. “They don’t think that, and even if they did, it wouldn’t matter. You and Abbey are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m not going to let _anything_ , even my well-intentioned but meddlesome family, mess that up.”

Ace could still see doubt in Chris’s eyes, but he forced a smile and nodded. “It’s green,” he pointed out causing Ace to turn back quickly to the light he’d all but forgotten about. Chris seemed a little more relaxed as they pulled away from the intersection, but he continued to hold on tightly to Ace’s hand for the rest of the ride. Ace reluctantly had to disentangle their hands when he turned into his parents’ driveway and parked the car.

“Here we are,” he said, fighting back his own nerves as he looked at Chris. Chris nodded resignedly, and Ace leaned over to kiss him quickly. “It’s going to be fine,” he assured him again, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Chris finally climbed from the car, going to the back to wake up Abbey. Ace watched them, hoping his family would be able to see how wonderful they were, and how much they both meant to him. Chris led Abbey around to the front of the car where Ace was waiting. She was still a little groggy, but she smiled brightly as Ace took her other hand. With one final shared look of apprehension, they started toward the house.

~*~*~*~

“We convinced him that the house was haunted, and…” Marc had to pause in the middle of his story to catch his breath. “Josh, you finish it,” he gasped, wiping at his eyes.

Ace rolled his eyes as Josh picked up where Marc had left off. “I was six!” he objected, laughing despite himself. His brothers had been teasing him all afternoon, recounting stories from his childhood, his sisters-in law’s insistences that they stop embarrassing him, falling on deaf ears. He grinned as his brothers took turns filling in the details, talking over each other at times to correct mistakes they were sure the others were making.

Ace was happy to see Chris laughing along with his brothers. His entire family had done their best to make him and Abbey feel welcomed and, for that, he was eternally grateful. Abbey and his nieces had become fast friends, and she hadn’t given a second thought to staying with Chris when Jay had volunteered to take all the kids outside to play.

“I need something to drink,” Ace muttered, climbing off the couch. “Do you want anything?” he asked Chris, surprised when Chris stood up and offered to go with him. Ace didn’t miss the knowing smiles his family shot at each other as he led Chris into the kitchen. “So, has it been as bad at you thought?” he asked, grinning as Chris leaned against the counter, shaking his head.

“I guess I thought you had to be exaggerating when you talked about your family, but you weren’t. They’re really great, Ace,” he said. “I’m glad you talked me into coming with you today. And Abbey’s having a blast,” Chris added.

Ace took Chris’s hands in his, toying with the ring he wore on his right hand. “You survived my family. Congratulations,” Ace said softly, dipping his head to touch his lips to Chris’s. He knew he was pressing his luck with nearly a dozen other people in the house, but they hadn’t been alone in a week and a few stolen moments were better than nothing.

“Ace,” Chris reluctantly protested, pushing him back slightly. “Not here.” Ace sighed, letting his forehead rest against Chris’s for a second. He knew he was right. After all, there was a yard full of kids out back that could burst through the door at any minute. Ace didn’t think any of his brothers would be very happy with him if they were having to explain _that_ on the way home. “De’s taking Abbey to the movies tomorrow afternoon,” Chris said quietly, “if you wanted to…”

“Yes,” Ace interrupted without waiting to hear the rest of the sentence. “ _Definitely_ yes,” he stressed, trying to keep the longing from his voice, but failing miserably. Chris grinned, his eyebrows raising slightly at Ace’s tone. He couldn’t resist the urge any longer. Taking his chances, he pressed his lips to Chris’s quickly for one last kiss. His luck ran out as he heard an amused cough from the doorway. Ace cursed his mom’s timing, turning to find her peeking in from behind the door. Chris blushed a deep crimson, his gaze dropping to the floor as Kay entered the room and let the door swing closed behind her, but she didn’t seem the least bit bothered that she’d walked in on them nearly making out in her kitchen.

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” she apologized, “I just wanted a chance to talk to the two of you without any comments from the peanut gallery.” Ace laughed, leaning beside Chris as he waited for his mother to continue. “Chris,” she said, placing a hand on his arm, “I want you to know that Jay and I are so happy you could be here today, you _and_ Abbey. You’re always welcome in our home. Hopefully,” she grinned, “we’ll be seeing a lot more of you.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Young,” he answered, sharing a smile with Ace. “I really appreciate that.”

“Enough of that ‘Mrs. Young’ nonsense,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Call me ‘Kay’. I haven’t seen my son this happy in a while. You’re good for him,” she nodded, making Ace blush this time.

“Mom,” he complained, feeling a little embarrassed, but mostly relieved. Kay laughed and wrapped her arms around him. Ace hugged her back tightly for a minute. He might not _need_ his family’s approval, but it was still really nice to have it.

Kay finally drew back looking a little misty-eyed. “Look, it’s no secret that I had my reservations about this,” she said, reaching up to brush Ace’s hair out of his face. “But seeing the two of you together with Abbey…” she glanced at Chris as she spoke. “I’m sorry that I did.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Ace smiled. It meant a lot to him that his mother had so readily embraced Chris and Abbey, especially when he knew that she had been so worried about him. She had seen what he’d known all along, that Chris and he had something that was clearly very special, something that could last.

Ace looked over at the backdoor as it opened and his dad ushered in all the kids, trying to corral them through the kitchen into the dining room. The noise was almost deafening as his nephews argued loudly over something, what he wasn’t sure, but the conversation, consisting mostly of _uh-huh’s_ and _uh-uh’s_ , certainly reminded him of his own childhood. Jay tried to play moderator, looking at them exasperatedly as the kids shuffled through the room.

“Hi, Daddy,” Abbey grinned running over to them.

“Hey, princess. Did you have fun?” Chris asked, kneeling in front of her. Abbey nodded enthusiastically as Chris helped her out of her jacket. Ace noticed his mom watching them with a tender smile. She caught him looking at her and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, smiling at him contently.

“A lot of fun, but we got cold so Mr. Jay said that we could have hot chocolate,” she explained.

The door to the dining room opened, and Jay looked around the room. “There you are. I knew I lost one somewhere,” he grinned. “Come on, Abbey.” Chris followed her as she ran toward him, offering Jay a hand with the kids while he prepared their cocoa. Ace couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he watched his father and boyfriend disappear into the next room, talking about what a handful kids could be. He glanced at his mom who was eyeing him thoughtfully.

“What?” he asked, feeling his checks redden slightly.

“He’s a keeper, Ace. Don’t lose him,” she told him firmly, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Ace grinned, draping an arm across his mother’s shoulders and dropping a kiss on the top of her head. “Trust me, Mom,” he murmured softly against her hair, “I don’t intend to.”


	12. Chapter 12

Chris tried not to rush to the door as a sharp knock rang through the apartment. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath before he opened it. If possible, Ace looked even more gorgeous than he had yesterday, Chris thought as his eyes roamed over him, noticing his windblown hair and flushed cheeks. Ace grinned as he slipped inside, murmuring an apology about being late.

“Don’t worry about it,” Chris said taking his coat and draping it over the arm of the couch. “Abbey and De just left.” Ace moved behind him, his arms encircling Chris’s waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. Chris relaxed into the embrace, reveling in being with Ace again. It amazed Chris at how right things felt when he was with him, how comfortable they were together, as if they’d known each other for years instead of only a little over a month. He brought his arms up to cover Ace’s, stroking the skin on his forearm gently with his fingertips.

“So what did you have in mind for this afternoon?” Ace asked, his voice teasing. There was little doubt in Chris’s mind as to what, exactly, they were going to be doing, and he smirked, knowing Ace was as eager to make the most of their limited time together as he was.

Chris tilted his head slightly to look back at Ace. “I don’t know,” he shrugged, trying not to smile. “Are you hungry?”

“You could say that,” Ace said softly, his lips teasing Chris’s ear as he spoke. Chris shuddered against him, not sure how he’d lasted the week, especially after being so close to him yesterday, without actually _being_ with Ace. It had been absolute hell, but they’d agreed that, at least for now, it was best if Ace didn’t spend the night.

“Yeah? We could go out, I suppose, or there’s always delivery,” Chris said being purposefully obtuse, biting back a moan as Ace’s lips trailed over the sensitive skin on his neck. Ace’s arms tightened around his waist, pulling them even closer together, his arousal pressing obviously against Chris’s ass. Even through their various layers of clothing, it was enough to make his own cock twitch. Chris wanted him so bad he could taste it.

Ace’s tongue traced the curve of his ear, nipping at it playfully with his teeth. “We could,” he answered, sounding as if he were actually considering it, then, without warning, he unsnapped the button on Chris’s jeans, letting his fingers dip teasingly below the waistband. Chris tensed in anticipation, inhaling deeply as he silently urged Ace to continue, wanting him to touch him more than anything in the world. Ace’s breath was warm on the side of his face as his lips ghosted over his cheek. “Or you could just fuck me already,” he whispered thickly, finally sliding his hand further down to cup the hardness there. Chris bit down on his lip, startled, but in a good way, by Ace’s boldness. Speechless, Chris had to let his body’s response speak for him as Ace’s words reverberated in his head. Ace’s arm held him in place, making it impossible for him to increase the contact, but he tried anyway, forcing his hips forward as much as he could.

Struggling to breathe, he sagged against Ace, his knees feeling a little weak as Ace’s fingers grazed up and down his shaft, touching him lightly through the thin fabric of his underwear. “I guess that’s always an option,” he finally conceded when he had regained the ability to speak. There had only been glimmers of this assertive side of Ace before, when he’d been trying so hard not to be too aggressive and scare Chris off, but a week’s worth of pent up energy and frustration had brought them both to their breaking point. Knowing that Ace needed this as much as he did, turned him on in a way that he couldn’t even begin to explain. If he didn’t get Ace naked and in bed soon, he felt like he was going to explode.

He turned suddenly in Ace’s arms, his own arms encircling Ace’s neck, pulling him down roughly to meet his lips. The kiss was demanding, a precursor of what was to come as Ace rubbed against him, grinding his erection into his leg. “Say it,” Ace groaned as Chris’s tongue traced his lower lip, drawing it into his mouth and sucking keenly.

Chris meet his gaze, their lips just barely touching. He knew what Ace wanted to hear, and it sent a shiver up his spine. “I want to fuck you,” he breathed hoarsely, attacking Ace’s mouth with renewed fervor.

Leaving a trail of clothing in their wake, but finding it difficult to keep their hands off of each other long enough to make much progress, they finally made it to the bedroom. There was none of the nervousness that had prevailed before, none of the hesitation and reassurances that this was what they both wanted. There would be time for tenderness and gentle caresses later, but right now, in this moment, all that mattered was satisfying their lust and need for each other.

Climbing on the bed, Chris grabbed a condom Ace had pulled from the drawer, tearing the foil with his teeth, almost choking as he watched Ace make use of the lube, his eyes closed and his lip trapped firmly between his teeth. Opening his eyes, he grinned at Chris’s expression, tossing the bottle to him before rolling onto his stomach.

Jerked from his momentary standstill, Chris quickly rolled on the condom, coating it with the slick liquid before crawling up the bed to Ace. He was overcome by his - it was more than desire - almost physical need to be inside of him, as close as they could possibly be until it felt as though they would melt into one.

Not taking the time and care he would normally have liked to, Chris moaned into Ace’s shoulder as he entered him with a quick, hard thrust. He fought to stay still, not wanting to hurt him, but Ace was pushing against him, demanding movement. Chris was all too aware that neither of them was going to last very long at this pace, so when Ace struggled to bring himself to his knees, his arms still tightly clutching the pillow beneath him, Chris was more than happy to accommodate, moving back slightly without ever leaving him. One hand rested on his waist, steadying him as his fingers dug painfully into Ace’s hip; the other gripped Ace’s erection, stroking him counter to his thrusts.

They fell into an easy rhythm, both of them sweaty and breathing hard, as Ace matched each thrust head-on, taking him impossibly deep. Before long, Ace tensed beneath him, his groan muffled by the pillow, and Chris felt the warm, sticky liquid cover his fingers. He had Ace’s cum drying on his fingers, he thought, the knowledge making him feel sort of dizzy as he thrust into him once more. They collapsed into the mattress, Chris shuddering deep inside of him, burying his face against Ace’s soft curls as he came, panting as he felt all of the tension ease from his body. He didn’t ever want to leave this spot, which was good because after that he wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to move again. Groaning reluctantly, Chris finally rolled off of him, realizing he was probably getting pretty heavy, disposing of the condom before stretching out on the bed beside Ace, who still hadn’t budged.

“That was…” Ace started with glazed eyes, shaking his head slightly, his words trailing off into silence as he grinned.

“Amazing?” Chris suggested, turning onto his side to face Ace, his hand trailing up and down Ace’s bare back, touching every inch of skin he could reach, smiling as goose bumps popped up on his flesh.

“I was going to say the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had, but, yeah, amazing works, too,” Ace grinned, propping himself up on his elbows to lean over and press their lips together, his tongue slipping inside Chris’s mouth, gently caressing the warm, wet surfaces he found.

Trying to ignore the stickiness between them for a moment, Chris shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Ace and pulling him against him. “What did I do before I met you?” he said softly, gazing into Ace’s eyes as if he were searching for an answer there. The pure, unadulterated love he saw staring back at him made his breath catch.

“I don’t know,” Ace said seriously, shaking his head, “but I’m guessing your hand got a work out.”

That wasn’t what he meant, and Ace knew it, but it broke the tenseness of the moment, saving them both from having to say something that neither of them was quite ready to confess out loud yet. Chris ducked his head, his shoulders trembling from repressed laughter. Finally, he raised his eyes, taking in Ace’s amused expression. “No, that would be _since_ I met you,” Chris admitted openly, grinning as Ace moaned softly, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Don’t say stuff like that,” Ace muttered. “Every time I close my eyes, I’m gonna think of you…Oh, God,” Ace swallowed, running his hand over Chris’s chest. Chris leaned into the touch, capturing Ace’s lips once more. As his fingers brushed across Ace’s stomach, he was no longer able to overlook the rapidly drying stickiness that was smeared over them.

“How about a shower?” Chris said smiling against Ace’s mouth. Ace groaned again, a sound Chris didn’t think he’d ever tire of hearing. That mixed with the image of Ace, dripping wet and naked in his shower caused a familiar stirring in his groin.

“That sounds great,” Ace answered, climbing off the bed and waiting for Chris to lead the way. Chris passed in front of him, jumping in surprise as Ace’s hand lightly smacked his ass. Ace grinned cheekily as Chris gaped at him. “Like I could pass that up,” he laughed as Chris wrapped his arms around him, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. Chris returned the gesture, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary, smirking at Ace’s feigned indignation. “Ouch,” Ace grinned, rubbing his butt. “I didn’t hit you that hard.”

“Speaking of ‘hard’,” Chris said suggestively, raising his eyebrows as he pressed their bodies even closer together.

“What have we got here? Let’s see if we can’t take care of that in the shower, huh?” Ace grinned, kissing him quickly before ducking out of his arms and dashing into the bathroom. Chris slowly trailed after him, leaning against the doorway, his eyes tracing across the muscles in Ace’s shoulders, the curve of his ass, down the length of his legs as Ace fumbled with the water faucet, sticking his hand under the steady stream to check the temperature.

“I think this might be more fun if you were over here,” he pointed out, pushing the shower curtain back and stepping in. “Of course, if you just want to watch…” he said softly, his hand sliding down his chest, rivulets of water following in its path as he teasingly dropped further south, inch by inch. Chris crossed the small bathroom in two steps, ignoring the sudden heat from the water as he pressed Ace against the wall.

“Uh-uh,” Ace said, shaking his head. “The deal was that I’d take care of _this_ ,” he reminded Chris, wrapping his fingers around his rapidly hardening cock. Chris felt a jolt go through his body as Ace gave a little squeeze. Turning them around, Ace stepped back into the spray of water, running his hands through his hair and smoothing the damp curls away from his face. Chris watched, fascinated, as the water poured over his body, leaving him wet and glistening as he moved forward again. Chris leaned against the shower wall, needing the support when Ace sank to his knees in front of him. It was, without a doubt, the most erotic sight he’d ever seen, and he felt sure that the burst of heat he felt didn’t have anything to do with the steam filling the shower.

“Fucking hell, Ace,” Chris gasped as Ace stroked him, his thumb massaging up and down his length until he was so hard it was almost painful. Ace grinned up at him lasciviously, his tongue darting out, gliding languidly across his tip. Chris quickly changed his mind; _this_ was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. He tried to watch as Ace took him into his mouth, but the sensation quickly forced his eyes closed. Ace’s hands held his hips in place as he moved back and forth, his tongue doing wonderful, amazing things to him as Chris struggled to stay upright and not sink to the shower floor with Ace. His fingers tangled in Ace’s wet hair, his other arm outstretched, bracing himself against the wall. Chris got used to the cadence of Ace’s movement, momentarily lulled until Ace suddenly started to hum around him. Chris’s eyes opened wide as he cried out, his hips jerking involuntarily. He stared down at Ace, his eyes were closed now as he focused on the task at hand, his cheeks hollow as he sucked in earnest.

“Ace…I’m…I’m…” Chris panted, trying to warn him, but it was too late. The back of his head hit the wall hard, but he didn’t care as he groaned, his release rushing from him like liquid fire. Chris’s breath came in labored puffs as he watched Ace finally pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking up at him.

“Better?” Ace asked, climbing off the shower floor, holding onto him, though whether to keep Chris on his feet or to steady himself, Chris couldn’t say. He was trembling slightly as he brought his mouth to Ace’s, tasting the bitter remnants that lingered.

“I’ve never been better,” Chris whispered, tenderly stroking Ace’s face. “Never.”

~*~*~*~

Chris lay in bed on his stomach, watching Ace as he dozed peacefully beside him. He was exhausted, too, and could barely keep his eyes open, but he didn’t want to miss one second of his time with Ace. And if that meant just watching him sleep, so be it. He looked so tranquil, his chest rising and falling evenly with his breathing; his lips parted slightly, the tip of his tongue just visible, and his eyelashes fluttering occasionally against his cheeks. Chris could see himself waking up to that sight every morning for the rest of his life and never growing tired of it.

Chris sighed as he thought about what he had to do. Abbey’s reaction, and Deanna and Elliott’s, not to mention how wonderful Ace’s family had been, had almost made him forget that there was still at least one major hurdle that he had to get over. As much as he didn’t want to tell his parents, he couldn’t risk Abbey casually mentioning Daddy’s boyfriend to Grandma. And even though Ace would never say anything, and had assured him repeatedly that he understood, Chris didn’t want him to feel like he was hiding him or was in any way ashamed of them. Things were getting serious with Ace, and it hurt to talk to his mom and dad and not be able to tell them about this amazing new person in his life. Telling them was his responsibility; how they reacted to the news was entirely up to them, but at least he’d know that he’d made the effort.

“You look serious,” Ace murmured, yawning and bringing Chris back to the present. He’d been staring off into space and hadn’t even noticed Ace wake up. “Was I asleep long?” he asked, sitting up, the clean sheet they’d put on the bed earlier pooling around his waist.

“About twenty minutes,” Chris answered, smiling as he pushed any further thoughts of his parents to the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to let them spoil what little bit of time he and Ace had left today.

“I need to sleep for about a week. I’m worn out,” Ace groaned. “Not that I’m complaining,” he said suddenly, grinning happily at Chris as he flopped back on the mattress. “I can think of worse ways to spend the afternoon.”

Chris laughed, resting his chin on Ace’s shoulder. “You can, huh?” he asked, leaning in, pausing an inch from Ace’s lips as the phone rang. “Hold that thought,” he whispered, rolling over and grabbing the handset off the nightstand.

“Hello?” he answered, grinning as Ace’s fingers trailed up and down his back.

“Hey, it’s De. I just wanted to let you know that we’re on our way back. We shouldn’t be long,” she said. Chris could hear Abbey chattering a mile a minute in the background, and he smiled even though a part of him had been dreading her call all day.

“Thanks for the heads up. See you soon,” Chris sighed. He glanced over at Ace who had already climbed out of bed and was sorting through the clothes they’d left on the floor looking for his. “That was De,” he said unnecessarily.

“Yeah, I figured,” Ace nodded, pulling his jeans on. He grinned as Chris finally stood up, stopping him as he started to put on his shirt. “What?” he asked, letting his arms rest on his shoulders as Chris wrapped his arms around him.

Unable to form the words he wanted to say, Chris let his lips brush gently against Ace’s, hoping that he would understand what he felt even if he couldn’t say it yet. He drew back slightly, his forehead pressed to Ace’s as they stood there just holding each other for a minute.

“You need to get dressed,” Ace said at last, laughing as Chris groaned and made a face. Chris grinned as Ace picked up his jeans from the floor and threw them at him. “Move your ass unless you want to do some serious explaining to Abbey,” Ace said, raising his eyebrows as he looked at him.

Chris cringed as he zipped his pants. “No, definitely not,” he answered, shaking his head. He pulled his t-shirt on before following Ace into the living room where he’d left his shoes. Ace was already tying his shoelaces, and he looked up and smiled when he noticed Chris watching him. He stood up, slipping his coat on and checking his pocket for his keys.

“So, call me tonight,” Ace said, hesitating as he made his way to the door. It made Chris feel better to know that Ace didn’t want to leave any more than he wanted him to. “We can do something during the week with Abbey, if you want,” he suggested, turning back to look at Chris after he opened the door. Chris leaned against the open door, smiling wistfully at Ace as he lingered in the doorway.

“That sounds good,” he nodded.

“Okay, then…Talk to you soon,” Ace told him, turning to leave. Chris caught his arm easily, pulling him back against him. He smiled as he brought their lips together one last time, kissing Ace gently as his fingers cupped his cheek. “What was that for?” Ace grinned, finally breaking the kiss, his eyes twinkling happily.

“I just wanted to say goodbye properly,” Chris said seriously, smiling when Ace laughed, releasing his grip on Ace’s arm and giving his hand a squeeze. “I’ll call you. We’ll plan something,” Chris assured him.

“I’ll see you,” Ace said, still grinning as he started down the hall. Chris watched him until he disappeared down the stairwell. He checked his watch as he closed the door, surprised at how much time had passed since Deanna had called. When he was with Ace the minutes raced by, and there never seemed to be enough time to do and say everything he wanted to. He’d wanted to talk to Ace about his decision to tell his parents about them, but it would have to wait now.

Ace had only been gone about ten minutes when there was a knock at the door. Chris grinned, opening it for Deanna and Abbey. “Hey, princess. How was the movie?” he asked as she struggled to get her coat off.

“We had so much fun,” she gushed as he helped her with her jacket. “Didn’t we, Aunt De?”

Deanna nodded as Chris mused Abbey’s hair, affectionately. “Why don’t you go hang up your coat and let me talk to Aunt De for a second, and then you can tell me all about the movie, okay?”

“Okay!” Abbey agreed, hugging De quickly and telling her bye before running to her room.

“Thanks for taking her today,” Chris said softly. “She loves spending time with you.”

She shrugged. “It’s no problem. I was going to ask if _you_ had a good time, but I guess I don’t need to,” she grinned, reaching out and brushing her fingers against his neck. Chris instinctively looked down, trying to see what she was looking at, but it was impossible.

“What?” he asked as she rummaged in her purse, finally pulling out a compact and handing it to him. His eyes landed almost immediately on the bruise starting to form on his neck. “Oh, um…” he grinned embarrassedly, closing it with a snap and giving it back to her. “Yeah, I guess we did have fun.” Despite his mild discomfort, Chris couldn’t ignore the tiny thrill that went through him knowing that he would be walking around for at least the next few days with a visible reminder of his afternoon with Ace.

“I want details,” she smirked. “I know, I know,” she said, faking irritation, as he started to protest. “You don’t kiss and tell. Whatever. I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you _later_ ,” she said, her tone promising him that he hadn’t heard the last of this yet. “I’m so happy for you,” she whispered, hugging him tightly, the teasing gone from her voice for the moment at least. She finally let go of him, slinging her purse over her shoulder as she got ready to leave. “Bye, Abbey!” she called, opening the door. “You. Later,” she repeated ominously, winking at him before pulling the door closed behind her.

Chris shook his head as he laughed, grateful for Deanna even if she did overwhelm him sometimes. Absently, he touched the side of his neck, smiling to himself as he called to Abbey. “Okay, princess. I’m ready to hear all about the movie,” he said, settling on the couch. She ran from her room, climbing up beside him and grinning as she launched into her story.

As he listened to her, Chris thought for the millionth time how lucky he was. In the end, it didn’t really matter what his parents, or anyone else, believed. He knew that there were still things that he and Ace had to work out, but they’d figure it out for themselves, making up the rules as they went along. Maybe he was being a little naïve, but for once in his life, he was beginning to see the upside of Abbey and Ace’s optimism, and he was more than happy to go along with it this time.


	13. Chapter 13

Ace had been stuck in meetings all morning, which was, without a doubt, the part of his job he hated the most. He’d much rather be out on the floor with the patients, talking to families, helping however he could instead of being caught up in all the administrative red tape. Ducking out as soon as he possibly could, he stopped by the cafeteria to grab a sandwich, planning to head back to his office with his food, when Paris waved him over to eat with her.

“Hey,” he grinned, sliding into the seat across from her. “How’s it going today?”

“Not bad,” she told him. “You?”

Even though he’d been bored to death most of the morning, nothing could dampen his spirits over seeing Chris in just a few hours. They’d had dinner with Abbey a few times during the week, and he’d gone to see the band Friday and spent the night, but tonight he and Chris were planning on going out, just the two of them. “I’m good,” he shrugged, his smile conflicting with his casual reply.

“Uh-huh,” she said slowly, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously. “Who’s is he?” she asked, raising her eyebrows with interest.

“What?” Ace asked, looking at her in surprise. He didn’t think he was that transparent. Paris watched him, bemused, a slow, triumphant spreading across her face. “What makes you think I’m seeing someone?”

“Well, either that or you won the lottery and since you showed up for work today, I’m guessing that’s not it. Who is he?” she repeated, nudging his leg under the table with her foot. “Ace,” she pleaded, drawing his name out.

Ace laughed, “Okay, his name’s Chris. Happy?”

“I knew it!” Paris squealed quietly, reaching across the table, smacking his arm. “Why didn’t you say something?” she admonished. “How long have you two been seeing each other? Where did you meet? Come on, I’ve got to be on the oncology floor in fifteen minutes,” she pressed when he hesitated.

“We met just before Christmas, um, _here_ actually. His daughter was a patient,” Ace said biting his lip, waiting for the response he’d gotten use to, telling his friends and family about Abbey. Paris didn’t blink as she nodded, motioning for him to continue. “What else do you want to know?” Ace asked, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

“Is it serious?” she asked, stirring her drink with a straw and smiling at him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. I hope it is,” he said, blushing slightly. He’d been spending so much time lately with Chris, that he hadn’t really had a chance to talk to anyone outside his family about their relationship. It was nice to talk to Paris, especially since she was being so supportive.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Paris sighed contentedly. “I knew something was up. You are way too happy for someone who’s been looking at graphs and pie charts all morning.”

“I’ve actually got a date tonight. We’ve been spending a lot of time with his daughter, and I’ve loved every minute of it,” Ace said quickly, not wanting to sound as though he didn’t enjoy having Abbey around.

“But Spaghetti-Os and Barbies aren’t exactly a romantic evening,” Paris filled in. “I understand. What are you doing?”

Ace shrugged, “I don’t know.” They hadn’t been out alone since that day at the diner, and Ace had jumped at the chance when Chris had suggested an actual _date_. It would be a nice change to go out together, anywhere, instead of hiding away in one of their apartments. Although if the night ended with them tangled up in sheets, Ace wasn’t going to complain, but he wasn’t going to tell Paris _that_.

“Well, I’ve got to run, but have fun. I want to hear all about it tomorrow,” she said, collecting her garbage on a tray and standing up. Ace nodded, grinning as he watched her leave, not remembering that he had tomorrow off until she had already left the cafeteria. He finished his food quickly before heading back to his office.

The phone was ringing as he stepped inside, and he leaned across the desk to grab it. “Ace Young, Children’s Hospital,” he said, pulling the cord with him as he rounded the desk and sank down into his chair.

“Hey, Ace. Is this a bad time?”

Ace smiled at Chris’s voice. He was always glad to hear from him, but it was a little unusual for him to call during the middle of the day. “Never. What’s up?”

“I had to pick Abbey up early from school. She’s running a really high fever. I know you were looking forward to tonight, but…” he trailed off, regretfully. Ace could picture him biting his lip nervously as he sighed.

“No, I understand,” Ace told him, meaning it even if he was a little disappointed. He knew that Abbey came first and that was the way it should be. They could go out any night, but if Abbey was sick then Chris needed to be there with her. “How is she?”

“Okay, right now. She’s…Hold on a sec,” Chris said. Ace waited patiently, listening to Chris talk to Abbey, smiling at the tenderness in his voice that moments ago had been exhaustion. He wished there was something he could do. He hated the thought of Abbey being sick, even when she was in the hospital, she had been bubbly and happy. And Chris sounded completely wiped out. Ace knew it couldn’t be easy for him to take care of Abbey all alone, especially when she was sick. “Hey, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go. I feel horrible about having to cancel,” he said. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, of course. Talk to you soon,” Ace said. He hung up the phone, staring at the picture Abbey had given him that was still taped up on his wall. He nodded slowly to himself as the idea coalesced in his head, a smile spreading over his face.

~*~*~*~

“How’s Abbey?” Ace asked, trying to juggle the bags he was carrying and not drop the phone as he made his way up the stairs.

“She’s sleeping right now, well, tossing and turning anyway,” Chris answered. “It’s going to be a _long_ night. Can you hold on a second? There’s someone at the door,” Chris yawned. Ace could hear muffled sounds over the phone as Chris crossed the apartment.

Chris looked a little shocked as he opened the door to find Ace standing there. Ace hesitated for the first time all afternoon, thinking maybe he should have called Chris and run this idea by him before just showing up. “What are you doing here?” Chris asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“If you let me in, I’ll tell you,” Ace grinned, slipping his phone back in his pocket and shifting the bags he was holding to the other hand.

“Oh, sorry. Come in,” Chris said, moving out of the doorway. “Here, let me help,” he said taking one of the bags from Ace and closing the door with his foot before leading the way into the kitchen.

“I hope it’s okay that I just showed up,” Ace said, nervously as he set the bag on the counter. “I wanted to do something, and…” he said turning to Chris. He stopped short at the way Chris was looking at him. “What?”

Chris shook his head. “It’s fine. It’s _more_ than fine. I’m really glad to see you,” Chris told him. “What is all this?” he asked, motioning to the stuff Ace had brought in.

“This is for Abbey,” Ace said, reaching into the bag and holding up a small, plain white sack. He opened it, pulling out a Styrofoam container, pushing the lid on tighter as some of the liquid inside leaked out.

“Is that…” Chris started, dumbfounded.

“Chicken soup from that deli on 5th,” Ace confirmed as he grabbed a paper towel and wiped it off before cleaning his hands.

“How did you know that…?”

“Deanna. She was more than happy to help me out when I called her,” Ace told him, smiling. “She said it was the only soup Abbey would eat. She said you might need some of this, too,” Ace said holding up a container of Pedialyte. “I wasn’t sure about the flavor.” Chris took it from him, putting it on the table beside the bag he’d brought in and resting a hand on Ace’s chest, the other settling on his waist.

“You really are amazing, you know that?” Chris told him.

Ace shrugged, “I know that having a child isn’t all bedtime stories and trips to the park. If you’ll let me…I want to be here for everything, the good and the bad.”

“Of course, I’ll let you,” Chris whispered, hugging him tightly and murmuring his thanks against Ace’s shoulder. He pulled back to look at him, shaking his head. “How do you always know exactly the right thing to do?” he asked. “Actually, I don’t care. I’m just glad you do.” Chris cleared his throat, looking away for a second. “So…what else you got in there?” he said, peeking into the bag on the table.

“Well, I figured that we’d need to eat, too,” he grinned, passing the food out of the bag to Chris. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

Chris nodded, his stomach growling as if on cue. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Just let me check on Abbey first,” Chris said. He stopped halfway across the kitchen and turned to look back at Ace. “Do you wanna…?” he asked, motioning in the direction of Abbey’s room.

“Yeah,” Ace told him, smiling back at Chris as he followed him from the room. It meant a lot to him, more than he would ever be able to explain to Chris, that he was allowing him a real role in Abbey’s life. A chance to be someone she could count on and not just the guy who happened to be dating her dad. Ultimately, when he let himself think about it, that’s what he really wanted. He could admit it to himself, even if it felt much to soon to say it out loud, but more than anything he wanted the three of them to be a family. A real family full of flaws and quirks and, most importantly, love. Ace didn’t doubt for a second that he loved Chris and Abbey.

Ace lingered by the doorway, watching as Chris placed a hand to Abbey’s forehead then, unsatisfied with the results, leaned over to press his lips there instead. He nodded to himself, pulling the light blanket she had kicked off in her fitful sleep back around her. “Sleep well, princess,” he murmured.

Chris rubbed his eyes tiredly as they made their way back to the kitchen. Grabbing some of the food Ace had brought, they went back to the living room, settling on the couch with their plates.

“This is delicious,” Chris said. “I probably would have been eating cereal or something tonight if you hadn’t done this,” he grinned. “Thanks. Oh,” he said suddenly as if he’d just remembered something. “I talked to my brother last night after I called you.”

“Yeah?” Ace asked, holding up his plate and trying to find the napkin he knew he’d brought with him. “And?”

“He’s going to go with me to see our parents this weekend. Moral support or whatever. He was really cool about everything. He said it was time I told them, and I agree. He’s kind of curious to meet you,” Chris admitted, grinning at Ace as he raised his fork to his mouth.

“I want to meet him, too,” Ace told him. “I really hope it goes okay with your parents.” He was glad Chris wanted to come out to them, thrilled, but he couldn’t help but be a little nervous ever since he’d mentioned it last week. This was a huge step for Chris, and all he could really do was be there to support whatever decision he made.

Chris shrugged. “I want it to, too, but…whatever happens, it doesn’t change anything. Whether they like it or not, I’m still going to be gay, and I’m still going to be with you. They can either accept it or, well, not, I guess.”

“It’s easy to say that,” Ace said, “and I don’t doubt that you mean it, but, speaking from experience, even if you think you don’t want or need your parents approval, it still means a lot to get it.”

“I know,” Chris nodded, “I’m just trying not to expect too much from them.”

They finished eating in a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When they were through, Chris started to stand up, but Ace stopped him. “Let me,” he said, taking the dirty dishes from him. “You’re exhausted, and I’m here to help,” he reminded him as Chris started to object. “Be right back.”

Ace washed the few dishes quickly, humming softly to himself as he did. He couldn’t recall every feeling this…domestic in his entire life, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He dried his hands, tossing the paper towel in the trash can before heading back to the living room where Chris was. Ace smiled when he saw him stretched out on the sofa, his eyes closed, his breathing even with sleep. He grabbed the throw blanket off the chair and covered him with it, letting his lips brush against Chris’s gently.

Chris smiled in his sleep and sighed . “I love you,” he murmured, turning his head slightly, unconsciously pulling the blanket tighter around him. Ace froze, still leaning over the couch, his mouth hanging open just a little at the unexpected declaration. Chris wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, Ace knew, but it didn’t really matter.

“I know,” he whispered. “I love you, too.”


	14. Chapter 14

Chris blinked his eyes open, struggling to wake up and remember exactly what was going on. The dream he’d been having had left him with a warm feeling even if the details were a little fuzzy. He tried to focus on it before the faint memory slipped away, but it was all too vague. Sighing, he sat up on the couch, trying to read his watch by the faint glow of the television. He must have been asleep for a couple of hours at least, he realized, yawning as he stood up. Absently, he wondered where Ace was as he stumbled, still half asleep, across the room to check on Abbey.

The door to Abbey’s room was partly open, and Chris pushed it further, peeking into the room. He smiled, biting his lip slightly as he took in the scene in front of him. Ace had dragged the bean bag chair his parents had given Abbey for Christmas beside the bed and had fallen asleep, his head resting against the side of the mattress. A stack of books was next to him, and the one he had obviously been reading had dropped to the floor. Abbey was curled up on the bed, sound asleep, her hand wrapped loosely around Ace’s fingers.

As he stood there watching them, Chris tried to push away the old worries and fears he felt trying to resurface. Despite all the help he got from his parents and the rest of his family, not to mention how wonderful Deanna and his other friends had been, trying to give Abbey everything she deserved, ultimately, it was just the two of them. It had always been that way and, Chris had assumed, it always would be. But then Ace had come along and made him question everything he thought he knew. Ace had turned his life upside down in the most amazing way possible, and he was trying his best to appreciate and hold onto that, but he wasn’t sure if he knew how to accept what Ace was offering. It was difficult for him to trust someone that much, to put himself out there and risk so much, but he found himself wanting to do just that.

Somewhere along the way, he’d moved from wanting to be with Ace to _needing_ him and that scared him. He’d never thought he’d meet someone who truly cared, not only about him, but Abbey, too. Someone who would willingly take on the responsibility that had been thrust so unexpectedly on him. Ace was too good to be true, and even though he knew he was being ridiculous and that Ace had never given him any reason to think it, a small part of him still couldn’t help but worry that Ace would eventually grow tired of the ready-made family he’d stepped into.

Chris shook his head. He couldn’t stop the worries, but he could ignore them. And moments like this reaffirmed what he already knew. Ace wasn’t just playing house; he took all of this very seriously. He thought about what Ace had said earlier about being a part of Abbey’s life. It had touched him then, and it did the same now. Chris found himself wanting that more than anything.

Carefully and quietly, so as not to wake up Abbey, Chris eased into the room. Ace looked so peaceful, he almost hated to wake him up, but he knew that he couldn’t be very comfortable sleeping in the chair. He knelt down on the floor beside him, gently shaking him awake.

“Ace, wake up,” he said softly, his fingers grasping his shoulder. “You fell asleep,” Chris explained as Ace looked at him with drowsy confusion. “Come on,” he said, standing up and offering Ace his hand. Ace carefully disentangled his hand from Abbey’s before pulling himself up and following Chris back into the living room.

“Sorry, I guess I was more tired than I thought,” Ace yawned as they settled on the couch. “I took Abbey’s temperature while she was awake, and it was down a little,” he said, resting his head against Chris’s shoulder and closing his eyes.

Chris nodded, watching Ace from the corner of his eye. He shifted slightly to wrap an arm around him, pressing his lips to his temple. “Thank you,” he whispered. He was thanking him for more than that, for everything really. Most of all for just being there. Chris knew he didn’t have to explain all of that to Ace for him to understand what he meant.

“Don’t mention it,” Ace murmured, smiling up at him sleepily.

Chris wasn’t sure how long they sat there like that, but soon, Ace’s breathing was coming in even puffs, warm against his neck. Lulled by the steady rhythm, Chris felt his own eyelids begin to droop. He tried to fight it, wanting to enjoy the quiet time with Ace and stay awake in case Abbey needed anything, but finally he just couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. Yawning, and still holding tightly to Ace, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~*~*~*~

When Chris woke up again, the first thing he realized was that, for a second time, Ace was gone. He didn’t really like this habit Ace seemed to have of waking up before him and disappearing. As the smell of coffee drifted in from the kitchen, though, he decided he could live with it. His back protested as he tried to climb off the couch, his muscles stiff from the unconventional position he’d slept in. Following the aroma, he found Ace peering into his refrigerator, a skeptical look on his face.

“Morning,” Chris muttered, making a beeline for the coffee pot. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Good morning,” Ace answered, pulling eggs and milk from the fridge and closing the door with his hip. “How’s french toast sound?” he said, opening cabinet doors until he found a skillet. “I don’t suppose you have any vanilla extract?” he asked.

Ace looked surprised when Chris nodded. “Abbey wanted to bake cookies at Christmas,” he explained. “I had to pick up a bottle. End cabinet by the stove,” he said pouring some of the milk into his coffee cup. He watched with satisfaction as the dark liquid turned a light brown, and he blew into it, the steam warm against his face, before he took a sip.

“And how did the cookie baking adventure go?” Ace smirked. “I’m having a really hard time picturing that.”

“I found out my smoke detector works,” Chris shrugged. “And I ate burnt cookies for a week because Abbey was so proud of them,” he admitted, smiling at the memory. It seemed so long ago, before Abbey’s surgery and before Ace. It was practically another lifetime.

“You really are a great dad,” Ace told him, smiling sincerely as he broke a couple of eggs into a small bowl. Chris watched as he worked efficiently, mixing the eggs and milk with a little vanilla before dipping strips of bread in the concoction. It smelled delicious as he dropped the first couple into the frying pan.

“And you’re a great cook,” Chris grinned taking a deep breath. “I could get used to this.”

“You’re just keeping me around for my cooking, and you haven’t even had my ham and cheese omelet yet,” Ace winked, laughing as he flipped a couple of pieces and added more bread to the pan.

“I’m definitely keeping you around for more than the food,” Chris said softly, setting the coffee mug on the counter. His hands moved up Ace’s arms, massaging his shoulders gently, his lips trailing over a small area of exposed skin between his t-shirt and his hair. Ace leaned back into the touch even as he continued to deftly work the frying pan. Chris had to remind himself that, even though she was asleep, Abbey was just in the next room. Not to mention the fact that sex and a hot stove was probably not a good combination. Reluctantly, Chris pulled away, but not before whispering promises for later in Ace’s ear.

“I need to call in to work. Let them know I won’t be in today,” Chris sighed. His boss was really great and understanding about his situation, but he’d missed so much work when Abbey was in the hospital that he was afraid he was pushing his luck asking for more time so soon. He couldn’t afford to lose his job. Between work, the recurring band gigs, and occasional help from his parents, he just managed to eke out a living.

Ace looked at him suddenly. “Um, well, I was going to tell you that I have today off. If you wanted, I could stay with Abbey. But,” he continued when Chris hesitated, “if you’re uncomfortable with that for whatever reason, I completely understand. I just thought I’d offer.”

“It’s not that,” Chris said at last. “You’ve already done so much for me and Abbey, I don’t want to impose on you any more than we have. Being with me doesn’t automatically sign you up to be a babysitter.”

“I wouldn’t volunteer if I didn’t want to. Besides, I want us to be a team. If you need something, I want to be there, and I want to be able to expect the same from you. This is a two-way street, so stop thinking in terms of owing me anything,” Ace insisted.

“Well, in that case, I guess I’ll have to accept,” Chris said rubbing the back of his neck as he looked up at Ace. He couldn’t quite explain what he was feeling, but he could tell from the look on Ace’s face that he felt it too. Wordlessly, understanding passed between them. Chris felt a sudden calm that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel yet. He’d been a fool to be so worried before.

“That’s more like it,” Ace grinned fishing the last of the toast from the pan and piling it on a plate. He set the plate on the table before grabbing the orange juice from the fridge. “Breakfast is served,” he joked, sticking his tongue out playfully at Chris.

In a single step, and with very little resistance, Chris had him pinned against the counter. His fingers trailed down Ace’s cheek and along the neck of his shirt. He leaned in, forcing Ace to dip his head, their lips barely brushing when a knock echoed through the apartment.

Chris groaned in frustration. “I guess I better get that,” he sighed. As he reached the living room, Abbey called out for him. He paused for a second, looking back and forth between the front door and Abbey’s room.

“You get the door. I’ll take care of Abbey,” Ace assured him, kissing him quickly on the cheek before ducking past him out of the kitchen and heading towards Abbey.

Chris watched him for a second until another knock reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing. “Coming!” Chris called, jogging across the room. He flung the door open, prepared to hurriedly get rid of whoever was on the other side. Chris froze with his hand on the door knob, the words stuck in his throat. “Mom, what are you doing here?” he finally managed to get out, shuffling out of the doorway to let her in. Of all the people it could have been, his mother was the absolute last person he’d expected or wanted to see.

“I wanted to check on Abigail. And I brought muffins,” she said handing him a plain brown paper bag. “How is she this morning?” his mother asked, slipping her coat off and making herself at home.

“Her fever’s down,” Chris said, his eyes darting towards Abbey’s room, not sure how he was going to explain Ace’s presence to her. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and not freak out over something that hadn’t happened yet.

“That’s good. I’m just going to peek in at her,” she said starting across the room before Chris could stop her. She had only taken a few steps when Ace left the room, carrying Abbey in his arms.

“Someone wants to watch _The Little Mer…maid_ ,” he finished, shooting Chris a quick glance before flashing a smile at his mom. “Hey, Abbey, look who’s here,” he said quietly. She raised her head off his shoulder, obviously still not feeling well, smiling when she spotted her grandmother.

“I didn’t realize you had company,” she said politely, waiting, Chris realized, for him to introduce them.

“Um, Mom, this is Ace. Ace, this is my mom, Sandra,” he said, biting his lip nervously.

“It’s always nice to meet one of Chris’s friends,” she smiled, and Chris relaxed just a bit. This was going better than he’d expected, although there was still plenty of room for disaster.

“Ace is Daddy’s boyfriend,” Abbey announced loudly, her arms still wrapped tightly around Ace’s neck. Chris winced as his mother looked at him sharply, her mouth drawn in a tight frown.

“Why don’t we go have some breakfast, and then we’ll watch the movie, okay?” Ace asked Abbey. He looked worriedly at Chris before escaping into the kitchen with her. Chris glanced at the floor, slowly raising his eyes to meet his mother’s stare.

“Kids are so easily confused,” she said, forcing a smile. “You wouldn’t believe some of the things you and your brother said when you were little.”

As he opened his mouth to agree with her, Chris realized that he couldn’t do it anymore, even if she was giving him an out. He hadn’t planned on telling her this way, but maybe it was for the best. He might never have worked up the courage on his own.

“Yeah, I know…but Abbey’s not confused,” he said softly. “I didn’t want you to find out this way, but…he is my boyfriend. Mom, I’m gay.”

She flinched at the words, shaking her head. “No, you’re not. You have a daughter. You can’t be…you can’t.” Chris hadn’t expected her to be happy, but the blatant denial was a surprise. He wasn’t sure how to react to that. “I don’t know what that man has said to fill your mind with such…”

“His name’s Ace,” Chris interrupted angrily, “and I would appreciate it if you’d leave him out of this.”

Sandra stared at him a minute and then picked up her coat and shrugged it on. Chris followed her as she entered the hallway, shivering slightly as he left the warmth of his apartment. “Where are you going?” he called after her, starting down the stairs behind her. “Mom!”

She paused a few steps below him and turned around to look up at him. “I’m going to leave and pretend that we never had this conversation. I’m not going to say a word about this to your father,” she said, “and I really hope you won’t, either.”

“Mom, you can’t do that! _I_ can’t do that! I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not,” Chris told her. He felt unshed tears prick at his eyes, but he refused to break down and cry in front of her. He wouldn’t let her see how much her rejection hurt him. “I’m happy. Really, really happy for once in my life, and I’m sorry if you can’t accept that.”

“Well, I can’t,” she said quietly, and Chris noticed she was trembling as she held onto the handrail.

Chris nodded, doing his best not to feel as if she’d just kicked him. “Then I guess we don’t have anything left to say,” he said, his voice sounding much stronger than he felt. He looked away as her eyes lingered on him. He wasn’t sure what she was searching for, but he was fairly certain that she wasn’t going to find it.

“I guess not,” she answered, hesitating only a moment before turning to leave.

As she disappeared down the stairs, Chris slowly started back up, but he couldn’t let Ace and Abbey see him this upset. He sank down on the top step, holding his head in his hands as he tried to let everything that had just happened sink in. It felt like a nightmare, but he knew he was wide awake. He wanted to be angry with her, mad, because he couldn’t ever imagine turning his back on his child the way his mother just had, but all he felt was an overwhelming sadness. He’d wanted to believe that she would understand, even though he’d known, deep down, that she wouldn’t. He knew his mother still loved him, that she always would, but he didn’t know if, this time, that would be enough.


	15. Chapter 15

Ace nodded as he held the phone to his ear. “She’s fine,” he promised Chris, watching Abbey from the corner of his eye. She was curled up on the couch, chocolate pudding in hand, completely absorbed in _The Wizard of Oz_. “I took her temperature about half an hour ago, and it was normal.”

“Good. Um, I’ve got to get back to work, I just wanted to check in,” Chris said, sounding really tired. Ace still wasn’t sure _exactly_ what had gone on between him and his mother, but it wasn’t good, that much was obvious. He’d put up a decent act for Abbey, though, explaining that Grandma was sorry that she’d had to leave in such a hurry. He’d shot Ace a pleading look and softly whispered that they’d talk about it later.

“Okay, we’ll see you when you get home,” Ace told him quietly, hanging up the phone and joining Abbey on the couch. “Did I miss much?” he asked as Abbey reached forward to put her empty pudding cup on the coffee table before cuddling up beside him.

“You missed the Wizard!” she exclaimed. “They’re in the Haunted Forest now,” she explained as Ace nodded, pretending he hadn’t seen the movie a thousand times before. “I don’t like the part where…” Abbey didn’t finish her sentence, gasping as she buried her face in Ace’s arm. On screen, the winged monkeys swooped down from the sky, terrorizing the group below. “Daddy always skips this part,” she whispered, tugging on Ace’s sleeve as she peeked up at him while carefully shielding her face from the TV.

Ace grabbed the remote quickly, fast forwarding through the scene with the monkeys. “Okay, Abbey, they’re gone,” he said gently. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that part scared you.”

“It’s okay,” she said softly, her grip on him relaxing just a little. “Was that Daddy on the phone?” she asked, turning her attention away from the movie for a minute.

“Yep. He just wanted to make sure you were okay. I told him we were having a lot of fun watching movies,” Ace smiled, not sure what to do when Abbey glanced up at him with a worried look on her face. She was quiet for a second, and Ace wasn’t sure she was going to say anything.

“Grandma wasn’t happy this morning,” she said finally. “She doesn’t like you being Daddy’s boyfriend, does she?”

“What makes you think that?” Ace asked, amazed as always at how perceptive kids could be, even if you thought, like Chris had, that you were fooling them. He really wished she’d save these questions for Chris, though. He was sure that he could deal with it better that him.

Abbey shrugged. “I don’t know, but does she?”

Ace stopped the movie and turned to look at her. “I think it just took your grandma by surprise, that’s all, but you don’t need to worry about it, okay? Your dad and grandma need to talk about it, and when they do, it’ll be fine,” Ace told her, hoping he wasn’t making a promise that they couldn’t keep.

“I don’t know why she’s not happy about it. I am, and so is Daddy. He’s really happy to have a boyfriend,” Abbey told him. Ace hugged her to him tightly, smoothing her hair with his hand as she hugged him back.

“I’m happy about it, too,” Ace grinned, pulling back to look at her. “Give your grandma some time, okay? Maybe if she sees how happy the three of us are, it’ll make her happy, too.”

“Okay,” Abbey answered, seemingly mollified for now with Ace’s assurances. As she nestled back against him, Ace started the movie, but he couldn’t concentrate on the action on screen. Even though he had apparently calmed some of Abbey’s worries, her questions left him feeling unsettled. He and Chris had never talked about what his next step would be if his parents didn’t take the news well. Ace supposed there wasn’t really a lot they could do, short of giving them time and space to come to terms with it on their own.

Looking down, Ace realized that Abbey had dozed off. Carefully, he eased away from her and off the couch, grabbing the phone as he headed into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, dialing the number swiftly and without thinking. The phone rang and rang, and he was just about to hang up when a breathless voice picked up on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom,” Ace said softly.

“Ace? Is something wrong?” she asked automatically. He could practically see her, clutching the phone tightly, her face lined with worry, frowning slightly at his unexpected call.

“No, I’m fine,” he said quickly, not wanting to worry her. “I’m watching Abbey, and…I just wanted to talk to you,” he said finally. He paced around the room as he talked, looking into the other room to make sure Abbey was still asleep.

“I don’t believe you, but if you wanted to tell me what was going on, you would, so…” Kay trailed off, sounding frustrated but resigned. “So, how’s Abbey? Ryan said you were staying over there because she was sick.”

“She’s much better. It was just a cold. She’s sleeping,” he said. Kay was silent, and for a second Ace thought they might have gotten disconnected. “Mom?”

“I’m really proud of you, Ace,” she said at last. Ace smiled to himself, mystified at the way his mother always seemed to know exactly what he needed to hear. Her words meant even more to him now after this morning when he’d seen how easily it could have gone the other way.

“Um, I probably shouldn’t tie up the line, you know, in case Chris tries to call and check on her again. But thanks, Mom,” Ace said quietly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, honey. Take care.”

~*~*~*~

Ace finished putting up the Chinese takeout they’d ordered while Chris put Abbey to bed. Given how much she’d slept in the last twenty-four hours, he wasn’t very surprised to hear her protesting that she wasn’t sleepy. Ace stayed out of the way, letting Chris handle it and soon he emerged from her room looking exhausted, but triumphant.

“Finally,” he whispered, pulling Ace to him, his hands trailing up and down his back as he held him close. “I can’t thank you enough for being here today.”

“No problem,” Ace said lightly, drawing back slightly out of Chris’s embrace. There were few things in life that ranked as high as making out with Chris, but right now they needed to talk about what had happened this morning. Chris had steadfastly been avoiding it ever since he’d gotten home and, because of Abbey, Ace hadn’t pushed it. But they couldn’t keep ignoring it, hoping that everything would somehow fix itself. “So…” Ace said, not as tactfully as he would have liked, dropping onto the couch.

Frowning, Chris sighed and followed his lead. “I don’t really know what you want me to say,” Chris told him.

“I just want to know what happened, and what I can do,” Ace said, surprised when Chris snorted derisively.

“Well, that’s easy. Nothing. You can’t do anything, and neither can I. My mom was pretty clear on where she stood, and if she feels that way, then fine. I can’t change that, and I honestly don’t even have the energy to try,” Chris answered.

It was Ace’s turn to frown as he listened to Chris. “You can’t just give up,” Ace stressed. “Give her some time, I’m sure…”

“You don’t know my mother,” Chris interrupted. “Ace, she asked me not to tell my father. She stood there and _asked_ me to lie. I’d love to believe that she’s going to change her mind, but she’s not. I’m just saving us all a lot of trouble and accepting that now. The longer I hold out hope that she’s going to come around, the harder it’s going to be when she doesn’t.”

“You knew this was going to be difficult for her. How can you just write her off so easily?” Ace insisted. Chris’s eyes flashed dangerously, and Ace realized he might have gone a little far with that last comment.

“This is anything but easy,” Chris said stonily. “Not that I expect you to understand.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ace demanded, crossing his arms and looking expectantly at Chris. Rationally, Ace knew this was getting out of hand and that they should just shut up before one of them said something they were going to regret, but, at the same time, he couldn’t keep the words from coming out of his mouth.

“This was so much easier for you!” Chris exclaimed. “And I’m glad for you, I really am. I’m glad that your family was so supportive. I would never want you to know what this is like, but…Oh, hell, Ace, your family could practically start their own chapter of PFLAG. And that’s great, but you’re lucky. So just…just don’t sit there and tell me that all my mom needs is time. You don’t know anything about it.”

“Excuse me for trying to be supportive,” Ace tossed out. “And I’ll have you know that nothing was easy for me. Yeah, my family was great, but I didn’t know for sure that they would be, and there were a lot of people in my life that weren’t. Look, people come out every day, and some of them have an easier time than you and some have a harder time, but don’t make the mistake of ever thinking that it’s easy.”

“That’s not what I said! Stop twisting my words,” Chris complained. “I never said it was easy.”  
Ace stared at him a second before climbing off the couch. He gathered his things as Chris watched him. “What are you doing?”

Ace stopped by the sofa, touching the back of Chris’s head gently. “I’m leaving,” he said quietly, holding up a hand as Chris started to interrupt. “I’m leaving before we say something we can’t take back. No matter what you think, I know this is hard on you, and I want to be there for you, but I can’t until I know what you need from me. And _you_ don’t know what that is right now.” Ace leaned over, capturing his lips in a brief kiss. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m just giving you some space to figure this out on your own.”

Chris nodded, rubbing his hand over his face. “I’m sorry about what I said. I know you’re just trying to help.”

Ace shrugged. “It’s okay to be upset, you know. You always expect your mother to stand beside you, no matter what, and it’s a shock when she doesn’t. I _do_ understand that, but you can’t expect her to have faith in you when you don’t have any in her.”

“Yeah,” Chris sighed. “It’s just really hard not to go on the defensive, especially when she’s questioning one of the few things in my life that I’ve actually gotten right. She was wrong when she said that being a single dad was too much for me, and she’s wrong now.” Chris tugged on his hand until Ace sat back down beside him. “I understand why you want to go, but stay for a just a little bit longer?” he asked.

Ace laughed and leaned in to whisper against his ear. “Abbey makes the same face when she wants something,” he grinned, his forehead resting against Chris’s temple. Ace was relieved that their disagreement hadn’t evolved into a full blown fight. He didn’t want to argue with Chris, he just didn’t want to see him make a mistake that he would regret.

Chris frowned, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Did you just compare me to a petulant five-year-old?”

“If all you’re gonna do is talk, I might as well leave,” Ace teased, shifting away from him slightly, laughing as Chris pulled him against him, drawing him into a searing kiss that left them both a little breathless.

“No more talking,” Chris promised, his fingers tangling in Ace’s hair as he brought their lips together again.

It didn’t really matter that they hadn’t solved anything tonight, Ace realized. They would have plenty of time to deal with Chris’s family later, but for now the most important thing was to reassure each other that, whatever happened, they were in this together.


	16. Chapter 16

“Look, Daddy, I wrote the whole alphabet,” Abbey told Chris, grinning as she held up the piece of paper with the letters printed neatly, or as neatly as a five-year-old can print, across it. She’d been sprawled out on the floor practicing for the last half hour, and there were sheets of paper scattered everywhere with her name and some of the words she’d learned already. Chris skimmed it quickly, checking for mistakes.

“That’s really good, princess,” he said, smiling as he watched her go back to work. As he did, his thoughts drifted back to where they were before he’d been interrupted. CNN was playing in the background, but he wasn’t paying it any attention. It had been over a week since he’d talked to his mom and, even though he hadn’t said anything, he knew Ace was disappointed in him. Despite the fact that their last fight had defused before it got out of hand, they’d both been walking on eggshells to avoid a repeat performance. The tension bubbled just below the surface, and they’d gone out of their way to ignore it but that was becoming impossible. Part of what made Chris so frustrated with the whole situation was that he knew Ace was right. If he wanted to mend things with his mother, if he even wanted to try, then he was going to have to take the first step, but admitting that was a lot easier than actually following through.

Chris sighed. If it meant proving to Ace that he had at least made an effort, he could swallow his pride and call his mother. Tomorrow, he decided, putting it off a little longer. What difference would one more day make? Satisfied that he’d reached a decision, he stretched out on the couch feeling a little relieved. He groaned as the phone rang, reaching over to the other end of the sofa to answer it.

“Hello?” he said, climbing off the couch and walking into the kitchen with the phone.

“Chris? It’s Kay. How are you?” she asked pleasantly, putting him immediately at ease despite the unexpectedness of the call.

“Um, fine. Fine,” he answered, frowning slightly, wondering why she was calling him. “You?”

“Oh, I can’t complain,” she laughed. “Anyway, I was calling because Jay and I are taking the kids to the circus next week, and we would love it if Abbey could join us. We do this every year, and the kids seem to really enjoy it.”

Chris was speechless for a second, startled by the sudden invitation and amazed by how gracious and welcoming Kay had been to both him and Abbey. “I’m sure Abbey would like that,” he told her. “Thank you.”

“Great,” Kay said. “I’m not sure exactly which day we’re going yet, but I’ll get you all of that information later.”

“Alright. I really do appreciate you including Abbey,” he said, sticking his head into the living room for just a second to motion to Abbey to go brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She pouted slightly as she started putting away her paper and pencils, but Chris just shook his head and nodded toward the bathroom.

“Well, I may be getting ahead of myself, but as far as I’m concerned, you two are part of the family now. I want you to feel that way. I hope I’m not scaring you off,” she laughed. “Ace would be glaring at me right now if he were here.”

Chris chuckled. “Not at all. It’s actually really nice to feel so…accepted.”

“Ace mentioned that you’d been having some problems with your parents. He didn’t go into any details,” she said quickly. “He was just worried.”

“Yeah, I know he is. Um, Kay? Can I ask you a question?” he said, biting his lip nervously. She was being so nice to him, and he didn’t want to impose on her in any way. “I don’t want to…It’s kind of personal.”

“All the best questions are,” she assured him. “I promise, whatever it is, it’s okay. Go ahead.”

“Okay, uh, when you first found out, you know, about Ace. How did you react?” he said quickly, afraid that he’d change his mind if he didn’t get the words out fast. He sat down at the table as Kay was silent for a second. “If you don’t…”

“No, no. I don’t mind, I was just thinking,” Kay interrupted. “It seems like so long ago now. Well, if I said I was surprised, I’d be lying. I think, deep down, I knew before he ever said anything, but that didn’t make it any easier. You’re a parent, so I know that you can understand this. You only want what’s best for your child. If my boys are happy, I’m happy. But I knew that this wasn’t an easy road that he’d started down, and I knew he was going to get hurt along the way and there was nothing I could do. As a parent, that makes you feel pretty helpless. I’m telling you all of this because I think you need to hear it,” Kay said. Chris listened in silence as she continued. “I think Jay handled it much better than I did. At first I cried a lot, and I worried about everything, but then I realized that all the tears in the world weren’t going to make a difference. The best thing I could do, the only thing really, was to be there for him. That’s when I went to my first PFLAG meeting, and that really opened my eyes. It was the first time that I felt as though someone else understood what I was going through.”

“From what Ace said, it just seemed like you took in all in stride,” Chris admitted, surprised to hear Kay’s version of events.

“I’ve never told him any of this,” Kay said with the clear implication that it wasn’t to go any further. “If I had a problem, then I had to get past it. Ace couldn’t do it for me, and it wasn’t fair to put that kind of burden on him. I never wanted to give him the impression that I didn’t support him 100%, but it took me awhile to get where I am now. I still struggle with it sometimes, but I feel a lot better now that he has you,” she said softly. “I don’t worry as much.”

“I don’t know if most parents would be that understanding,” Chris told her honestly, thinking about more than his own parents this time.

“You’d be surprised. Parents are willing to do a lot for their kids,” Kay said wearily, a touch of humor in her voice. “Tell me, if Abbey came home from school, begging to take ballet lessons because all her friends are, what would you do?”

Chris considered it for a second even though there really wasn’t any question. He’d do anything for his daughter. “I guess I’d try to find some way to make it happen,” Chris told her, not quite sure where she was going with this analogy.

“You wouldn’t try; you’d do it. Even if it meant making sacrifices and taking on more responsibility and sitting through three-hour long dance recitals full of five-year-olds,” Kay quipped. “That’s what parents do. It’s the same thing.”

“Not quite,” Chris answered, “but I think I get it. Thanks, Kay.”

“Anytime,” she said. “I’m glad we got a chance to talk. I’ll call you later with the details, okay?”

“That sounds good.”

Chris hung up the phone having an even deeper respect for Kay and a better understanding of Ace than he had before. And he felt something that he hadn’t really let himself feel earlier - hope. It helped to have a mother’s view on the whole thing and, even though Kay was more accepting than he ever imagined his own mother being, it was a bit of a relief to know that she hadn’t started out that way.

“Daddy, I’m ready for bed!” Abbey called from her bedroom. Chris grinned, hanging the phone up before going to tuck her in. He grabbed a book off the shelf, settling on the edge as Abbey nestled among the covers. He read softly, smiling as she struggled to keep her eyes opening, finally succumbing to sleep before he finished the book. Carefully, he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Chris thought about calling Ace before deciding that he probably wasn’t home yet. He wondered absently if Ace knew about his mother inviting Abbey to the circus. Chris smiled to himself. He hadn’t told Abbey about it yet, but he knew that she’d wanted to play with Ace’s nieces some more so he was sure that she’d be thrilled.

A knock at the door broke him out of his reverie, and he frowned as he went to answer it. He pulled it open, surprised, yet again, to find Ace standing there. “I hope it’s not too late,” he grinned, kissing him quickly as he slipped inside.

“Not at all. I thought you were out with Ryan tonight doing some brotherly bonding or something,” Chris said, closing the door and sitting beside him on the couch.

“I was,” Ace confirmed, “but my heart just wasn’t in it. Ryan finally told me I was whipped and that I should just go. So here I am,” Ace laughed. “I hate it when he’s right.”

Chris grinned. “So, I had an interesting phone call tonight,” he said, turning the TV off so they could talk in peace.

“Really? From who?” Ace asked, furrowing his brow as he watched Chris with curiosity.

“Your mom, actually,” Chris said, noting Ace’s surprised look. “You really had no idea she was inviting Abbey to the circus?” he asked doubtfully.

“Is it time for that already? I didn’t have a clue,” Ace said shaking his head. “But I’m glad she invited Abbey. So…what else did you two talk about?”

Chris laughed at his not so subtle segue. “It’s not important,” he shrugged. “Relax, she didn’t tell any more embarrassing stories about you. I think she’s going to leave that to your brothers,” Chris grinned. “Anyway, I was thinking that since our plans got kind of messed up last time, maybe we could take advantage of the opportunity and go out? What do you say?”

“Sounds perfect,” Ace grinned. “What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m open to suggestions,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter to me as long as we’re together.”

“And here I thought I was the sappy romantic,” Ace teased, nudging Chris slightly with his elbow. “The sentiment’s nice, though.”

“Well, I mean it. Look, I know things have been kind of tense this week, but I want you to know that I’m going to try to talk to my mom. I don’t want to shut her out. You know, Abbey has a birthday coming up and that might be the perfect thing to get her talking to me again. No matter how upset she is with me, she’d still move mountains for Abbey,” Chris said, realizing how true the words were as he said them. “I have to try at least.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Ace told him. Chris nodded his acknowledgment. If it had just been him, he’d determined, it wouldn’t really matter what his parents thought, but he was willing to do whatever he could for Abbey’s sake. She didn’t deserve to be deprived of what little family she had and, even though Ace’s family had embraced her wholeheartedly, it just wasn’t the same. He’d already decided that no matter what happened, he’d never keep his daughter from her grandparents. She loved them too much and, despite everything, Chris knew that they loved her, too.

“I have to do what I have to do for Abbey,” Chris said softly, shrugging. It hadn’t been the easiest decision to make, but it was the right one. And maybe, just maybe, this could be the first step in mending his battered relationship with his mother. He wasn’t going to hold his breath, but stranger things had happened. “But enough about that for now. Any ideas about what you want to do next week?”

Ace smiled, seemingly unbothered by Chris changing the subject so abruptly. “I kind of remember someone saying that as long as we were together it really didn’t matter. I couldn’t agree more.”

“Now who’s the hopeless romantic?” Chris retorted, grinning as a feeling of contentment spread through him. It didn’t promise to last long, especially with a confrontation with his mother looming in the future, but for now he just wanted to enjoy it while he could.


	17. Chapter 17

“Don’t worry about it,” Ace said as he started down the hall back to his office. “Everyone has trouble with that copy machine. It’s sort of a rite of passage. Aside from that, how’s everything going so far?”

He looked over at Katherine, the newest addition to his department, as he walked. She seemed a little overwhelmed after fighting with the copier for nearly half an hour, Ace thought, making a mental note to call maintenance and have someone take a look at it. He’d been requesting a new one for months, but had been turned down every time.

“Oh, it’s great. I’ve only been here a week, but everyone has been so nice. And the volunteers really love what they do, it’s great to be working with them,” she smiled, brushing her hair out of her face as she talked.

“Well, if you have any more problems, just let me know,” Ace said as they neared his office.

“Thanks, Ace. You’ve been really fantastic. I can’t…”

Whatever else she was going to say was lost as he opened his door and found Chris and Abbey waiting for him. “Hey!” he beamed, scooping Abbey up and, laughing, returned her hug. “How was the check-up?” he asked, glancing at Chris.

“The doctor said everything looks good,” Chris told him, shooting a quick glance at Katherine before answering. “Abbey said we couldn’t leave without seeing you.”

“You did, huh?” Ace grinned as Abbey nodded. “I’m glad you did because now I can take you to the lobby to play,” he said, looking over quickly at Chris. “If your dad says it’s okay.”

“Oh, make me the bad guy if I say no,” he sighed, trying to hide a smile. “You can play for a little bit, but you’ve got to get back to school, and Ace and I both have to work.” Abbey smiled brightly at him, squirming to get out of Ace’s arms and go to the lobby. He put her down and turned around, running into Katherine, who he’d completely forgotten was still standing there.

“Sorry. Um, Chris, Abbey, this is Kat, she just started working here,” he introduced. Chris nodded, and Abbey looked up at her, wiggling her fingers in a little wave.

“It’s nice to meet you. I should really get back to work. Thanks again for everything, Ace. You’re a lifesaver,” she said, backing out of the office as she spoke. By the time Ace called out that he’d see her later, she had already disappeared down the hall.

“Can I go play now?” Abbey asked, tugging on Ace’s hand. “Please?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” he answered. He and Chris followed Abbey down the hall, walking side-by-side, their hands brushing slightly as they walked. “So, were you really going to leave without stopping by or did you just use Abbey as an excuse?” Ace asked, grinning at Chris’s sheepish expression.

“I might have suggested it if she hadn’t, but she really did refuse to leave until we saw you,” Chris told him. “You sure you have time to be goofing off with us?”

“Part of my job is making sure the patients are happy,” Ace shrugged. “As far as I’m concerned, I _am_ working. Although this is definitely more enjoyable than kicking the copy machine, trying to make it behave.”

“I’m not going to ask why you’ve been assaulting office equipment,” Chris said, nudging him with his shoulder. “I’m just going to assume it deserved it.”

“Trust me, it did,” Ace answered, watching as Abbey ran ahead to join some other kids who were climbing around on the indoor jungle gym. A couple of other parents lingered on the sides, chatting as the kids played. All around them, staff and parents hurried by, but here in the center of the lobby, time didn’t seem all that important. It was Ace’s favorite place in the entire hospital, and sometimes during his breaks he would just sit in one of the overstuffed chairs lining the walls and watch the kids and their families. He’d spent so many years wanting what he saw on their faces, that now that he was standing here with Chris he could hardly believe that it was really within his grasp.

“Oh, sh…oot,” Chris said, haltingly, as if remembering where he was halfway through the word. “I forgot to get Abbey’s excuse for school. Could you watch her while I run back up to get it?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ace nodded. Chris flashed him a quick smile as he headed toward the elevators. Ace leaned against one of the shiny, mirrored columns, watching him leave. Abbey was giggling and running around with another girl about her age and didn’t even seem to notice that he’d left.

“She’s really adorable,” said a voice behind him, causing Ace to glance over his shoulder, startled. Kat stood just to his left, clutching a stack of files and smiling. “I think it’s great you’re so close to your friends’ children. From what I’ve seen, you’re really good with kids.”

Ace shrugged at the compliment. “It helps a lot in this job if you are. Where are you taking those?” he asked, nodding to the papers.

“Um, respiratory?” she said, looking at him with a lost expression on her face. “I don’t think I’m ever going to learn my way around here.”

“Third floor, on the left,” he told her. “You can’t miss it. It’ll get easier, and it helps that there are signs everywhere for the patients. Once you learn all the shortcuts, it’s a breeze.”

“Thanks,” Katherine said, but she didn’t look convinced. Ace glanced away from her as someone called his name across the crowded room. He spotted Paris weaving her way through people moving in the opposite direction, trying to reach him. “I should get going. These aren’t going to deliver themselves.”

“What did she want?” Paris asked, crossing her arms as she suspiciously watched Kat’s departing figure. “I swear she’s been after you since day one.”

“ _What_?” Ace asked incredulously. “No, she’s just friendly. Besides, I’m kind of taken, and even if I weren’t, she’s not exactly my type,” he reminded her pointedly.

“I know that, and you know that, but I overheard her talking to Wendy in the gift shop, and, believe me, she doesn’t know that. You need to make sure she does. Anyway, that’s not why I was looking for you. The…”

“It’s gonna have to wait,” Ace interrupted. “I’m watching Abbey right now. Chris will be back in a second, and then I’m all yours.”

“Chris is here? And Abbey? Which one is she?” she asked, leaning against him as she peered into the group of kids. “Wait, let me guess…Um, the one with the My Little Pony sweatshirt?”

“Nice try. She’s in the blue,” Ace said, laughing when Paris beamed as Abbey came running over to them. “Hey, Ab, having fun?” he asked, kneeling down in front of her.

“Yes, but where’s Daddy?” she said, twirling her hair nervously as she edged closer to him.

“He’ll be right back, okay? I want you to meet Paris,” he told her, glancing up at his friend as he spoke. Paris leaned over until she was only a couple of inches above Abbey and smiled at her.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Abbey. Ace has told me a lot about you, and he showed me the picture you colored for him in his office,” Paris grinned. “That was really good.”

“Thank you,” Abbey said shyly, hanging on to Ace. Aside from his family, Ace hadn’t really seen Abbey around any strangers, and it surprised him by how quiet she could be. With him, she had always been bright and bubbly, and that still came through, but she was more subdued.

“Hey, sorry I took so long. I…Oh, hi,” Chris said as he rejoined them, tucking Abbey’s excuse away in his pocket. Ace climbed to his feet as Paris stood by patiently waiting for him to introduce them. When he didn’t act fast enough, she offered her hand to Chris, elbowing Ace in the ribs in the process.

“Hi, I’m Paris,” she said as he shook her hand. “You must be Chris, and I’ve already met Abbey,” she smiled. “Ace has told me so much about you. Well, not a lot, it’s kind of like pulling teeth actually, but he’s told me enough.”

“I’ve met you before,” Chris said slowly. “I…Yes! I ran into you outside of Ace’s office once.”

“Really? I wish I’d known who you were then,” she said wistfully. “Anyway, I’m so glad I finally got a chance to meet both of you. Ace, I’ve got to run, but will you be back in your office in, like, ten minutes?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” Ace nodded, turning back to Chris as she started across the lobby.

“Come on, princess. We’ve got to go,” Chris said leading Abbey to the elevator that would take them to the parking deck. Ace followed behind, not quite ready to say goodbye and go back to his routine day just yet. “I talked to Kay,” Chris said as they waited for an elevator. “The circus is definitely on for tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” Ace grinned. “We’ll talk about it tonight?” he asked as the bell dinged and the doors slid open. A couple of people slipped out past them before Abbey and Chris entered the elevator. Chris held the door with his hand as he leaned out to talk to Ace.

“Yeah, I’ll call later,” Chris promised. The door jerked, trying to close, and he reluctantly removed his hold on it. “Bye.”

“Bye!” Ace called just before they disappeared from sight. It had been nice seeing them during the day, but it only made him miss them more now that they were gone. Ace shook his head, focusing instead on his date with Chris the next night. They’d been throwing around ideas all week, but so far they hadn’t decided what they were going to do. It had been so long since they’d been alone, he couldn’t ignore the very real possibility that they’d just end up back at Chris’s, but as wonderful as that sounded, part of Ace hoped it didn’t happen that way.

During so much of their relationship, Ace had felt like they were hiding, first from Abbey, then from Chris’s parents. It would be nice to be out, just the two of them, and not worry about who saw them. Even as he thought it, Ace couldn’t ignore the tiny nagging at the back of his mind, wondering just how comfortable Chris was going to be with him, out in public, without Abbey around to distract him. He was going to do everything he could to avoid it, but Ace couldn’t deny that the whole thing could turn into a huge disaster. Ace frowned, wondering when he’d become so pessimistic.

As he made his way back to his office to meet Paris, Ace tried to convince himself that he was being ridiculous. The whole “date” thing had been Chris’s idea in the first place. If he didn’t want to go out, he wouldn’t have suggested it. Actually, Ace reasoned, it might mean more if Chris _was_ uncomfortable because at least he was trying and wasn’t content to hide away anymore. Shrugging off his worries, Ace forced a smile as he reached his office, glad that Paris was already there to take his mind off of things.

“Okay, I know we have work to do,” she said, grinning as he sat down behind his desk, “but I have to say that the three of you together is absolutely the most adorable thing ever. You’re just such a little…family.”

Ace bit his lip, feeling guilty for doubting Chris when he knew that he’d already sacrificed a lot to be with him. He wasn’t going to let anything, least of all his overactive imagination, ruin his date with Chris. There were still too many obstacles, namely the unresolved tension between Chris and his mom, for Ace to go around making up problems for them to face.

“Next thing you know, you’re going to be driving the car pool and going to PTO meetings,” Paris kidded. Ace couldn’t hold back a grin at that. Even though she was joking, that was exactly what he wanted, what he’d always wanted.

“I hope so,” Ace said softly. “I really hope so.”


	18. Chapter 18

Chris glanced at his watch as he hurried down the familiar hallway to Ace’s office. Ace was working late and had asked Chris if he’d meet him there after he dropped Abbey off since Ryan’s car was in the shop, and Ace had lent him his. Between traffic and Abbey not wanting him to leave, a problem Jay had solved with promises of cotton candy, he was running really late now.

This area of the hospital was nearly deserted, with just a few stragglers lingering over their work. Chris slowed down to catch his breath as he neared the office. He could hear Ace talking through the cracked door, and he edged closer to the door to hear, not wanting to interrupt him if he was in the middle of something important.

“If they need volunteers to work the fundraiser, I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Ace said, leafing through a stack of papers. “Just tell Paula I’ll take care of it. Um…” he looked around, clearly searching for something that he’d misplaced. “The volunteer list?” he asked, standing up to search for it.

Katherine moved into view standing just beside Ace, slipping past him to grab some papers off the top of the filing cabinet behind him. “Here you go,” she grinned, handing it to him. “Ace, we’ve got everything covered. I think you need a break. Why don’t we go grab some coffee from the cafeteria?”

By the time her hand landed on his shoulder, Chris had seen enough. He knocked on the door once before pushing it open. “Hey. Sorry, I’m late,” he said as Ace glanced over his shoulder at him.

“Hey!” Ace beamed, dropping the papers he was holding onto his desk and, shaking Katherine off, moving towards the door. Before he could say anything else, Chris had given him a quick hug, letting his lips brush not so subtly over his cheek. He tried to bit back a smug smile as he took in the stunned expression on Kat’s face. “Uh, sorry, Kat, I have plans,” Ace said shooting Chris an unreadable look as she turned a pale shade of red. “We’ll finish this up tomorrow, okay?”

She nodded wordlessly before excusing herself, leaving them alone in the office. Chris tried to wait until she was out of earshot before he burst out laughing. It slowly subsided when he realized that Ace didn’t look very happy with him. “What?” he asked defensively. “She was all over you. Did you just expect me to stand there and watch her hit on you?”

“No…It’s just, I have to work with her, and I was going to tell her. It…never mind. It’s not important. She knows now, and maybe that’ll be the end of it,” Ace sighed wearily.

“Damn straight it _better_ be,” Chris muttered, finally drawing a smile, albeit a reluctant one, from Ace.

“Just let me wrap this up, and we’ll get out of here,” Ace said, letting the issue drop, much to Chris’s relief, at least for now. He leaned against the doorframe watching Ace as he shuffled through the papers on his desk, leaving most in piles and stuffing a couple of folders into his briefcase. “Okay,” he said, glancing once more around the room to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“So you’ve really never been to this thing they have down at the lake?” Chris asked as they made their way out of the building. It had been unseasonably warm the last couple of days, and they’d decided to take advantage of it rather than be stuck inside somewhere at dinner or a movie.

Ace shook his head. “I’ve heard about it, but I’ve always been too busy,” he explained.

“It’s great,” Chris said, unlocking his car. “There’s food and music, you name it. De and I took Abbey just before Thanksgiving, and we had a blast.” He slipped into the seat and pulled the door closed.

“Did you have any problems with Abbey tonight?” Ace asked, fastening his seatbelt as Chris started the car and left the parking lot.

“A little,” Chris shrugged, “but your dad is fantastic with her. One mention of cotton candy, and she couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.”

They didn’t talk much the rest of the drive, letting the radio fill the silence. Chris glanced at Ace out of the corner of his eye as he pulled into the parking area and began searching for a space. He hoped Ace wasn’t still upset about what had happened at the hospital. It had been a impulsive action, and he hadn’t meant any harm. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal.

“Hey,” Chris said softly after he’d stopped the car, putting his hand on Ace’s arm to keep him from leaving the car. “We’re okay, right?”

“What?” Ace asked, sounding puzzled. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, don’t worry about it,” he assured, offering him a smile before he climbed out of the car. Chris met him on the other side, and they followed the thin stream of people out of the parking lot to the upper area around the lake where the food booths and stage were set up.

“Hungry?” Chris asked as they stopped for a minute to survey the scene and decide what to do next.

“Yeah, I guess,” Ace answered. “Let’s just look around a bit before we decide, okay?” Chris nodded and followed him. They wandered down the pathway, laughing and talking as they looked at what the different vendors had to offer. Besides food, there were people selling almost everything imaginable.

“Abbey would love this,” Chris said, pausing at a stand selling handmade quilts and picking up one with Care Bears on it. He looked at the price tag and quickly laid it back on the table. “Maybe later.”

Chris was having a good time, but he couldn’t help but notice that Ace was a little quieter than usual. He moved closer to ask if he was okay, but Ace shifted away from him ever so slightly before he could open his mouth. Chris looked at him confused, but tried to shrug it off. “You want walk down to the lake?” Chris asked, feeling even more baffled than before when Ace agreed, smiling as though nothing had happened.

The crowd thinned some as they left the pavement where the merchants were and started down the dirt walkway that led to the water. They were silent as they walked, the sounds of people in the distance mixed with the faint strains of the jazz combo playing on the stage, growing softer as they continued. There was a stillness to the night, broken only by a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves of the trees they passed. The pathway was lit, but it was barely needed with a full moon overhead.

Chris smiled, letting his hand brush against Ace’s, his fingers skimming over his palm as he joined them together. Ace jerked his hand away like he’d been burnt, freezing as Chris turned to look at him.

“This is ridiculous,” Chris muttered, grabbing Ace’s arm and moving off the path into a clearing with a picnic table. He climbed onto the top, his feet resting on the bench, glancing at Ace expectantly, waiting for him to join him. “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” he said quietly, completely bewildered by Ace’s behavior. “If you’re still mad about what happened at the hospital, I’m sorry. I can’t change it now.”

“I don’t care about that,” Ace mumbled, sitting beside him and resting his elbows on his knees, not looking at Chris.

“Then what’s going on? And don’t tell me nothing. You’re practically jumping out of your skin every time I touch you. Have I done something?” Chris asked, searching for answers to the sudden change in Ace.

Ace was silent for a minute as he studied his hands. “I…I didn’t know how comfortable you’d be with all of this. I didn’t want to push you or make you feel like we had to act all…couple-ly in public. I was trying to…I just ended up making it worse.”

Chris sighed as he rested his hand on Ace’s knee, giving it a little squeeze. “I appreciate that. I really do, but if we’re out, and I hold your hand or, heaven forbid, kiss you, it’s because I _want_ to, not because I feel some sort of obligation,” Chris told him. “If something makes me uncomfortable, I’ll tell you, and you do the same, okay?”

“I’ve ruined this, haven’t I?” Ace said, glancing sideways at him. “I wanted it to be perfect, and I just completely messed it up.”

“No, you haven’t,” Chris said, taking Ace’s hand in his, entwining their fingers as he spoke. “It was sweet…in a really misguided sort of way,” he smiled. “But next time just tell me if something’s bothering you. I really thought you were mad that I kissed you at the hospital,” Chris told him.

Ace was quiet for a second. “Well, I wasn’t thrilled, but…did you see her face?” he grinned. “That was priceless. Oh, man, tomorrow’s going to be interesting.”

Chris laughed, glad that the tension that had been hanging over them all night had evaporated. He leaned into Ace, capturing his lips in a slow, lingering kiss, drawing it out lazily as he slipped an arm around Ace’s waist. He untangled their fingers, bringing his hand up to cup Ace’s cheek, caressing his face gently. Ace moaned into his mouth, sending shivers up his spine. Chris struggled to breathe as he ended the kiss, his lips skimming Ace’s jaw line until he reached his ear. “I love you,” he whispered hoarsely, swallowing hard as he finally got the words out.

Ace didn’t move for a minute, and neither did he, burying his face into Ace’s curls rather than look at him. “I love you, too,” Ace said finally, so softly that Chris almost didn’t hear him over the steady recriminations in his head. Chris pulled back suddenly to look him in the eye.

“Yeah?” he questioned lightly, biting his lip to keep from grinning.

It wasn’t that he was surprised because, deep down, Chris already knew that Ace loved him, but to actually hear him say it was incredible. He’d wanted to say it so many times before and had come so _close_ a couple of times, but now he was glad that he’d waited. It couldn’t be any more perfect than this if he’d planned it.

“Yeah,” Ace answered, nodding, clearing his throat as he looked down at the ground. “Now what about that walk to the lake you promised me?” he asked, glancing up at Chris, a half-smile playing on his lips.

Chris hopped off the table, brushing the back of his jeans off as Ace grinned at him. “What are you waiting for?” he asked, motioning to the main walkway.

“Okay, then. Let’s go,” Ace said, climbing down and joining him. He started back to the worn path, but Chris caught his arm and pulled him back. Ace looked at him curiously, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

“Wait,” Chris said, pressing their palms together purposefully and folding his hand around Ace’s. “Now we’re ready,” he smiled, squeezing his hand tightly. The simple act, combined with the look on Ace’s face, made his chest tighten and his breath hitch just a little.

“Perfect fit,” Ace mused, his thumb moving absently back and forth over Chris’s.

Chris reached up, wrapping his free arm around Ace’s neck, trapping their joined hands between them as he hugged him. His lips brushed against Ace’s, and he pressed one more quick kiss at the corner of his mouth. “I know,” Chris answered, reluctantly loosening his grip on him. “Come on. Let’s go to the lake.”

Hands still entwined, they slipped out of the shadows and back onto the trail. As the water came into view, Ace gripped his hand a little harder, smiling at him when Chris glanced over at him. The night had gotten off to a rocky start, but Chris couldn’t imagine it getting any better than this.

They walked to the end of the pier, gazing out at the water that sparkled in the moonlight. They leaned on the railing, their shoulders touching, in companionable silence, the only sound coming from the crickets chirping along the edge of the lake.

“You ready to go?” Ace said at last after they’d been standing there awhile. Chris didn’t want to go, but he knew they’d have to leave soon so he could pick up Abbey. He sighed and nodded, casting one more longing look across the water before turning his back to it.

“Yeah, let’s go.”


	19. Chapter 19

Ace held the phone between his ear and shoulder, nodding as he scribbled on a post-in note. He pulled it from the stack and stuck in on his computer where he would be sure to see it. “Okay, thanks again. I’ll see you then,” he said, yawning as he dropped the receiver into the cradle. He stretched in his chair, pushing it back from his desk a little.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the picture Abbey had colored for him and smiled. He was still reeling from Chris’s unexpected declaration last night. He hadn’t been able to sleep once he got home, and even Ryan’s good-natured ribbing couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face. It had been one of the best nights of his life, and he was just happy that he hadn’t ruined it. Tonight, Chris had to work late taking inventory, so Ace was picking Abbey up from the store and watching her until he was finished.

Ace ran a hand over his face, slapping his cheek lightly to try to wake himself up. He had work to do, but so far he hadn’t been able to concentrate long enough to get anything done. The door to his office opened, and Ace looked up, grateful for the distraction so he didn’t have to think about how unproductive he was being.

Paris dropped a file onto his desk, crossing her arms as she raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s going on with your one-woman fan club? Usually she’d grab any chance she could to see you, and now she’s asking me to deliver stuff to you? What gives?”

Ace sighed. He’d had a feeling Kat was avoiding him today, but he hadn’t dwelt on it. If this was going to cause problems, though, he needed to deal with it now, not wait until it got out of hand. “She knows about Chris,” he said finally, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced up at her.

“You told her?” Paris asked, almost gleefully, settling into the chair across from Ace. “I wish I could have seen her face. What did you say? What did _she_ say? Come on, I want details.”

Ace filled her in on what had happened the night before. By the time he finished talking, she was doubled over in the chair, laughing. “I knew I liked him,” she grinned, wiping her eyes. “It’s about time someone put her in her place. Now I _really_ wish I’d seen her face.”

“I’m so glad you and Chris find this funny, but I have to work with her. She was so embarrassed last night. No wonder she’s avoiding me,” Ace said. “I wish I could have told her instead of her finding out like that.”

“She’ll get over it,” Paris answered dismissively. “Don’t let it bother you.”

“Maybe,” Ace said, but he wasn’t convinced. “I think I should talk to her before I leave. Just smooth everything over a little,” he shrugged, standing up. “It couldn’t hurt, right?”

“Are you leaving early today?” Paris questioned, climbing from her chair and following him out of the office. “Got another hot date?”

“Not exactly,” he grinned. “I’m babysitting tonight, and I’ve got to pick up Abbey’s birthday present first.” The big day was still two weeks away, but Deanna had already sent out invitations and had pretty much taken over the party preparation, leaving Chris and Ace to happily stand back and do whatever they were told to do.

“Well, have fun anyway,” Paris told him. “And good luck,” she whispered, turning down another hallway as he continued on his own to find Kat. He finally found her in the copy room, straightening a stack of brightly-colored fliers announcing the new fundraiser they were helping out with.

“Hey, do you have a minute?” Ace asked, slipping into the room and closing the door behind him.

“I’ve really got to get these out. On the different floors,” she finished lamely, forcing a smile. “So, maybe later, but I’m really busy right...”

“It’ll just take a second,” Ace interrupted, blocking her path to the door. “I wanted to apologize for last night. I should have told you before you found out like that, and I’m sorry. I think we work well together, and I’d really hate to see that change.”

“So would I,” Kat said softly, looking a little less like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. “Look, since we’re being honest here, I don’t want you to think that I’m, you know, homophobic or anything because I’m not, I was just caught off guard and…well, a little disappointed,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing slightly as she spoke. “Do you think we could just pretend this never happened?”

“I think we can do that,” Ace answered, nodding. They shared an uncomfortable moment of silence as Kat gathered her papers and stuffed them in a folder, purposefully not looking at him.

“I really need to go. I’ll see you around,” she said quickly, slipping past him and out the door before he could answer. That hadn’t gone perfectly, but it was still better than Ace had expected. He hoped things would get back to normal soon; however, at this point, he’d settle for simply less awkward.

Ace glanced at his watch as he headed back to his office. He’d told Chris he’d try to be there by four, and if he didn’t hurry, he wasn’t going to make it. He gathered a few items off his desk, not that he had any delusions of getting a lot done tonight, but some things couldn’t wait. A quick stop by the department secretary, and he was on his way.

~*~*~*~

Ace pulled into the parking lot in front of the store with only a couple of minutes to spare. Abbey’s present was carefully stashed in the trunk away from prying eyes. He couldn’t wait to give it to her, a habit that usually limited his shopping to a couple of days prior to the event, which wasn’t so bad for birthdays, but was absolute hell during Christmas. This time, though, he couldn’t put it off and risk the chance that what he wanted would be gone.

The bell overhead dinged as he pushed open the door. He breathed in the unique scent of the store, a combination he couldn’t quite identify, but that always reminded him of Chris. He paused by a display up front, scanning the new sheet music they’d gotten in since the last time he’d been there.

“Hi, welcome to…Oh, it’s just you,” Elliott grinned, giving him a quick up nod. “Chris! Ace is here,” he shouted into the back, turning back to the counter just as Ace reached it. “Hey, man.”

“Hey,” Ace answered, interrupted by a muffled cry from the storeroom.

“Either a box just fell on him, or he wants you to go on back,” Elliott told him, waving him behind the counter. “Watch the steps!” he reminded as Ace started into the dimly lit backroom. The hallway on both sides were covered with autographed pictures of bands, local and national, that had performed in the area. He still hadn’t had a chance to look at them all, but he took in as many as he could as he made his way to Chris.

“Hi,” Chris smiled, dropping the clipboard he was holding on top of a box, leaning on it lazily as he watched Ace cross the cluttered room. “How’d it go today?” he asked, cutting Ace off before he could answer by pressing their lips together. After being thoroughly kissed, Ace pulled back, grinning at him. “It wasn’t too weird, was it?”

Ace shook his head, not wanting to rehash the whole thing again. “Paris thought it was really funny, though.”

“I knew I liked her,” Chris laughed. “Come on. Abbey’s in the office watching cartoons,” he said, leading Ace back up the hall to a door on the left. “I really appreciate you watching her tonight.” The fact that his parents would have normally babysat was left unsaid, but not unnoticed, at least not by Ace. He knew Chris still hadn’t talked to his mom, although he had left a message inviting them to Abbey’s party on their answering machine. As far as he knew, she hadn’t called back.

“Hey, princess. Are you ready to go with Ace?” Chris asked, turning off the television and picking her backpack up from the chair. “Do you want to take this with you or do you want me to bring it?”

“I’ll take it,” Abbey said, turning around and letting Chris slip it on her shoulders. “Hi, Ace,” she grinned, smiling up at him. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Chris kneeled in front of her, kissing her forehead and letting her give him a hug. “You listen to Ace and don’t give him any trouble, okay? I mean it, Abbey,” he said sternly, looking doubtfully at the innocent expression on her face. “I’ll pick you up as soon as I can.”

“We’ll be fine,” Ace assured him, following Abbey from the office as she ran to the front to tell Elliott bye. Chris stood up and joined him just outside the door. “I’ll call you if I have any problems. Don’t worry. I’ll see you later.” Ace glanced around to make sure Abbey was out of sight before kissing him quickly. “Bye.”

Ace looked over his shoulder and waved once before going to the front to collect Abbey. She was sitting at one of the pianos pecking out “Mary Had A Little Lamb” on the keyboard. “Where’d you learn to do that?” Ace asked, smiling as she climbed off the bench.

“Daddy taught me,” she answered. “It’s the only song I know how to play.”

“We’ll have to teach you another one, then. Would you like that?” Ace said, taking her hand. Abbey nodded, enthusiastically, asking Ace questions about how long he’d played and how he’d learned as they waved bye to Elliott and made their way to the door.

The questions finally stopped as he buckled her into the backseat amidst protests that she wanted to ride up front with him. Ace ignored her pouting, insisting that it was safer for her to be in the back. He’d seen too many kids brought in from car accidents to ever let her have her way on this one.

They stopped by a Chinese restaurant on the way to Ace’s apartment to pick up some food for dinner. After a few minutes of begging, Ace gave in and carried her across the street to a pet store while they waited for their order. Abbey lit up the minute they walked inside, running over to a cage with a small, fuzzy white puppy in it.

“Hi, puppy,” she whispered, sticking her fingers through the metal bars, grinning when the dog nuzzled her hand. “Look at the puppy, Ace.”

“Don’t you want to look at some of the other animals?” he asked, sensing that her quick attachment to the dog wasn’t good. “They’ve got kittens, rabbits, gerbils…fish,” he suggested, trying to come up with anything that would divert her attention from the white ball of fur licking her hand.

Reluctantly, Abbey left the puppy, letting Ace guide her through the rest of the store. As they neared the front again, Abbey looked up at him. “Can I tell the puppy bye?” she asked, her bottom lip quivering just a little.

Ace let her pet the animal one more time before taking her over to the sink by the wall to wash her hands. The bored clerk that had been sitting behind the counter since they arrived perked up at Abbey’s interest in the puppy and followed them to the sink, launching into his best sales pitch before Ace cut him off.

“Just looking,” he said, handing Abbey a paper towel to dry her hands. He offered him an apologetic smile and shrug as he led Abbey out of the store. He held her hand tightly as they crossed the road. “Abbey, you know we couldn’t take the dog with us. Your dad would kill me if you came home with a puppy. I know they’re cute and fun, but they’re a lot of responsibility, too.”

“That’s what Daddy always says,” Abbey muttered, sullenly. She continued to pout as they went in the restaurant, and Ace paid for their food. She didn’t say another word as they went back to the car.

“You know,” Ace said, making sure she was fastened in her seat before climbing behind the wheel. “I heard that you’re the Candyland champ. I don’t suppose you’d want to play when we get to my apartment?” Her frown wavered just a little, and she gave a grumpy nod. “I’m warning you,” Ace said, glancing at her in the rearview mirror, “I’m pretty good.”

“I’m _really_ good,” Abbey insisted, forgetting that she was supposed to be mad with Ace. “I always beat Daddy _and_ Aunt De.” She rambled on, telling him a story about the last time she’d played the game with Chris, and Ace breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t think she’d forgotten the puppy entirely, but he’d averted a crisis for now, at least. Making a mental note to never, _ever_ take Abbey to a pet store again, Ace pulled out of the parking lot into traffic, heading back to his apartment for a night of Chinese food and Candyland.


	20. Chapter 20

Chris lifted the box to add it to the stack in the back, wincing and cursing under his breath when it slipped, slamming into his shoulder. He shoved it back into place, giving the bottom one a kick for good measure. Returning to the front with both his shoulder and foot hurting now, he frowned at the leery expression on Elliott’s face.

“What?” he asked, rubbing his shoulder as he leaned against the counter.

“I didn’t say anything,” Elliott shrugged, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at Chris. Chris knew he’d been in a bad mood all day, and it wasn’t fair to make his friend suffer because of it.

“I’m sorry. I’m just having a bad day,” Chris said, holding his hands up helplessly. “Scratch that, I’m having a bad _week_.”

“I kind of noticed. Trouble in paradise?” Elliott asked, keeping his tone light and teasing. Chris knew he was joking, but he wasn’t that far off base. He was trying really hard not to be annoyed with Ace, but for the last week Abbey had mentioned getting a puppy for her birthday at least twice a day. It wasn’t his fault, and Chris knew that Ace never would have taken her to the pet store if he’d known the trouble Chris had had the last time he’d taken her. But he hadn’t and he did, and now Chris had no choice but to tell her no each time she asked, watching her smile fade each time he sat her down and explained why they couldn’t get a dog. Even if the landlord allowed pets, which he didn’t, their apartment was simply too tiny for a dog.

“Ace took Abbey to the pet store,” he said at last, nodding as Elliott cringed. “Yeah.”

“She’s back on the puppy kick again?” Elliott asked. “I don’t suppose you could talk her down to a goldfish?”

Chris looked at him skeptically. “It doesn’t matter. We can’t a get a dog, and that’s that. I hate to disappoint her, but it’s not my choice.” He did feel bad because he knew how much Abbey wanted a pet. He’d had pets growing up, lots of them, and he wanted Abbey to have the same opportunity, but there just wasn’t any way to give her that right now.

“And you blame Ace?” Elliott asked. “Come on, you know he didn’t mean any harm.”

“I know that, and I don’t blame him for anything, not really. I guess…I guess I’m just angry that I can’t give Abbey what she really wants. I’m mad at myself, not Ace,” Chris sighed. Ace had apologized a dozen times for setting this in motion, and Chris wasn’t mad at him. But the truth was, however inadvertently, he had caused it, and it was a headache that Chris didn’t want to deal with right now. Not on top of everything else. “There’s no point in talking about it. It’s not Ace’s fault, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Abbey’s just going to have to understand that she can’t always get what she wants.”

“She’ll get over it. When I was a kid, I wanted a tuba…don’t ask. Anyway, my mom found a neighbor that had an old sousaphone. He brought it over, and she made me carry it around for half an hour.”

“And?” Chris asked, grinning at Elliott’s story despite himself.

“Well, I didn’t want a tuba anymore,” he shrugged. “My point is kids go through phases all the time. By next week, she’ll probably have forgotten all about the dog. Just give it time.”

“I’m hoping her birthday party will distract her some. With all her presents, maybe she won’t think about it as much,” Chris said, even though he really doubted that would happen.

“Speaking of the party, have you talked to your mom?” Elliott asked, almost looking sorry that he’d brought it up when Chris shook his head.

“Well, sort of. She called De to tell her that they’d be at the party, but I haven’t talked to her. I almost don’t care anymore,” Chris said stubbornly, although he knew it had to be obvious to anyone that it was killing him that he wasn’t talking to his mother anymore. From the look on Elliott’s face, he knew he wasn’t fooling him. Ace had even offered not to go when he found out Chris’s parents were going to be there, but Chris had adamantly refused. Abbey had heard them arguing about it and, even though she didn’t really understand what was going on, she’d begged Ace to go to her party. For once, Chris had been happy that it was so hard to say no to her.

He knew he was probably being a little foolhardy, but with the way his mother had treated him since he came out to her, the last thing he was going to let her do was make Ace feel unwanted in Abbey’s life. It was important to him that they present a united front to his parents, and the thought of Ace staying away, to keep them from being uncomfortable, as if they were doing something wrong, was not the way to do that. He hoped if his parents could see them all together, see how much Ace genuinely cared about him and Abbey and how much Abbey adored Ace, that it might be a start to mending their battered relationship. Chris realized he was putting a lot of pressure on a single day, and that it probably wasn’t going to go the way he planned at all, but it was the best he could do right now.

“I hope it works out for you, man,” Elliott said softly, offering Chris a weak smile.

“Yeah, so do I.”

~*~*~*~

“Abbey had a lot of fun this afternoon. Thanks for taking her with you to pick out the party stuff,” Chris said, holding the phone precariously between his ear and shoulder while picking up some random toys scattered across the floor and dropping them into the plastic tub they were supposed to be in.

“It’s her party, she had the right to choose,” Deanna said. “If it were up to me, we would have gone with something a little less…pink.”

Chris chuckled, carrying the tub into Abbey’s room where she was sprawled on the floor in her pajamas playing with her dolls. “Is that Aunt De?” she whispered, tugging on the leg of his pants. “I want to tell her goodnight.”

“Just a sec, princess. Someone wants to talk to you,” he said into the phone, before handing it down to Abbey. He listened for a minute as she chatted animatedly with De, then slipped from the room. He glanced out the window, surprised to see that the light drizzle that had started earlier had turned into a downpour. He stepped closer to the window, looking out onto the soaked street below. A flash of lightening lit up the sky, so bright the streetlights below went out. Chris watched for a minute as they flickered back to life.

“Aunt De had to go,” Abbey said, leaving her room and hanging the phone up. “She said she’d talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay, princess. Why don’t you get ready for…” Chris didn’t have the chance to finish the rest of his sentence as the lights in the apartment went out. “Stay still, Abbey,” Chris said gently, easing his way through the darkness to where she was. He could hear her whimpering slightly as he took her hand. “It’s okay. Just hold onto me, and we’ll get a flashlight.”

“I don’t like the dark, Daddy,” she whispered, clinging to him. Chris picked her up, starting slowly across the room to the kitchen where he kept the flashlight. He was careful, but obviously not careful enough, he thought, as his leg caught the corner of the end table. He winced as he bit his tongue to keep from cursing. “Are you okay?” Abbey asked, wrapping her arms around his neck even tighter.

“Fine,” he managed to choke out, the pain subsiding to a dull ache, and he vaguely wondered how many bruises he’d have by morning. They finally reached the kitchen, and Chris tried to put Abbey down. “Abbey, I can’t look for the flashlight and hold you at the same time,” he insisted, struggling to pry her off of him.

“Daddy, I’m scared,” she sniffled, refusing to let go. Giving up, Chris did the best he could, rifling through the drawers, feeling for the flashlight. At last, his hand closed around it. He pulled it from the drawer, searching for the switch. He pressed the button with his thumb, and the flashlight gave off a weak glow. It wasn’t much, but it was still better than complete darkness, he reasoned.

“There we go,” he grinned. “See, princess? We have light, and the electricity will probably be back on before we know it. Why don’t I read you a couple of books, and then you can go to bed?”

Abbey shook her head. “It’s dark! I don’t want to sleep in my room.” Chris sighed as he glanced at her, seeing where this was going. “Can’t I sleep with you tonight? Please?” Abbey begged, fixing her eyes on him and biting her bottom lip.

“Okay,” he relented. “Because of the storm. Let’s get a book so we can read.” He cringed at the pain in his shoulder, the effort of carrying Abbey putting a strain on where he’d hurt it earlier. He shifted the flashlight to the other hand as he crossed the living room, stopping by Abbey’s to get a couple of books. He scanned the shelf quickly, finally just grabbing a chapter book since he knew he’d be reading for awhile.

“I want my pillow, Daddy,” Abbey said as he turned to leave. Chris looked at her, unsure how he was going to carry her, the pillow, the flashlight and the book. Dropping the book and flashlight on the bed for a second, he stuffed the pillow under his arm. “Daddy! Wilbur!” Abbey insisted. Struggling, he reached down and caught the stuffed animal’s ear between two fingers, handing it to Abbey before he could drop it. She opened her mouth, to ask for something else he assumed, but seeing the look on his face, quickly closed it. “That’s all,” she said meekly.

Chris carried her into his room, dropping the items he was toting on the bed before sinking down on the edge and letting Abbey climb off of him. Abbey pulled back the covers making herself at home. Chris smiled as she fluffed her pillow, clutching tightly to Wilbur as she pulled the blanket around her. Chris yawned, closing his eyes for a second to listen to the storm outside before settling beside her. Abbey snuggled close to him, holding up the light for him to read by.

“Thanks, princess,” he said, kissing the top of her head. He thumbed through the well-worn copy of _Wayside School is Falling Down_ , stopping at one of her favorite stories. “Benjamin still hadn’t told anybody he wasn’t Mark Miller,” Chris began, smiling as Abbey giggled, already knowing how the story would end.

He’d read three of the short stories before the light began to waver as Abbey nodded off to sleep. He took the flashlight from her, reading softly until he was sure she was asleep. He laid the book on the nightstand, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. His arm, trapped under Abbey, was starting to go to sleep, so he shifted carefully, trying not to wake her up, and pulled his arm free.

He climbed off the bed cautiously, pausing as she stirred in her sleep, before grabbing his cell phone and stepping just outside the door. He tried his home phone first, but given the scope of the storm, Ace’s power was probably out, too, he realized as it rang and rang. He called his cell then, frowning when he got his voice mail, and hung up without leaving a message.

He edged back into the room, laying the phone on the dresser before stretching out beside Abbey. He watched her sleep for a minute, grinning at the way she held Wilbur tight, even in her sleep. Tired, Chris laid back on his pillow, letting his eyes drift shut, the faint sounds of the storm lulling him closer to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Ace pulled into Deanna’s driveway, a little surprised that Chris wasn’t there yet. He parked the car, then went around to the passenger-side to get the cake. He lifted it carefully, closing the door with his foot and keeping a firm grip on the cake. He hadn’t even made it to the door yet when it opened, and Deanna stuck her head out, grinning at him.

“Boy, am I glad to see you,” she said. “Here let me take that. Did you get the balloons, too?” she asked, taking the cake and frowning when he didn’t say anything. “Ace, tell me you didn‘t forget the balloons.”

“They’re in the car,” he assured her. “With presents and the extra napkins you asked me to pick up. I didn‘t forget anything.”

“Great. Let me take this in, and then I’ll give you a hand,” she said, disappearing into the house before he could answer. Ace went back to his car, pulling clusters of pink and white balloons from the backseat. “Oh, those are perfect!” Deanna exclaimed, joining him in the driveway. “Abbey’s going to love this.”

“Where are they anyway?” Ace asked, handing over the balloons and opening the trunk to get out his present, plus one from his mom and dad, and one from Ryan. “When I talked to Chris it sounded like they were on their way.”

“He just called. They should be here any minute,” she told him, watching as the stack of gifts wobbled precariously. Ace shifted a little, trying to balance them as they started towards the house. “We can take all of this stuff around back,” she said, leading the way. Gratefully, Ace deposited his presents on a table, glancing around at the transformation Deanna’s backyard had gone through.

“Anybody home?” Chris called as he and Abbey appeared around the side of the building.

“Aunt De! It’s so pretty. Thank you,” Abbey squealed, running over to her and hugging her tightly.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”

Ace and Chris grinned at each other as Ace helped him with some of the things he was carrying. “Has she been this excited all morning?” Ace asked, raising an eyebrow as Abbey ran inside to look at the cake, followed by Deanna who was trying to keep her out of it.

“Excited? This is subdued,” Chris told him, curiously shaking Ace’s present. “It’s heavy,” he said putting it back on the table. Ace smirked at the childish behavior, watching as he restacked the gifts to make room for the others that would be coming. “Your parents and Ryan?” Chris asked, surprised, as he scanned the tags. “They didn’t have to.”

Ace shrugged. “They wanted to. I…” The rest of his sentence was lost as Deanna called to them from the kitchen. “We better go.”

Before long, the backyard was swarming with fifteen or so kindergarteners. Between the three of them, and a couple of other parents who were hanging around, they managed to keep them under control. With “Happy Birthday” sung and candles blown out, Deanna began to cut the cake, while Ace ducked back inside to grab the dip from the fridge. He was on his way back to the party when the doorbell rang. He glanced out the window, but Chris and Deanna were too busy to bother right now. It rang again, and Ace realized he had no choice but to answer the door. He set the dip on the table, pushing through the door into the living room and opening the front door. Chris’s mom frowned when she saw him, but didn’t say anything with his dad standing right behind her.

“Come in,” Ace said, moving out of the way. “Everyone’s in the back.”

“Ace! Where are you? We’re waiting for the…” Chris called, freezing when he spotted his parents standing in the door with Ace. “Mom. Dad, hi. Um…”

“Why don’t you take the present to the party?” Sandra suggested to her husband. “I need to speak to Chris.” Ace followed Pete out of the room, hanging back slightly, not wanting to eavesdrop, but knowing that Chris was probably going to be upset by whatever she said. He stopped in the kitchen to pick up the dip, pausing as he heard their voices.

“I can’t believe you invited him,” Sandra said, not bothering to lower her voice. “If I had known…”

“Ace is here because Abbey and I both wanted him to be here. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but if you’d bothered to call _me_ back and let me know you were coming, I could have told you. If you have a problem with him being here, you don’t have to stay,” Chris said, the edge of defiance in his voice _almost_ masking the hurt.

“Chris, it’s Abbey’s birthday. I have a right to be here,” she insisted.

“So does Ace,” Chris said, his voice softening so that Ace had to struggle to make out the words. “I don’t want to have to choose between you, but if you make me…I choose Ace.”

Ace slipped out the backdoor, feeling guilty for eavesdropping, and unable to listen any longer. He handed the dip to Deanna, shaking his head when she gave him a questioning look. His eyes drifted across the crowd, and he spotted Abbey chattering to her grandfather. He watched them for a minute, the way she smiled at him, how much he obviously adored her, and felt even worse than he had a few minutes before.

Sandra left the house with Chris following stiffly behind her. She moved quickly across the yard, giving Abbey a hug and whispering something to Pete. He looked confused as she lead the way back to the house. “But why are we leaving?” Ace heard him ask as they got closer.

“Yeah, Mom. Are you going to tell him or should I?” Chris asked, crossing his arms, his face blank as he watched them. Sandra’s lips pressed into a thin line as she glared at him. She shook her head slightly and turned to leave. His dad shot him a ‘we’ll-talk-about-this-later’ look, and followed his wife.

Chris went back inside without saying anything, and cautiously, Ace went with him. “I couldn’t do it,” Chris said softly, his head resting in his hands as he sat at the table. “Damn it! I should have told him.”

Ace was silent for a second, not knowing what to say. “It’s okay,” he said at last, the words sounding as hollow as he knew they would.

Chris looked up at him, finally. “No, it’s not. It’s never going to be okay.” He rubbed his eyes with his hands and let out a sigh. “Right,” he said, clearing his throat. “We’ve got to go out there and open presents.”

“Chris…”

“I can’t do this right now, Ace, okay?” he said, brushing past him as he went back outside. Ace stood in the doorway, watching as Chris and Deanna rounded up all the kids, sitting them all in a semi-circle so Abbey could open her gifts. She tore into the paper, sending wrapping everywhere. There were dolls and books, toys of every shape and size, and Abbey smiled gleefully at each one until Chris took it from her, placing it in a box he’d brought, and Deanna handed her the next gift, telling her who it was from.

“Here you go. This is from Ace,” Deanna told her, pulling the box over on the table so Abbey could reach it. “Let me help you,” De said as she struggled to open the box under the wrapping paper.

“Oh, it’s pretty!” Abbey gushed, pulling the blanket from the box, pressing it to her cheek. She pulled it back to look at it, her fingers tracing over the Care Bears that decorated it. Deanna looked at him, nodding her approval, and Ace grinned as he glanced over at Chris. He couldn’t quite read the expression on his face as he took the quilt from Abbey, adding it to her pile of presents.

Ace tried to catch Chris’s eye as Abbey finished unwrapping the rest of her gifts, but Chris was taking great pains not to look at him. Ace didn’t know exactly what had happened, but ever since Chris’s parents left, things had gone from bad to worse. And he couldn’t fix it if he didn’t know what was wrong. Chris managed to avoid him for the rest of the party, until the kids were all gone and the trash was cleaned up and stuffed into the garbage can.

“De, can you watch Abbey for a few minutes? I have an errand to run,” Chris explained, stuffing a few leftover party favors into Abbey’s box of presents.

“Yeah, sure,” De answered. “She’s watching a movie. She probably won’t even know you’re gone.”

“Thanks.” Chris grabbed the box, taking it around to his car, while Ace followed him with what was left of the cake. They were both silent as they walked, not the comfortable silence that Ace had grown accustomed to, but a tense silence that he was nervous to break. “You shouldn’t have bought her that,” Chris said at last as he shoved the box into the backseat of the car.

“What?” Ace asked, surprised, handing the cake over to Chris and letting him put it in the car. “You said she would love it, and she did. What’s the problem?”

“You just shouldn’t have,” Chris said again, climbing behind the wheel and slamming the door. Ace took a step toward the car, ducking down the talk to Chris through the open window.

“Where are you going?” he asked, walking beside the car as it backed up.

“I’ll be back soon,” Chris said, glancing up at him, his eyes softening a little as he took in what Ace knew had to be complete bewilderment on his face. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Ace muttered, his confusion giving way to anger as he watched Chris pull out of the driveway and start down the street. Slowly, he walked back up the driveway, sinking onto the steps of Deanna’s back porch, trying to figure out where things had gone so wrong, and what he might have done. Quietly, Deanna sat beside him, rubbing his back lightly. He didn’t really want anyone to see him this upset, but at the same time, he was happy she was there.

“Don’t take it personally, Ace. Today is always hard on him,” she said softly, squeezing his shoulder.

“Today?” he asked, confused, looking at Deanna. “Why should today…Sara. God, I can’t believe I forgot,” Ace berated himself. “And then everything with his parents…no wonder…no wonder he’s upset.”

“And you’re just a convenient target to take it out on. It’s not fair, but…it doesn’t really have anything to do with you. Not really,” she assured him. “Can you imagine what it’s like, every birthday being a reminder? Never being able to fully celebrate the day because it’s so bittersweet. And Abbey’s not really old enough to understand that yet, but she will be soon. It’s hard on him.”

“I know,” Ace answered, softly.

“I don’t think you really do,” Deanna told him, holding up a finger to stop him as he started to interrupt. “I’m not saying you don’t understand as much as you can, it’s just…You weren’t there, Ace. Chris was devastated when Sara died. Those first few months, I was really worried about him.”

“It was really bad, wasn’t it?” Ace asked, trying to wrap his mind around this whole part of Chris’s life that he’d only been given glimpses of. “He’s told me about Sara, but not anything that happened afterwards. You’re right. I really don’t know anything about what he went through.” But how could he, Ace thought, when Chris hated talking about that time in his life so much? How could he be there for him, to know when he really needed him, if there were still things Chris wouldn’t talk to him about?

“Just give him some time,” Deanna suggested. “I need to check on Abbey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I need to go anyway,” Ace told her. “Thanks, you know, for telling me all of that.”

“No problem,” Deanna smiled, climbing from the steps. “I’ll see you later.”

Ace nodded, sitting there a few minutes after she left. His anger at Chris’s unexplained animosity had faded, but he couldn’t forgive him entirely. Chris had completely shut him out this afternoon. Instead of talking to him, instead of trying to work out whatever was bothering him, he’d chosen to ignore him. Ace couldn’t pretend that that didn’t hurt. He’d tried to be open and honest with Chris from the beginning, but it had to be a two-way street, and right now, it didn’t feel like it was at all.


	22. Chapter 22

Chris paused for just a second, shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand while he read the familiar words on the stone in front of him. He bit his lip as he stepped forward, placing a bouquet of wild flowers that he’d picked up on his way on top of the smooth granite. In his entire life, he’d stood in this spot exactly six times, each time thinking it would be easier than the last, but it never was. If anything, it became harder, year after year, the pain hitting him just when he least expected it, just when he thought that maybe this time would be different. Maybe, he thought, if he could bring himself to come here more often it wouldn’t hurt so much, but he knew that it would be another year before he set foot here again.

He knelt down beside the grave, his eyes lingering on the carved hearts, his fingers brushing gently over Sara’s name. The unfairness of all of this struck him as it had so many times before, and he swallowed hard, pulling his hand away. Sara should be here. She should be celebrating birthdays and holidays, taking Abbey to her first day of school, holding her when she scraped her knee and brushing away the tears. It made his heart catch in his throat every time he thought of all the things Abbey would never have her mother to do with her. De was wonderful, taking Abbey shopping and doing all of those ‘girl things’ that Chris was clueless about, but it wasn’t the same, and they all realized that even if they never talked about it.

“You should have seen her today,” he said softly, smiling faintly to himself. “She looks more and more like you every day, and she’s growing up so fast. You’d be really proud of her.”

He felt silly, kneeling there, talking to himself, but he couldn’t deny that he took a certain amount of comfort in the act. It was nice to be able to talk freely, and not worry about what anyone else thought. He didn’t have to put on a brave face for Abbey, or a happy one for Ace, or even a defiant one for his mother. He could simply say what he felt. “God, Sara, you wouldn’t believe the mess I’ve made of things.”

He was silent for a minute as he fidgeted with a blade of grass. There was something cathartic about saying all of this out loud, but he wasn’t sure he deserved that sort of absolution, not when he’d brought all of his problems on himself. Chris sighed. “Mom’s barely speaking to me. I always told you she wouldn’t understand, but you were always so damn optimistic. Ace reminds me a lot of you in that,” he said, his lips curving into the barest hint of a smile at the mention of his name. “He keeps telling me to just give her time, to talk to her, that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, but…I don’t think it’s doing any good.”

Chris tilted his head up to look at the sky. Despite all the other worries on his mind, one kept leaping to the forefront over and over, even more so now that he was here, his troubles falling from his lips in this strange sort of confession. When he’d seen that blanket today, he’d felt like the biggest failure in the world, knowing that other people could give his daughter things that he couldn’t. It had only made him feel worse, despite telling her over and over that it wasn’t going to happen, when she’d opened her last present, and there was still no puppy. Abbey had smiled and hugged him and told him she understood, but he’d seen the disappointment in her eyes. It might be a part of life, one that she was going to have to accept, but he would much rather other people be disappointing her than him. He was supposed to be able to make anything better, and he couldn’t even give her what she wanted for her birthday. He was doing his best, Chris knew that he was, but maybe that just wasn’t enough anymore.

“I wish you were still here,” he whispered. “You convinced me I could do this in the first place, and the last thing I want to do is let you and Abbey down.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting, maybe a sudden moment of clarity or divine intervention to point him in the right direction, but nothing happened. Scoffing at himself, Chris climbed to his feet, his legs aching from the crouching position he’d been in for so long. He stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, wanting to leave, but unable to tear himself away.

He heard shoes shuffling on the concrete behind him, the sounds stopping a few feet before they reached him. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was, maybe he’d been waiting here for him all along without even realizing it, but, no, that was absurd. He’d left a lot of things unsaid earlier, and he wasn’t going to make that mistake again. He felt him move forward, standing beside him, but he still didn’t look in his direction.

“Mom’s not going to be happy you’re here,” Chris said at last.

“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t have to run everything I do by your mother,” his father told him. Chris finally glanced over at him, arching his eyebrow skeptically as he tried to read his dad’s face. “Okay…she thinks I’m with your brother.”

Chris grinned at that, happy that some things, at least, never changed. He nodded in understanding, but didn’t say anything. His dad patted his shoulder, then started back down the path to the parking area giving Chris little choice but to follow him. They walked in silence for a moment before Pete broached the subject looming between them. “So, do you want to tell me what happened this morning?”

Chris thought that, having made up his mind to tell his father everything, this would somehow be easier, but it wasn’t. He still couldn’t seem to find the words to explain this to him, and the fear that his dad would react like his mom almost paralyzed him. “I don’t know where to start,” he said at last, trying to buy some time while he sorted through everything in his mind.

“That’s a bunch of bull,” his dad said bluntly.

Chris had to admire the straightforward way his dad approached things, and he knew that he owed his father the same kind of honesty. Chris stopped walking, his eyes glued to the ground as he started to speak. “Mom’s upset because… because she found out I’m gay.” He tried to make himself look at his dad, but he couldn’t. The silence dragged out, and Chris bit his lip hard, shaking his head as he started moving again, walking as fast as he could away from his father.

“Chris, wait!” Pete called after him, jogging to catch up with him. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that and run away.”

They looked at each other a minute without saying anything, Chris tense and ready to go on the defense at any second, and his father looking genuinely bewildered by everything that had happened.

“Look, that was the last thing I expected, so just…give me a minute,” Pete said firmly.

The tone of his voice calmed Chris considerably. There was an abrasiveness to it that stemmed, not from anger or antipathy like his mom’s, but rather from the suddenness with which this had all been thrown at him. It was a subtle difference, but one Chris had had a lot of practice distinguishing over the years. His father wasn’t going to dismiss him or kick him out of his life, which, Chris realized, was exactly what he had feared the most.

“Just…Come on,” Pete said as he started moving again. The quietness wasn’t as awkward as it had been before as they continued to the parking lot. Chris followed his dad to his car, sinking down into the passenger seat while he waited for his father to climb behind the wheel. “I think you’d better start at the beginning,” his dad said, staring out the window, the words his only acknowledgment that there was anyone else in the car.

The words came easier now, but there were still long pauses and stilted phrases as Chris struggled to tell his father everything that had happened. Pete remained silent, listening intently to his son’s story without asking any questions, even though Chris knew he must have plenty. “That’s pretty much it,” Chris concluded. “You saw what happened today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” his dad asked, finally turning to look at him. “Once your mom knew, why didn’t you tell me?”

“She asked me not to,” Chris answered quietly.

“She shouldn’t have done that,” Pete told him, the anger in his voice surprising Chris. “I’m _sorry_ she did that. Look, I might not…understand this, and it’s going to take me awhile to get used to it, but…you’re still my son. That doesn’t change.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Pete shrugged. “Your mom will come around. It just might take awhile. You know you get your stubborn streak from her. I’ll talk to her.”

“Thanks,” Chris repeated. “Um, I should really get going. I’ve got to pick Abbey up from De’s. I’m already late.”

“I think she was expecting you to be a little late,” Pete told him. Chris nodded, his unasked question of how his dad found him answered at last. “Before you go,” he said causing Chris to pause as he opened the car door. “This, uh, Ace…that you’re seeing. I’d like to meet him sometime.”

Chris could tell his dad was making an effort, and it meant a lot to him, especially after the way his mom had been acting for the last few weeks. Given the way this day had started, it was suddenly looking a lot brighter.

“I’d like that, too, Dad.”

~*~*~*~

Chris shoved a forkful of leftover chocolate cake in his mouth, glaring at the television screen even though he wasn’t watching it. His good mood had evaporated quickly after he left his dad, and his emotions had run the gamut from worried to remorseful to fucking _pissed_ , which was where he was right now.

So, okay, Ace was mad at him, he knew that. And as much as he hated to admit it, he had every right to be. He’d acted like a complete jerk at the party, but he couldn’t apologize if Ace wasn’t talking to him. After countless voice mails and half a dozen calls to the apartment, Chris got the message loud and clear. And just in case he hadn’t, Ryan had finally lost his patience and told him Ace would call him back when he was ready and to _please_ stop calling.

There wasn’t really anything he could do right now, short of going over there and confronting him, which he might have done if it hadn’t meant dragging Abbey halfway across town in the middle of the night. That was clearly a bad idea and, even though he hadn’t been making the best judgment calls lately, he knew for a fact that that would just make everything worse. It was obvious that Ace didn’t want to see him right now, so he had no choice but to wait until he did. _If_ he did.

Chris sighed, his head hitting the back of the couch with a thud. All of his old insecurities about Ace were rearing their ugly heads tonight, and he couldn’t help but think in the back of his mind that maybe this was that other shoe he’d been waiting to be dropped. He’d wondered from the beginning if Ace could deal with all the baggage he came with, if it was even fair to ask him to.

His head was starting to ache, and all he really wanted to do was go to bed and put this day behind him. He took his paper plate and plastic fork into the kitchen and dropped it into the garbage can, grabbing a glass of water to take some aspirin with before leaving the room. He paused for a second in the living room, his eyes falling on the phone, but he fought the urge to try Ace one more time, forcing himself to continue to his bedroom.

Tomorrow. One way or another, he’d deal with this tomorrow.


	23. Chapter 23

Ace kept his eyes closed as he buried his face in his pillow. Maybe, just maybe, if he wished for it hard enough, when he _did_ open his eyes, he would find that all his memories of yesterday were nothing more than a horrible nightmare. Reluctantly, he blinked his eyes open, adjusting to the sudden brightness. For a brief second, it did feel as though it could all be a dream, but then he spotted his cell phone laying where he’d dropped it last night after listening to all the messages Chris had left him.

He groaned as he stared up at the ceiling. Ace still wasn’t sure how everything had gone so wrong, so fast; and he did feel a little guilty for the cold shoulder he’d been giving Chris, but he need some space to think and to figure out just _why_ he was so angry at him. He sighed as he kicked the blankets off and climbed out of bed, trudging out of his room towards the kitchen.

Ryan raised his eyebrows as Ace stumbled into the kitchen, surveying his brother over the top of his coffee mug with a concerned expression etched on his face. Ace ignored him as he fumbled with the coffee pot, pouring himself a cup before slumping down wordlessly in the chair across from Ryan.

“You could call him,” Ryan suggested, raising his hands defensively when Ace glared at him. “It was just a suggestion. I’m going to met Marc. You want to come?” he asked, draining the last of his coffee and taking the mug to the sink.

Ace thought about it for all of a second before shaking his head. “Nah.”

Ryan hesitated, and Ace was afraid he was going to offer to stay with him. “Fine,” Ryan sighed at last, not arguing with him much to Ace’s relief. “Just promise me you’re not going to sit around here all day moping, okay?”

Ace shrugged, then sensing that Ryan wasn’t going to let it go, he finally nodded. “Yeah, okay. I promise.” Ryan gave him one more dubious look before leaving the kitchen, and a few minutes later, he called goodbye, the slamming of the door assuring Ace that he was gone. He sighed, wandering into the living room and flopping down on the sofa.

Ace had thought that he wanted some time alone to think, but all he’d been doing since yesterday was think and so far he hadn’t made much sense of the muddled mess of anger and confusion Chris had left him with. Ace covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes roughly with his palms. Frustrated, he hit the back of the couch with his fist, cursing out loud.

Maybe getting out of the house wasn’t such a bad idea, Ace reasoned. He wasn’t getting anything done here, and if Chris did call again, he definitely wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. Making up his mind, and happy that he had at least a rough plan for the day, Ace pulled his t-shirt off as he made his way to the bathroom, shedding the rest of his clothing before stepping into the shower.

He adjusted the temperature to as hot as he could stand it, letting the jets of water hit the back of his neck and his shoulders, easing out some of the tension that had been building there since yesterday. Ace hated arguing with people in general, he just wasn’t a very confrontational person, but the fact that he was arguing with Chris just made it that much worse. He lost track of time as his mind wandered, and the water had turned lukewarm by the time he stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist.

Ace dressed quickly, pulling on an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He wasn’t going very far, maybe just around the block a couple of times to get some fresh air and clear his mind. He slipped his shoes on and grabbed his keys, making sure the door was locked before he started down the stairs.

It was nice out, sunny and warm, which normally would have improved his disposition, but today just made him feel worse than he already did. Everyone else he passed seemed to be enjoying the weather, and Ace wondered when he’d missed the shift from winter to spring. He paused, watching a couple of kids on their bikes, thinking briefly that he and Chris should take Abbey to the park to ride hers before remembering that he wasn’t speaking to him at the moment. He continued on his trek, thinking that this had been a mistake. He should have stayed at home where he could be as miserable as he wanted without being reminded that the rest of the world was happy. A small voice in the back of his mind pointed out that Chris wasn’t happy either, but if that was supposed to make him feel better, it didn’t.

As he rounded the corner back onto his street, Ace glanced at his watch. He hadn’t been gone very long, but at least he’d gotten out of the apartment, so he hadn’t _technically_ lied to Ryan. The outer door to the building slammed shut behind him as Ace started up the stairs. He reached the landing, stopping with his hand still on the railing as he looked down the hall at the familiar figure standing outside his door. Quietly, he watched as Chris raised his hand to knock, then hesitated, dropping it and muttering something Ace couldn’t make out under his breath. Ace couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at his lips as he watched Chris nervously steel himself to knock on the door. Chris raised his hand again, this time not stopping until his fist had made contact with the door in several short, staccato knocks. He backed away from the door as he listened for any kind of response from inside. Shaking his head, he turned away, covering a couple of feet before he spotted Ace at the end of the hallway.

“Hey,” Chris said, biting his lip and looking down at the floor before glancing back up at Ace.

“Hey,” Ace echoed, forcing himself to move from the spot he’d been frozen in. He busied himself with digging his keys out of his pocket as he closed the distance between them. He wasn’t sure he was ready to see Chris, and he didn’t have a clue what to say to him. He was trying to decided if he wanted to invite Chris in or ask him to leave, when Chris made the decision for him.

“Do you think we could talk?” Chris asked as Ace brushed past him to unlock his door. “Please?”

“I don’t know…” Ace began, his sentence trailing off as he looked at Chris. He felt his resolve weakening, and he hated himself for it.

“Just…just give me a chance to apologize for yesterday, okay?”

“Fine,” Ace sighed, pushing the door open and going inside, leaving the door open and Chris standing out in the hall. Chris followed him in, closing the door behind them. Ace knew he should be civil, invite him in, ask him to sit down, all the things his mother would be frowning about right now, but instead, he leaned against the back of the sofa, crossing his arms defensively, and looked expectantly at Chris. “So?”

Chris was obviously choosing his words carefully, and it took him a few seconds to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. “I’m sorry. That’s not easy for me to say, but I can admit when I’m wrong. And I was _really_ wrong yesterday.”

“Yeah, you were,” Ace nodded and waited for him to continue. Part of him wanted to forgive Chris then and there, but he knew this was only a portion of a bigger problem, and if they didn’t deal with it now, they might not have another chance.

“Look, if you’re not going to hear me out, tell me now, and I’ll save my breath,” Chris said, the words coming out more weary than harsh. “I know you’re mad at me, but I’m trying, okay?”

“You’re right,” Ace said finally, rubbing the bridge of his nose, trying to stop the throbbing starting between his eyes. “Do you wanna sit down?”

“Thanks,” Chris nodded, taking the chair, while Ace sat on the end of the couch. “I know I made mistakes, and I’m not trying to justify it or make excuses. I mean, yeah, yesterday was a really bad day, but I handled it badly, and I take full responsibility for that. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you because none of it was your fault. I’m sorry for that.”

“I know that Abbey’s birthday is tough on you,” Ace said softly. “I understand that, but I’m not a mind reader. If something’s bothering you, you have to tell me.”

“I know that,” Chris told him. “And I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

Ace frowned, hoping that what he had just said had gotten through to Chris, but he had a feeling that it really hadn’t. “Well, for starters, why don’t you tell me why you got so upset about that blanket because I don’t think it really had anything to do with the actual gift at all,” Ace said.

“It’s nothing. I just overreacted,” Chris shrugged, looking at the floor as he spoke.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Ace sighed, standing up. He paced around the room as he tried to find a way to make Chris understand what he was trying to say. “You might say it’s nothing, but it’s clearly not. If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how do you expect me to know? If I did something…”

“You didn’t, okay? It was me. Now will you just drop it?” Chris asked, standing up, too, trying to reach out to Ace and reassure him and calm him. Ace shook him off, turning his back to him for a second as he tried to decide if this was worth pushing, but he knew he had to.

“No! Because I can’t constantly be walking on eggshells around you, afraid that something I do is going to upset you like that again. I won’t do that. So either tell me now or…” Ace trailed off, not sure he could deliver the ultimatum left hanging in the air.

“Or what?” Chris prompted flatly, crossing his arms and frowning at him.

Ace took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. It took every ounce of strength he had to choke out the next few words, but once they were said, he couldn’t take them back. “Or you should leave.”

Chris stared at him silently for a minute making Ace both flustered and annoyed. He knew he was in the right this time, and he hated the way Chris had of making him feel like he was wrong, even when he hadn’t done anything. “You’re right,” Chris said finally, and Ace breathed a sigh of relief, glad that they’d seemingly avoided what, a few minutes ago, had looked like an impasse. “I should go.”

Ace gaped at him, sure that he hadn’t heard Chris right. He recovered quickly, nodding his head slightly. “I’m not asking a lot of you, and if you can’t do that then, yeah, you should.”

Chris didn’t move for a second, and Ace hoped that he’d changed his mind, but then he turned and walked to the door. He only hesitated slightly before opening it, not glancing back or saying anything to Ace as he left the apartment, quietly closing the door behind him.

Ace still couldn’t believe what had just happened. He wanted to run after him, tell him that it didn’t matter, that they’d work through whatever problems they had just as long as they didn’t leave things like this, but he seemed rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but stare at the door that Chris has just left through.

Ace finally forced himself to move. He crossed the room, pausing with his hand on the door knob, saying a silent prayer that when he opened the door, Chris would still be there and they could fix this. He swallowed hard and pulled open the door. Instead of Chris all he saw was an empty hallway. Ace scoffed at himself. This was real life, not some silly romantic comedy, of course Chris wasn’t there. He slowly closed the door, feeling lost and unsure of what he was going to do now.

In a matter of minutes, his whole world had been turned upside down, and he didn’t have the first clue how to right it this time.


	24. Chapter 24

“Daddy?” Abbey asked as she climbed up on the couch beside Chris, tucking her legs under her as she turned to look at him. He smiled at her, dropping the magazine he was skimming through onto the coffee table.

“I thought you were playing. What is it, princess?” He knew that she was enjoying the extra time he’d been spending with her the last couple of weeks, but he really hoped she wasn’t going to ask him to play dolls with her again. The occasional tea party he could take, but Barbie fashion shows were a little out of his element.

“I know you have to work tomorrow,” she started, “but why do I have to stay with Aunt De? Why can’t Ace come over and watch me?”

Chris had been dreading this, knowing that sooner or later Abbey was going to ask about Ace’s conspicuous absence. He wanted to be honest with her, but he didn’t know how to explain that Ace wasn’t going to be babysitting anymore without having to go into things with her that he wasn’t ready to yet. “Ace is really busy with work right now, okay?” he lied. “You’ll have fun with Aunt De. She’s really looking forward to spending the day with you.”

“How long is Ace going to be busy?” she asked. “I miss him.”

“I do, too, princess,” Chris said softly, forcing a smile for her. “I’ll tell you what. You be good for Aunt De tomorrow, and Sunday afternoon, I’ll take you to the park. How does that sound?”

“Can Ace come or will he still be busy?”

Chris sighed. “I don’t know, Abbey. We’ll see.”

“Okay,” she nodded, apparently satisfied, at least for now, with his answers. Chris watched as she ran back to her room, plopping down on the floor with a bunch of stuffed animals she had in a semicircle. He wasn’t sure how long he would be able to make up excuses that she would buy about why Ace wasn’t around, but he just couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth.

He hadn’t seen or talked to Ace in over two weeks since their big fight. Even though neither of them had actually said the words, it seemed obvious to Chris that it was over, but saying it out loud to Abbey would make the whole thing seem so real and final, and the thought of never seeing Ace again made his stomach twist up in knots. He’d gotten so used to Ace being around all the time, that now that he wasn’t, things just felt weird.

Chris knew that if there was any way to fix this, it was up to him to find it and make the first move, but he wasn’t even sure at this point if what he and Ace had was salvageable. If he couldn’t let his guard down enough to tell Ace what was bothering him, how could they possibly make this work? What right did he have to even try if he couldn’t be honest with Ace? Chris let out a long, frustrated sigh. No matter what he’d told himself during the last couple of weeks, _this_ was what had kept him from picking up the phone and calling Ace. Ace couldn’t answers his questions for him, couldn’t solve his problems or resolve his issues, he had to do this by himself, and having Ace around only made him more confused. He couldn’t make Ace understand until he did.

Chris shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He stood up from the couch, stretching slightly as his stiff muscles protested the sudden movement. He crossed the room, leaning against the frame of Abbey’s door, watching her play. This was all that really mattered, Chris reminded himself, biting back a smile. Abbey was healthy and happy, and the rest of it - his parents, Ace, work - didn’t mean nearly as much as that.

“Hi, Daddy,” Abbey said, glancing up from the doll‘s hair she was brushing for a second to look at him. “Do you want to play?” she asked, moving over on the floor to make room for him. “You can be Ken,” she said, picking the toy up from the pile beside her.

“Really? I get to be Ken this time?” he asked, settling on the floor next to her, determined to do whatever he could to keep her happy. And if that meant playing with Barbies, then so be it.

Abbey giggled. “Don’t be silly, Daddy. Of course you have to be Ken, he’s the only boy,” she told him matter-of-factly.

“Oh, okay, then,” Chris grinned, taking the doll from her. He listened as Abbey explained what she was doing, and who all the other dolls were supposed to be, wondering how she’d come up with such a complicated scenario and how he was ever going to keep it all straight.

They played for awhile, until Abbey got frustrated with him and suggested they quit. Chris wasn’t sure if he was offended or relieved as he helped her clean up the toys and then sent her to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She came back into the room dressed in her pajamas and climbed onto the bed as Chris skimmed the bookshelf for a story to read to her. He picked one she’d gotten for her birthday that they hadn’t started yet, and turned back to the bed to find her already under the covers, snuggled beneath the blanket Ace had given her. She’d slept with it every night since she’d gotten it, and it still made Chris pause when he saw it. “Alright,” he said, clearing his throat. “Ready?”

Abbey nodded, pulling the blanket around her even tighter as Chris settled onto the mattress beside her. “What are we reading?” she asked, trying see the front of the thick book he was holding. Chris held it up so she could see the cover.

“ _The Phantom Tollbooth_ ,” he said as Abbey tried to sound out the words. “I loved this book when I was little. I think you will, too.” Happily, Abbey cuddled up against him as he flipped open the cover of the book and started to read, “There was once a boy named Milo...” Abbey giggled so much and begged him to keep reading so earnestly, that Chris had read three chapters before he put his foot down and told her that she needed to go to sleep.

“But I’m not tired,” she complained as he put the book back on the shelf. “Why do I have to go to sleep when I’m not sleepy? I’m six now,” she reminded him, pouting up at him as he kissed her forehead.

“Even six-year-olds have to go to sleep,” he assured her. “Goodnight.” She muttered an answer, muffled even further as she hugged her pillow, and Chris grinned as he turned out her light. “Sleep tight, princess.”

~*~*~*~

“Abbey! If you still want to go to the park, you’ll be here by the time I count to three,” Chris called. “One...two...”

“I’m coming,” Abbey called, running into the living room carrying her shoes in her hands. “The laces are all tangled, and I can’t untangle them,” she complained, handing them over to Chris. He took the shoes, looking at them doubtfully as he tugged at the knot she’d gotten in them.

“How did you do this?” Chris asked, following her into the kitchen. Abbey shrugged as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a juice box. As she sipped it, she looked up at him worriedly as he tried to fix her laces. He pried at the knot, yanking at the shoestrings until they were free. “Here you go,” Chris said, giving them back to her. “Go put them on, and let’s go.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” Abbey grinned, handing him the empty juice carton. Chris threw it away, trailing behind her as she left the kitchen, climbing onto the couch with her shoes and pulling them on. She fumbled with tying the laces for a minute before she finally had them tied. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Chris looked at her skeptically. “We’re not going to get downstairs and you suddenly remember something you forgot, are we?” Abbey shook her head, promising that she had everything. “Alright, let’s go,” Chris said, grabbing his keys from their spot by the door and shoving them in his pocket. “We’re gonna have fun, right?”

“Yeah,” Abbey grinned, holding his hand as they walked to the elevator. They made the short trek to the park in about ten minutes. Chris let her run over to the swings when she recognized a friend from school while he scouted out the best spot to watch her from. He settled on a picnic table a few feet from the slide. He sat with his back to the table, his elbows resting on it as he watched her play.

“Hi,” said a familiar voice from behind him. Chris jerked his head up sharply, glancing over his shoulder. Ace was biting his lip nervously, fidgeting with his hands as he stood there waiting for Chris to say something.

“What are you doing here?” Chris asked, unable to keep the shock from his voice as he stood up to look at Ace. He blinked, almost afraid to believe that he was really there. He had never expected to run into Ace, not here of all places.

“What am I...” Ace trailed off, confusion clouding his face for a minute. “I thought...Ryan said...I’m going to kill him,” he muttered, more to himself than to Chris. “It’s just a misunderstanding, forget I was here,” Ace told him turning to leave.

Chris watched him turn to go, caught off guard and not sure what to do. He wanted to stop Ace, wanted him to stay, but he couldn’t make himself say the words. He didn’t fully understand what had just happened, but obviously Ace had known he would be here. “Ace, wait!” he called, glancing over at Abbey to make sure she was still playing before running to catch up with Ace. Ace hesitated, pausing mid-stride before continuing on. “Please!” Chris said softly, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop. “Why are you here?” he repeated quietly when Ace shifted around to face him.

“Look, Ry and De obviously set us up, and you clearly don’t know anything about it, so I’m just going to go. Really, I wish you’d forget I was ever here,” Ace said, jerking his arm away. He started walking again, leaving Chris standing there speechless, but he didn’t get very far.

“Ace!” Abbey called, spotting him and running over. “You came! Daddy said you were busy working,” she smiled, hugging his legs tightly. Chris faltered under the look Ace shot at him as he leaned over and hugged Abbey. “Were you leaving?” she asked, looking back and forth between him and Chris, confused.

“I _am_ really busy,” Ace told her, “And I’ve got to go, but I wanted to come see you. Are you having fun?”

Abbey nodded. “Do you have to go? Can’t you stay? Just for a little while? Please?” Abbey begged. “I’ll let you push me on the swing,” she promised, tugging to Ace’s hand. “Daddy, don’t you want Ace to stay?” she asked, trying to get him to back her up.

Chris glanced away as Ace and Abbey both looked at him. He was struggling between what he wanted to do and what he thought he should do. He wasn’t sure that he and Ace could ignore their differences long enough to hang out at the park with Abbey, and he didn’t want to give himself the false hope that they were going to be able to work everything out. Chris stalled, not sure what to say.

“I’d really like to stay, Abbey, but...” Ace started.

“Then do,” Chris interrupted, forcing all of his doubts out of his mind and doing what he _felt_ was right. “Please? We’d both really like it if you could stay.”

“Yeah?” Ace asked, smiling and glancing down at Abbey. “Well, I, um...I guess I can stay for a little while.” Abbey beamed, running back to the swings, slowing down as Chris yelled after her not to run.

“Thank you,” Chris said quietly. “She’s really missed you...We both have.” Ace opened his mouth to answer, but shut it, shaking his head. He glanced at Chris one more time before joining Abbey at the swings.


	25. Chapter 25

Ace frowned as he nervously tapped the steering wheel in front of him. He’d been sitting in his car outside of Chris’s apartment building for over ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to go inside. He’d enjoyed the time he’d spent with them earlier even if he had spent it mainly playing with Abbey and pretending to ignore Chris. He thought about just going home and forgetting this, but he was still mad at Ryan, and it was probably better if he didn’t go back just yet. He couldn’t believe his brother would lie to him like that. It had been embarrassing and humiliating to realize that Chris didn’t have any idea that he was going to be there, and the more Ace thought about it, the madder he got at Ryan. Even if his brother did have his best interest in mind, and Ace could admit that Ryan’s intentions had been good, he still didn’t appreciate him interfering in his life. He would never, _ever_ do something so devious to Ryan.

Chris had been sincere, though, when he invited Ace over, and as angry as he was with him, Ace still felt that he owed him the chance to explain or...whatever it was he was hoping to accomplish tonight. Ace doubted whether or not they could get past this, but they at least deserved a shot, and he was willing to give them that. If nothing else, maybe they could walk away from all of this as friends, even though Ace knew he would never really be happy with that.

Sighing, Ace finally climbed out of the car, slamming the door hard as he started toward the building. He made his way up the stairs slowly, giving himself time to change his mind if he suddenly decided he didn’t want to do this. In all the months he’d known Chris, he’d never been this nervous about seeing him, not on their first date or even the first time they’d had sex, but then he’d never had this much to lose before either. The last thing he wanted was to go up there and have another fight with Chris; he was tired of the arguing and bickering. It was getting them nowhere, and Ace resolved that no matter what happened, it wasn’t going to end in a shouting match.

Ace was so caught up in his thoughts that he walked right past Chris’s door and had to turn around and backtrack a couple of apartments. He took a deep breath, letting his hand fall against the door in a casual knock that belied his anxiety. He could hear Chris moving around inside, then the lock being turned as the door swung opened. Chris peered out at him, Ace’s nervousness mirrored in his expression.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Chris said, moving out of the way to let Ace into the room. It had been awhile since Ace had been here, and he stood in the middle of the room for just a second looking around. Nothing had changed really, but he had that same feeling he got after being on vacation and coming home to find everything the same, but oddly different.

“I said I would,” Ace said at last, shrugging.

“I guess I just...thought you might have changed your mind,” Chris said, fidgeting with the wristband on his watch as he looked away from Ace. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Where’s Abbey?” Ace asked, feeling that strange mixture of familiarity and foreignness again as he took a seat on the couch.

“She’s with my brother and his family. He’s going to drop her off later,” Chris said, moving toward the couch, but, after an almost imperceptible hesitation, choosing the chair instead. Ace was glad he was being cautious and didn’t assume that everything was fine, but a tiny part of him was disappointed that Chris _hadn’t_ sat beside him.

They were quiet for a moment as an awkward silence filled the void between them. Ace didn’t want seeing Chris to be so uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure _what_ , if anything, he could do to make it any less unnerving. “So...” Ace said finally, unable to stand the silence any longer.

“So...” Chris echoed, his finger drumming restlessly against his knee. He laughed uneasily and offered Ace a weak smile. “I’ve thought so much about what I wanted to say to you, and now that you’re here, I don’t know where to start. I suppose I should just tell you what I’m thinking, that’s what you wanted, right?”

“I don’t want you to open up to me because that’s what you think I want, I want you to do it because it’s what _you_ want to do,” Ace told him softly. “So if there’s anything you _want_ to say, I’m listening.”

Chris nodded. “I’m not really good at that, you know, just in case you haven’t figured it out yet,” he smiled, “but I guess we all have things we can work on.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as if he were focusing all of his energy on trying to find the right words to convey what he’d been thinking to Ace. “Well, first of all, this might be kind of obvious and _way_ overdue, but I’m sorry. I really am, nothing that was bothering me had anything to do with you.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed so hard about something you clearly didn’t want to talk to me about,” Ace said, willing to admit some culpability for what had happened.

“No,” Chris said, shaking his head. “I was wrong. There...there shouldn’t be things that are off-limits, not between us. You just wanted to know what was going on, and I didn’t give you any choice but to push. It’s just...”

“What?” Ace asked, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward as he peered at Chris.

“I talked to my dad. Did you know that? I don’t think I told you,” Chris said, shifting the topic a little, but Ace was so shocked by the news that he didn’t call him on it.

“Really? How did it go?”

“He was great. He was the exact opposite of what I’d feared. He’s trying to get my mom and me back on speaking terms, and it’s slow going, but we’re getting there. You were right, you know. I can say I don’t need their approval until I’m blue in the face, but it’s still really nice to have it,” Chris smiled halfheartedly.

“I’m glad he’s being supportive,” Ace answered. He knew that his mother’s reaction had been weighing on him, and it was a relief to see that burden lessen even slightly.

“That was a part of it, in a way. Not so much that I needed them, even though I’m beginning to realize that I needed them more than I thought, but that Abbey wasn’t getting to see them as much as she usually did. I don’t have a lot of relatives like you do, and Abbey needs all the family she can get. It’s not fair for her to lose her grandparents because of me.”

Ace was silent as he waited for Chris to continue. “I haven’t felt that way in a long time, and it scared me. I’ve doubted myself a lot, if I was a good son, a good brother, a good friend, but not once since the first time I held Abbey did I ever doubt I was a good father. I know I’m not the best, and I’ve made mistakes, but I’d move heaven and earth for her,” Chris said softly, “and I always thought that was enough, at least until...”

“Until?” Ace prompted, the pain in Chris’s voice tearing at his heart.

“Until I met you,” Chris finally finished.

Ace felt crushed, not sure what he had ever done to make Chris feel like he was a bad father. There couldn’t be anything further from the truth, but he just couldn’t seem to find the words to express that to Chris. “I’m sorry if I did anything to...” he said at last.

“You didn’t,” Chris interrupted. “It wasn’t you, it was _everything_. I’ve fought so hard against getting involved with anyone because I thought that was best for Abbey, and then I met you, and I had to rethink that because...you obviously adored her, and how could it possibly be right to deny her that? But then things feel apart with my parents, and I felt guilty about that. And I’ve always felt guilty about the way I’ve had to shuffle her around to different babysitters - De, my parents, you, whoever was available to watch her when I couldn’t be there. It was bad enough when it was just work and the band, at least I could justify that, but...”

“But you were giving up time with her to be with me,” Ace said softly.

“It wasn’t like that, and I don’t regret a second I’ve spent with you. But every time I picked her up at De’s or came home to find the two of you playing board games, I realized that was time I was never going to get back with her. Then Abbey would chatter on and on about how much fun she had shopping or watching movies or whatever, and I would think that...maybe she didn’t miss me all that much,” Chris rested his head in his hands as he stared at the floor. Ace knew that all of that had been hard for him to say, but he felt like there was still more, and he was afraid that if he spoke up now, Chris would freeze and they’d never get everything out in the open.

“Then that stupid dog was all she could talk about for weeks, and I would give that to her if I could, I really would, but I just can’t. If we could move somewhere that allowed pets, I’d do it, but as it is, I can barely afford this place. Raising a child isn’t cheap. She outgrows her clothes almost as soon as I buy them, and there’s always stuff that she needs for school, and, yeah, maybe I spoil her a little, but that’s only because I want her to know how much I love her. I’m always trying to make up for the fact that Sarah’s not here, but nothing I do is ever going to do that...and it’s not fucking _fair_ ,” Chris said vehemently, almost choking on the words as he spit them out.

Ace moved off the couch, kneeling on the floor in front of Chris, any lingering doubts about them dissipating, although if Ace were honest with himself, he’d forgiven Chris the minute he’s walked into the apartment. He finally understood what the blanket had represented to him and why he’d gotten so upset by it. The last thing he’d ever want to do was hurt Chris, but he’d managed to do that without even realizing it. He rested his hand on his knee, squeezing it a little to get Chris to look at him. “Hey,” Ace said, grasping his hand. “You are the most amazing father I know. Abbey loves you more than anything in the world, you know that. And all the guilt and everything…it’s understandable, Chris, but it’s pointless, because you’re already giving her everything you possibly can. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you, doing this alone, feeling like you had to do it alone, but...you _don’t_ have to, not anymore. I want to be there if...if you’ll just let me.”

Ace gasped at the unexpected crush of Chris’s lips against his. It might have felt weird being in his apartment again, but there was nothing odd or unfamiliar about kissing him. After the initial force, it subsided into a lingering kiss, their lips brushing against each others with a practiced ease. Ace nipped at Chris’s bottom lip, smiling when he was rewarded with Chris’s tongue sliding languidly against his. A need for air finally forced them apart, but Chris clutched Ace to him tightly, his lips brushing against his ear. “I’d like that a lot,” he said softly, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down Ace’s spine.

Ace climbed to his feet pulling Chris with him. “How long did you say Abbey was going to be gone?” he whispered, entwining their fingers, his thumb moving in circles across Chris’s palm.

“Awhile,” Chris murmured, his free hand traveling up Ace’s arm, tangling in his curls as Ace dipped his head, pressing their foreheads together. It had been too long since they’d been this close, maybe so long that Ace had thought it _was_ possible to give it all up, but standing there in the moment, he knew he never would have been able to do that. “God, I’ve missed you,” Chris said raggedly, the few inches between them disappearing as Ace drew him closer.

“Tell me about it,” Ace said, pulling back just enough to be able to look at him. Chris grinned then, his first full-blown grin all day, and glanced down at their still-joined hands. Silently, he turned and started across the room, his fingers brushing slowly across Ace’s palm as he let go. Ace readily accepted the unspoken invitation, following Chris towards his bedroom, a place that an hour ago, he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again.

 

By the time Ace made it to the doorway, Chris’s t-shirt was already laying on the floor, turned inside out and tossed carelessly against the closet door. Ace didn’t lose any time tugging his off, throwing it out of his way as he moved fully into the room. Ace hesitated just a second when Chris turned to look at him, his eyes dark and searching as they roamed over Ace’s face for any sign that this was going too fast. Chris closed the short distance between them with a couple of steps, his hands moving up Ace’s chest until the tips of his fingers brushed against his collar bone. “I love you,” he said suddenly. “You know that, right? And even when I get all…weird, I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” Ace grinned, caught by surprise for a second time as Chris hungrily devoured his mouth, his hands fumbling impatiently, first with Ace’s belt, and then the zipper on his jeans. Ace helped him out, pushing the rough material off his hips, kicking them off as they moved closer to the bed. “You’re wearing too much clothing,” Ace gasped when Chris finally broke away. The rest of their clothes joined the pile on the floor, and it seemed like only seconds had passed before they collapsed on the bed.

Ace was lost in the moment, relishing the feel of Chris’s hands roaming freely over his body, his mouth finding all the spots that he knew from experience would drive Ace crazy. So when his lips paused by his ear, the breathed words barely a whisper, it took a second for their meaning to register. “What?” Ace asked, his hand cradling Chris’s face, their eyes locked, the intensity of the moment not wasted on either of them.

“I said make love to me,” Chris repeated softly, not looking away and leaving no doubt in Ace’s mind as to what he was asking. Seeming to anticipate the question on the tip of Ace’s tongue, Chris pressed a finger to his lips and nodded. “I’m sure.”

Ace closed his eyes for a second, trying to slow his pounding heart. They’d talked about this, tangled together under twisted sheets during one of their stolen afternoons, but it seemed like forever had passed since that quiet conversation when Chris had admitted that, yes, he wanted him, but he just wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet. It wasn’t about trust or love, but something more than that, and as Ace opened his eyes to see the questioning look on Chris’s face, he smiled. “Absolutely,” he whispered, his lips brushing against Chris’s as he spoke.

If Chris was nervous, he didn’t show it at all as he calmly rolled onto his stomach, nudging Ace with his knee to get him moving. Ace’s eyes trailed over him, stretched out on the bed, his head pillowed against his arms, as he moved to the side of the bed and, with shaky hands, pulled open the nightstand drawer. He had to dig a little to find the condoms and lube, buried at the bottom of the drawer from disuse. Dropping them on the bed, he leaned over Chris, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He wanted this to be perfect, and he didn’t want Chris to have any regrets about it. He whispered soft assurances, his hands rubbing soothingly down Chris’s back, over the curve of his ass, and Ace paused again to place a soft kiss at the small of his back. He picked up a condom, tearing the wrapper slowly, giving Chris a chance to back out if he needed it, but from the content look on his face, he wasn’t going to. Ace moved quickly after that, keeping his eyes on the profile view he had of Chris’s face, noticing the way his breathing came in irregular gasps. He finished with the lube, covering Chris’s body with his once again, grasping his shoulder with one hand as he carefully thrust into him for the first time.

Ace had thought about this moment, fantasized about it, but nothing his imagination had made-up could compare to the reality. If it had been possible, he would have stopped time, then and there, and lived in that instant forever, but he couldn’t do that. He settled, instead, for imprinting the image he had of Chris in his memory, knowing that when he closed his eyes, he’d still be able to see the intense look of absolute ecstasy on his face.

Chris moaned softly, muffled by the pillow under his head. His arms moved from their casual crossed position to clutch the pillow tightly, fisting his hands into the soft stuffing. Ace struggled to remain still, giving Chris a chance to adjust to the sudden intrusion. Ace’s lips moved across his back, his tongue tracing Chris’s shoulder blades, tasting the salt on his flushed skin, and he was rewarded with another moan. “Fuck, Ace, come _on_ ,” Chris insisted, his hips rising off the bed to urge Ace to move. Ace didn’t need any more encouragement than that.

Their hands tangled together, squeezing each other’s fervently as they moved in unison. Ace had missed this, not _necessarily_ the sex, although, who he was he kidding? But the intimacy, the closeness, just _being_ with Chris. It had been too long since they’d been together, and Ace knew that neither of them could possibly last very long. He fought it, keeping his pace deliberately slow, staving off his orgasm for as long as he could, but when he felt Chris shudder beneath him, his muscles clenching tightly, he gave in, pressing his forehead to Chris’s back, following him two strokes later as everything shattered around him, a foggy haze settling over him as he gasped for breath.

Reluctantly, Ace pushed himself off of Chris, removing the condom and tossing it in the trash as he rolled onto his back. He turned his head to look at Chris, grinning at the expression on his face. “Okay?” he asked, shifting onto his side as he trailed a finger down Chris’s cheek.

“If the make up sex is going to be like that, we need to fight more often,” Chris answered, a smile tugging at his lips as Ace leaned in and kissed him.

“No more fighting,” Ace said softly, resting his head on the pillow a few inches from Chris. “I don’t ever want to spend that much time away from you again.” Chris didn’t say anything, he just smiled and nodded. Finally, with a tremendous amount of effort, he sat up.

“Be right back,” Chris said, pressing his lips to Ace’s once more before disappearing out the door, presumably heading to the bathroom. While he was gone, Ace stripped the bed of its dirty sheets, spreading a blanket across it for the time being, and settling back under the warm comforter just as Chris reappeared. “You read my mind,” Chris sighed happily, climbing back into bed.

“We probably don’t have much time,” Ace said, hating to bring them back to reality, but not wanting anything to happen to jeopardize their relationship now that they’d made up. Chris looked at him for a minute, his hand stilling where it had been trailing up and down Ace’s side.

“You could stay,” he suggested, biting his lip nervously as he watched Ace.

“What about Abbey?” Ace asked. “I thought…”

“We’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later, and I don’t think I can sleep in this bed tonight without you,” Chris interrupted, his fingers digging into Ace’s hip. “So, stay? Please?”

Ace nodded, his chest tightening as he looked at Chris. “Of course, I’ll stay. If that’s what you want.”

Chris smiled, looking relieved. “Good,” he said lightly, his voice cracking just a little at the end. Chris laughed, shaking his head and clearing his throat. “Good,” he repeated sounding more confident this time. Ace grinned as he brought their mouths together again. Soon, they would have to get up and dressed, and wait for Abbey to come home, but for now there was just them, in this moment, enjoying every second they could spend together after too much time apart.


	26. Chapter 26

(6 months later)

“You have got to relax. Why are you so nervous?” Ace asked, leaning against the counter as Chris continued wiping some imaginary stain off the stovetop. “It’s not like this is the first time they’ve met.”

Chris sighed, dropping the rag in the sink. “I know, it’s just…This is the first time they’ve all been here…in our house…at the same time. I’m just afraid it’s going to be a disaster, and when it is, remember that I told you it would be from the start.” He tried to frown as Ace leaned in, lightly brushing his lips against his, but he couldn’t.

“It’s going to be fine,” Ace reassured. “And when it is,” he added, smirking, “remember that I told you it would be from the start. I’m going to check on Abbey.”

“Smart ass,” Chris muttered under his breath. Apparently not quietly enough as Ace glanced over his shoulder and grinned at him. Chris rolled his eyes and admitted defeat. Ace was right, he was being completely irrational. Giving up on trying to clean the already spotless house any more, he followed Ace out the back door. He bit his lip, a smile threatening to overwhelm him as he watched Ace and Abbey kneeling on the ground beside the puppy, Carrot, they’d adopted from the animal shelter. What kind of name was that for a dog anyway, Chris thought for the millionth time, shaking his head. But Abbey had been adamant and, to be fair, in the right light, his reddish-brown fur _did_ look a little orange.

They’d been in the house three weeks, and had had the puppy for two and a half of them. And even though they’d spent half of their time unpacking tracking down missing items that their newest addition kept dragging off, for the most part, he and Abbey kept each other occupied while Ace and Chris did the bulk of the unpacking. It had been an adjustment for all of them, and Chris had worried about how Abbey would handle the move, part of the reason for the dog if he was honest, but they’d all settled in fairly easily.

This place had felt like home the first time they’d walked inside. Abbey had taken one look at the backyard, which wasn’t huge, but after living in the apartment certainly felt like it was, and practically begged them to move in. It had been the only unanimous house they’d looked at, and Chris still had trouble believing that they’d actually taken that step, not that he’d change it for anything in the world.

“Okay, Abbey, enough play time. Go get cleaned up before everyone gets here,” Chris called, grinning as she sighed and rolled her eyes. She turned to Ace with her eyes round, and he could already see where that was headed. “Now, Abbey,” Chris said sternly, leaving no room for argument.

“Go on, I’ll feed Carrot,” Ace assured her. Satisfied, she climbed off the ground and ran toward the house. Chris ruffled her hair slightly as she brushed past him. Before he had time to say anything else, the doorbell rang. He met Ace’s gaze, feeling nervous again. “You want me to get it?” Ace asked.

“I’ve got it,” Chris answered, shaking his head. “Just remember, I told you so.” Ace’s laugh echoed as he made his way back through the kitchen and into the living room, taking a deep breath before he opened the door.

“Hi, Mom, Dad,” he said giving his mom a quick hug and shaking his dad’s hand as he let them in the house. Things between him and his mom had gotten considerably better. She’d even gone to a few PFLAG meetings with Kay, although he was too scared to ask how that was going.

“Wow, Chris, this place looks a lot better than the last time we saw it,” his mom said, glancing around the room appreciatively. “Where’s Ace?” she asked. It had taken her awhile to get used to him, but once she’d gotten to know Ace, his mother had grown to really like him. She was even doing some occasional volunteer work at the hospital now, much to Chris’s surprise.

“Sandra!” Ace exclaimed, pushing through the kitchen door as if on cue. “Hi, Pete. It’s good to see the two of you again.” Chris would have thought he was laying the charm on especially thick if he didn’t know Ace better, but he was honestly just being himself. Chris smiled as he watched the three of them chatting casually, happy to just sit back and be an observer for a minute. Maybe Ace was right, and things would go smoothly.

“We want the grand tour,” Sandra insisted, letting Ace guide her into the kitchen. He shared an amused look with his father before he disappeared after them. They’d only been gone a couple of minutes when the doorbell rang again. Chris opened the door again, smiling when he saw Kay and Jay.

“Hey, we’re not late are we?” Kay asked as he pecked her cheek. “I tried to tell Jay they were doing road work, but he wouldn’t listen. I didn‘t think we‘d ever get through,” she said, looking at him pointedly. Jay shrugged good-naturedly, not really paying any attention to her comments.

“You’re not late,” Chris assured her, closing the door behind them. “My parents just got here. I think Ace is showing them around.”

“Good. Oh, I almost forgot. I know it’s a little late for a housewarming gift, but I heard you could use this,” she grinned, handing him a green bag with tissue paper sticking out of the top of it.

“You really didn’t have to,” he said, peeking into the bag. A picture of a toaster stared back up at him, and Chris could feel the blood rushing to his face. He glanced up sharply at Kay, but if she had any idea _how_ their toaster had gotten broken - Ace had accidentally pushed it off the counter when things had gotten a little, um, heated in the kitchen - she wasn’t saying anything. Chris made a mental note to ask Ace about it later, but then decided he probably didn’t really want to know. “Thanks,” he managed to get out, carefully avoiding her eyes as he glanced at the floor.

“But Grandma, you haven’t seen my room yet,” Abbey complained. She must have joined the group somewhere along the tour, Chris thought, as they entered the living room.

“Okay, Abigail, okay,” Sandra placated. “Why don’t you ask Grandma Kay if she wants to go with us,” Sandra told her, smiling at her granddaughter as she ran across the room to welcome Kay and Jay.

Chris looked at Ace in surprise, mouthing _Grandma Kay_ to him questioningly as their moms followed Abbey down the hall. Ace raised his shoulders in a shrug, apparently just as startled as he was. Obviously, his mother and Kay were getting along better than he’d known, but he definitely had not been expecting that.

“How about some drinks? Dad? Jay?” Chris asked as they settled onto the couch. With the assurance that whatever they had was fine, Chris went into the kitchen to grab a couple of sodas. He was peering into the refrigerator when he felt, more than saw, his mom enter the room behind him. She had put a lot of effort into mending their relationship, but the way she had acted had hurt. He couldn’t pretend like it had never happened, or that it didn’t still sting occasionally to remember just how fully she had rejected him.

“Abbey seems really happy,” Sandra said quietly. “She loves this place.”

“Yeah, she does,” Chris agreed, closing the fridge door and setting the cans on the counter. He turned to look at his mother expectantly, knowing she was gearing up to say something, he just wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. “Look, everyone’s waiting. We should really…”

“Just a minute. Please,” she insisted. “This won’t take long. There’s just something I need to say. Something I should have said a long time ago.” Chris watched as she crossed the room, smiling at him as she reached up to touch his cheek. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud that you’re my son. I know I haven’t always made that easy, but somehow you still managed to turn out pretty good anyway.”

Chris didn’t say anything for a second, letting her words sink in. “Thanks, Mom,” he said at last, hugging her tightly. He pulled back to find her eyes wet with tears. “Here,” Chris told her, handing her a napkin from the table. “I can’t take you back in there looking like a raccoon,” he said, trying to lighten things and get rid of the lump in his throat.

Sandra laughed as she dabbed at her eyes. “So much for the moment,” she chuckled. “How’s that?” she asked, looking up at him. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, her make-up a little smudged, but she looked beautiful to him, especially after everything they had been through.

“Perfect,” Chris answered, grinning at his mom. “You look perfect.”

 _The End_


End file.
